What Do We Do Now

I am Angry, I am upset, I am hoping mad, I want to tear up the bloody system and replace it with something youthful, something which has the guts to say to the world that we are not what the world take us for.

We are not fucking gutless. We should not be this incompetent.

But alas emotional reactions are not of any value when we are dealing with a bunch of brain fucked terrorists. We need to see things in their proper light, we need to hold on to sanity and make decisions based on our reason.

Blood of innocents has been shed in this land and lives have been taken. The people are suffering ; the country has been dealt a wicked blow by misguided and fanatical minions of terrorism. It is all over the media and does not require any further elucidation.

Their inventiveness is growing by the year. Now what are we going to do about it? We are supposed to be the greatest fucking democracy around. We should be proud of it. But we are not are we?

We don't even hold any real liking for our land. If we did we would have been more vigilant.

For there has to be a minimum allegiance to your people and its institutions in times of distress and calamity. You spring from them, you have shared their resources.

What can you give back to your people? When terror strikes everything is put in jeopardy. People no more believe in themselves, they are frightened, they don’t know where to turn and what to do.

But something must be done. Other than voicing platitudes what can we do about the menace that has best our society?

Unfortunately none seems to have an answer to this problem. In a vast and populous country like ours, the means and capability for dealing with growing terror is limited. It is no use blaming the system alone for all that is happening in our midst. Our attitude is to be blamed for the fiasco, it is our apathy and disinterestedness that is ruining us.

There are situations where a “Lets wait and see” attitude might be of use. But this not one such. There have been hundreds of deaths already. The whole country is being targeted by the terrorists.

What we do we do now?

Removing incompetent people from positions of power alone is not going to help. The current need is for a comprehensive strategy on dealing with terrorism which is not limited to paper.

People strong enough to handle situations like this have to be put in harness and they have to be given freedom to act. There can be no politicization on this front. They have to be given the power and equipment to deal with the attacks and curb it brutally if it occurs.

Deng Zhao Ping the former Chinese supremo told the world that if he had to kill a million men to save a billion people he would do it at the time of Tienanmen Square incident. I am not defending his moral stance on the issue. But the strength and political will power he and the Chinese displayed at that time is remarkable.

These are not the times for the week willed and the vacillating specimens of humanity. The leaders have to be strong and tough minded. Decisions have to be taken in split seconds and implemented. In the terrorist scenario this could only be done by people who have prior knowledge and experience in such situations. We do not lack them here in India. These have to be put in positions to deal with them and their decisions supported even if they turn out bad in some cases.

Billions of bucks are ear marked every year for the defense of our country. Defending our rights to live without fear is important too. Don’t spare expenses to modernize the anti terrorist machinery in the land.

The National Security Guards are the last option. We should not let the situation get to that. This can all be done at the government level.

All external and internal intelligence agencies have to be linked to each other and asked to grant strict priority to anti terrorist operations. All entry points to the land monitored strictly with every available equipment. If needed ban tourism for a period till we have put an effective monitoring apparatus in place.

The government and its agencies alone can not do everything in this fight.

This is where people’s participation becomes important. We have seen what happens when our government machinery can’t do anything to save us from the threat in the last few years. This has to act as a catalyst in organizing people into vigilante groups to support government in its efforts to combat terrorism.

Our country is vast and its population is too bulky to be handled singly by the agencies that we have in the land. So it is up to us to save our asses. Only we can monitor our neighborhood efficiently to isolate foreign elements in our midst.

The terrorists would only strike at populous places to inflict more damage. Cities like Mumbai can only be effectively monitored by the people living there.

Make people carry ID’s at all times. Make them responsible for what they do with their time. Grant the vigilante groups semi legal powers to inspect any one’s ID if they think fit.

I know that the terrorists would come prepared to deal with all this. They would have picture perfect accounts of every segment of their time in a day with records to prove it. But they will have to be very careful with it then onwards.

No organization would be able to bring in thousands of men into the land to carry out an operation like that in Mumbai. Strict monitoring by the people and the law would make their life difficult and make them either alter their plans or commit blunders. No amount of brain washing would be able to overcome physical barriers once they are newly put in place. Whether they are robots or not they are human too. They can also fail.

The problem with the modern version of terrorism is that they have no demands at all. Their only objective is to attract attention of the media by acts of mass murder and demolitions. We can’t negotiate with them, we can only eliminate them. For this we need the same physical, mental capabilities that they have. The NSG and such forces should be provided with all safety equipments and technological support that they require. It is not great having causalities among them.

We can’t allow a few senseless fanatics to do anything they please in India. That would be tantamount to denying the people the liberty and freedom that they otherwise have.

