We are a nation of imbeciles, incompetents and idiots. We never learn we have the retentive powers of an ass. We were fucking asleep when others were awake and functioning.
God, the indignity of it all!
Our parliament house was attacked in broad day light. The world laughed at us, it howled in fact. We were a little perturbed; we beefed up the security in the area, what the heck. Where do these sons of bitches come from to steal us of our sweet sleep?
We could not watch our own faces for a while. Oh only for a while mind you, not for a week, not for the space of a day even. We were worried for the space of a millisecond. Then the ruckus died down and all was back to normal. We went back to the habit of fucking around and not heeding the writing on the walls.
Now they are having it good all over the country. It is an open country isn’t it? We have no secrets to hide; we are the most hospitable of all the people in the world. Think of the great civilization we have had, think of the cultural superiority we have now. We can’t be like other people. We don’t have to watch our ports and terminals or our shore line. We are watched over by God and by Obama. We just have to go about our businesses as if we are not part of the world.
If some one asks us:
“Brother how do I get in to such and such a place to plant bombs”,
You should display your joy and hug them.
And you should then drop all your other work and go with them till they are safely there. Give them your address too. Invite them to your homes; you should absolutely let them sleep on your bed while you sleep on the floor.
We are the nicest guys around are we not?
And the security of the nation? Friends what the fuck are you taking about? There is a thing called fate, can any one overcome it. What if the nation is to suffer like this, we can’t fight fate can we? No NSG is capable of doing that. Don’t ask why we formed this elite branch of the army. That was a mistake; we would not like to talk about it. The expenditure they are causing the exchequer.
Of course we supply them with the most out dated of all equipments. You know, it is to keep their enthusiasm down, being over enthusiastic would never do.
Those were good times when our soldiers had to shoot with 303’s while the Chinese were using deplorable machine guns on us in the middle of the last century. Our soldiers took it as a good work out then. They had to draw the bolt back after every shot was fired. It keeps up the fighting spirit and concentration. The Chinese soldiers had no discipline. They were spraying bullets from their guns, what a waste. We abhor wastage.
That is what we follow in the case of National Security Guards now. Nothing in excesses. What is the use of providing them even with bullet proof west’s as the Kalashnikovs go right through them.
The one good thing is that we have got enough men to spare. We have a billion to play around with.
As to the “see through the wall radars” etc that the people are talking about. We are perfectly able to guess what is on the other side. We have a history of thousands of years. We know how to deal with such situations . We normally send in our soldiers blind into the buildings, if we can’t see them, at least the enemy can see us, can’t they? They have to take the first initiative , that is the rule of the game, we are baring our heart here, after we loose a few men we would realize where they are (that is, if there is any one left to realize that).
The NSG needs a bit of shaking up too. We are paying them good money and a few martyrs are the minimum requirement in such cases. We need our good soldiers to sacrifice themselves for the nation.
Don’t talk about the latest technology (I still shudder at the word). We have the necessary mentality to cope up with the latest technology (Skill, knowledge, expertise, know-how, equipment. Machinery, tools -replace with any of these, but allow me to use technology won’t you?).
Infra red radars my foot, those only happen in fiction, not in sweet Indian real life terrorist drama.
We don’t need commandos in this land, our commando is the god. If that fails we have the Sathygraha. As for intelligence agencies, we have the best in the world. We have made a logical decision that we can’t monitor one billion people all the time. Come on, nobody can do that. Don’t kid us.
Honestly what the hell is the matter with this nation, why don’t we learn, why don’t we look around and see the world as it is. Now our elected idiots are safe. The rest of the idiots are born to suffer their fates. Who amongst us knows who are lucky to be in the midst of action next time? Sure friend, it is wonderful, this feeling of uncertainty, insecurity, it adds color to life; it keeps us on our toes. Oh our government is so careful that we should not feel a moment’s boredom in our lives.
We should thank them form the heart.
They keep us fit and healthy. It is punishment you know. We were lax in our younger days. When the PT teachers were shouting at us we talked to each other ignoring it. Now we have splendid opportunities in our late years to duck from bullets , run frantically without knowing where to, stay splayed on the ground, get wounded and some times knocked off , throw grenades back, piss and do other such sublime things on our cloths, cry aloud, think about our family( which we don’t normally do)………
This is sheer bliss; there is not a dull moment. Do you know when life does look really interesting, as a ‘must have’? Where else, in the middle of a mini war, when hoods turn machine guns on you, when grenades explode all around you, when limbs fly around like they have wings on them! It really revs you up. You suddenly realize that the life is some thing valuable as it is stated in the stories.
Isn’t our government kind to us, it teaches us the loveliest of all lessons. It teaches us the value of life. We should be proud instead of complaining.
This is the wonderful land of terror tourism. Of course we do not directly invite them, we do not advertise it, we only provide the necessary facilities………If every other sort of tourism fails, we at least have a monopoly over this, no one is ever going to beat us in it.
God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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