These are the preliminary thoughts which came to my mind as I was watching the recent story evolving on the TV. We lost a few honest souls in the fray. Our officers got gunned down. It was a fiasco. The only consolation is that the death toll could be limited to some extend. But that doesn’t mean that it was a victory for us. We were morally, politically and physically defeated in the incident. We had to surrender to the terror merchants for a period of over 50 hours. This is unacceptable.

I think what I have said above reflects the thought of every person in the land. We are angry, agitated and troubled. We do not want this to go on. We feel that our government has failed us and has been incompetent in dealing with the situation, we feel that they have betrayed out trust in them. None could intrude into a country (Even a country like ours) without help from people in power. This has to stop.

This has to stop forever.

Sheer Bliss

We are a nation of imbeciles, incompetents and idiots. We never learn we have the retentive powers of an ass. We were fucking asleep when others were awake and functioning.

God, the indignity of it all!

Our parliament house was attacked in broad day light. The world laughed at us, it howled in fact. We were a little perturbed; we beefed up the security in the area, what the heck. Where do these sons of bitches come from to steal us of our sweet sleep?

We could not watch our own faces for a while. Oh only for a while mind you, not for a week, not for the space of a day even. We were worried for the space of a millisecond. Then the ruckus died down and all was back to normal. We went back to the habit of fucking around and not heeding the writing on the walls.

Now they are having it good all over the country. It is an open country isn’t it? We have no secrets to hide; we are the most hospitable of all the people in the world. Think of the great civilization we have had, think of the cultural superiority we have now. We can’t be like other people. We don’t have to watch our ports and terminals or our shore line. We are watched over by God and by Obama. We just have to go about our businesses as if we are not part of the world.

If some one asks us:

“Brother how do I get in to such and such a place to plant bombs”,


You should display your joy and hug them.

And you should then drop all your other work and go with them till they are safely there. Give them your address too. Invite them to your homes; you should absolutely let them sleep on your bed while you sleep on the floor.

We are the nicest guys around are we not?

And the security of the nation? Friends what the fuck are you taking about? There is a thing called fate, can any one overcome it. What if the nation is to suffer like this, we can’t fight fate can we? No NSG is capable of doing that. Don’t ask why we formed this elite branch of the army. That was a mistake; we would not like to talk about it. The expenditure they are causing the exchequer.

Of course we supply them with the most out dated of all equipments. You know, it is to keep their enthusiasm down, being over enthusiastic would never do.

Those were good times when our soldiers had to shoot with 303’s while the Chinese were using deplorable machine guns on us in the middle of the last century. Our soldiers took it as a good work out then. They had to draw the bolt back after every shot was fired. It keeps up the fighting spirit and concentration. The Chinese soldiers had no discipline. They were spraying bullets from their guns, what a waste. We abhor wastage.

That is what we follow in the case of National Security Guards now. Nothing in excesses. What is the use of providing them even with bullet proof west’s as the Kalashnikovs go right through them.

The one good thing is that we have got enough men to spare. We have a billion to play around with.

As to the “see through the wall radars” etc that the people are talking about. We are perfectly able to guess what is on the other side. We have a history of thousands of years. We know how to deal with such situations . We normally send in our soldiers blind into the buildings, if we can’t see them, at least the enemy can see us, can’t they? They have to take the first initiative , that is the rule of the game, we are baring our heart here, after we loose a few men we would realize where they are (that is, if there is any one left to realize that).

The NSG needs a bit of shaking up too. We are paying them good money and a few martyrs are the minimum requirement in such cases. We need our good soldiers to sacrifice themselves for the nation.

Don’t talk about the latest technology (I still shudder at the word). We have the necessary mentality to cope up with the latest technology (Skill, knowledge, expertise, know-how, equipment. Machinery, tools -replace with any of these, but allow me to use technology won’t you?).

Infra red radars my foot, those only happen in fiction, not in sweet Indian real life terrorist drama.

We don’t need commandos in this land, our commando is the god. If that fails we have the Sathygraha. As for intelligence agencies, we have the best in the world. We have made a logical decision that we can’t monitor one billion people all the time. Come on, nobody can do that. Don’t kid us.

Honestly what the hell is the matter with this nation, why don’t we learn, why don’t we look around and see the world as it is. Now our elected idiots are safe. The rest of the idiots are born to suffer their fates. Who amongst us knows who are lucky to be in the midst of action next time? Sure friend, it is wonderful, this feeling of uncertainty, insecurity, it adds color to life; it keeps us on our toes. Oh our government is so careful that we should not feel a moment’s boredom in our lives.
We should thank them form the heart.

They keep us fit and healthy. It is punishment you know. We were lax in our younger days. When the PT teachers were shouting at us we talked to each other ignoring it. Now we have splendid opportunities in our late years to duck from bullets , run frantically without knowing where to, stay splayed on the ground, get wounded and some times knocked off , throw grenades back, piss and do other such sublime things on our cloths, cry aloud, think about our family( which we don’t normally do)………

This is sheer bliss; there is not a dull moment. Do you know when life does look really interesting, as a ‘must have’? Where else, in the middle of a mini war, when hoods turn machine guns on you, when grenades explode all around you, when limbs fly around like they have wings on them! It really revs you up. You suddenly realize that the life is some thing valuable as it is stated in the stories.

Isn’t our government kind to us, it teaches us the loveliest of all lessons. It teaches us the value of life. We should be proud instead of complaining.

This is the wonderful land of terror tourism. Of course we do not directly invite them, we do not advertise it, we only provide the necessary facilities………If every other sort of tourism fails, we at least have a monopoly over this, no one is ever going to beat us in it.

God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Krasnoyarsk

(I had deleted this post I think, but it doesn’t seem all that bad, so I have edited it a little and am releasing it again to the world. The lucky you!)

Well here is what I found on the Russian experiments on zombifying human beings. The experiments were conducted by the military at their classified research institute at Moscow. And the time of these experiments? Hell, how in the devils name am I supposed to know that! The article itself was a maze. Want some of it? Then taste the dish! Don’t say that I did not warn you!

-Quote-

“I do not know when it began with me to occur. The sensation such is simple, that up to the certain moment me is I, and farther not I.”

(From the story of Krasnoyarsk woman P)

“End” of Quote

That was Cute. “Up to certain moment me is I . farther not I”

Faulkner would not come anywhere near.

Poor girl, I am not railing against her, she was describing indescribable things which were being done to her. It would have been much better to quote the article in its entirety. But you have seen what it has done to me. I fear for you folks.. I fear for you.

The gist of the matter is, neuroliguistic programming is being used of by the Russian military to produce Zombies. They are produced in two flavours. The “rigid” and the “soft”. The rigid variety has the following characteristics.

Change in eye colour-In tone of voice-In vocalisation-In the span of attention
and, further bonuses are,

-memory loss-slow reaction time -and “ridiculous stereotype of behaviour”
Nice things to have undoubtedly. Some experiences in our lives do produce these otherwise too. Any how quite handy things to posses by the look of it.

In contrast the “soft” Zombies are “in essence nothing differs from all other people.”

The most worrying part is the assertion in the article that “making a zombie…………… is possible effectively to make secretly, on distance, with the help of products of electromagnetic radiations or at a contact way of processing of object with the help of an electroshock”

The article states that drugs like Aminasin is being used to suppress and modify behaviour. Whole armies could be formed this way from addicts who are already under the spell of narcotics. It reminds me of the experiments of MKUltra and other agencies at Los Angeles in the Sixties and Seventies on the same lines. But they (the experiments) were termed as unsuccessful by the agencies in question.

On the use of electromagnetic radiation it is stated that they have the capability to penetrate through dress and other fabrics and would cause pathological changes inside the human body. It is succinctly mentioned “the man has diseases” and slowly withers away. An autopsy would reveal nothing other than the most immediate cause of death.

On to Microwave now. “A MICROWAVE of radiation introduces the information directly in a brain, and in their fields any psyhotreatment of sub consciousness is appreciably accelerated. In quality of antennal transmitters of such waves the telephone and radio relay postings, pipe of the water drain and heating, and also TV set, telephone and fire-prevention signal system, radio network, electrical posting of an inhabited building are quite used.”

As to the symptoms of microwave irradiation here are some:

fever in legs, burning sensation in soles, pain in ears, pain in eyes, clicks in a head, impacts in nasopharynx in support of cough, sneeze and cold, possible arrhythmia of heart and numbness of hands.


“The similar symptoms usually disappear after a leaving of the man from a zone of an irradiation. The consisting generators are secret on arms.”


They say that the millimetre waves also affect the human body in disastrous ways.

It aims at programming the individual so that at any point of time he/she can be made to show anger and irritability causing a diagnosis of insanity. It is being used as an effective way to isolate and remove an individual from the scene to a mental hospital were they are then used as guinea pigs for further experimentation.
X Rays are also said to be in wide usage. They can be used through the walls to locate any specific point inside the brain and either activate it or deactivate it. The equipment in use for sophisticated x ray beaming is said to be secret.

Torsion Radiation is mentioned as instrumental in causing internal diseases and triggering subconscious reactions. This equipment is also said to be top secret.
As for Ultra sound its application is said to be capable of striking at the centres of life support and if effectively used in a well directed beam could cause the head pan to split. The modern Jack the Ripper it seems. It is also said to be capable of stopping the heart dead. And infrasound does not lag far behind.

“Elastic powerful infrasound is capable to injure and even completely to stop heart of any man. The usually unpleasant sensations begin with 120 db of intensity injuring - with 130db. “

All this information is provided by Nikolai SHCHEKIN. Kudos Nikolai, I did not mean what I said at the beginning. I can sense your deep interest and commitment to the cause. I too am trying to come to terms with the language of the Anglo Saxons. Good work brother. Keep it up, wherever you are.

Earnest to the core

Do you know what sincerity is? Well it is nothing very spectacular, it is not the fireworks to be sure, it’s not the floods or famine or earth quake or an even atomic explosion. But then it can cause all these! It is the most basic of all feelings. It is SINCERETY!

Every one of us has had this terrible feeling of being unnecessarily sincere (to ourselves of course) at one time or other. On occasions we even surprise everyone with the intensity of the feeling. A person wonder, is this the guy we knew up to now, is this the guy we grew up with? See how worked up he is! There is some kind of a halo around the guy. He sizzles all over. He is sincerity itself. Well who would not like such praises?

Speaking from experience, at one time, I had this horribly sincere feeling about a girl. I was very young then, about nineteen to twenty I think. Some people call it by the name of love, but I can tell you it is nothing but sincerity terribly camouflaged. When you have it, it is killing. It is like being inside the blast furnace day and night. It singes you to hell, who ever told the world that it is a beautiful feeling. It is torment extreme.

I was so sincere that her mere thought would burn everything inside me. Her sweet apparition would stand before me at all times. To this day I could not understand the magic about it. I see my mug in the mirror every day and I can’t remember it at all. Nor could I remember all those people I see around every day in any detail. I was never was that observant! All the same there she would be before my minds eye, glittering and shining very moment, though I have only seen her score of times!

The sad fact is that I was even in love with the faint filament of saliva which formed occasionally in her sweet mouth. I used to rave about it, though I hated it in others. The strange power of love, it adds beauty to the weirdest of things.

Only those who had the lovely luck to be caught in its wicked net (It is not the internet or fish net or even the hair net my friend don’t mistake me, it is about the blessed net woven by the stupid cupid that I am talking about.) can vouch for the intense pain that it ushers in. The wise say that you should be in love at least once in your lives. Well once is bloody enough. No one would ever venture on that line again once completely burned. There is a thing called self preservation isn’t there?

Can you sleep? Can you dream and even when you are dreaming are you really in it, can you do any of the most ordinary things of your life with any amount of confidence? Are you out of your blessed nut?

It is terrible, truly terrible. You become accountable for every single action of yours. You do a dumb thing (which of course is your birth right, or at least I think it is mine!) and you are suffused in pain- God what will she thinks of it? It is as if you are standing before an invisible jury every second who is ready to convict you on the flimsiest of pretexts.

You fail at some thing and have this searing sensation that you have failed her in some way (all the while she would probably be thinking about some other such idiots like you or not thinking of anything else other than her own blessed self!) Oh god it was unbearable.

The liking for her saliva filament not with standing, I was a fool for pure platonic love then. I had all the animal urges for sure, but I was in that totally idealistic frame of mind about her. Not that I did not have chances to do some thing else. I had enough in fact. But corrupting her soul (may be she was pure and may be she wasn’t, she derided platonic love on one occasion I remember, but I would have none of that.). If I had a wicked dream about her I would be reduced to ashes, and if I had a lovely dream about the nymph I would burn more.
Oh the trouble of it all!

The strangest thing was that I thought this feeling was totally unique and has not been experienced by any one else in the world. But now I am certain that it truly was beyond parallel in the world. For it was the height of stupidity, I should have introduced libido into it on the very first chance. I know every one of you would kick me around for saying this (wink), yet I think this is how everybody feels about their own stupid little platonic love affairs.

Well all this comes out of a thing called sincerity. But if you are not sincere what are you? You would be a hypocrite to be sure, a phony, an insensitive scoundrel. Yet what is wrong with that? If it saves you from emotional entanglements, if it saves you from being laughed at, being made fun off, and if it provides you with wonderful opportunities to have a little bit of pleasure, what is wrong with that?

There are people who can live without a drop of water till they die, there are those who can exist without eating (the Ethiopians for example. There was this incident in which a starving child asks its ‘carrying’ mother what she had eaten without even giving a morsel to it! Heart breaking. But we can steel ourselves to it and go after the pleasures that would satisfy us.), there are people who can walk around without taking a bath for days on end and the only people who are bothered are just you and me, there are also those who can even subsist without breathing , people call them dead. We have all seen them haven’t we?

Why can’t we live without sincerity? It is not a sin is it? Tell me, what is the one thing you want in life? Peace of mind is it not. You do not want to have it in pieces instead. You are after whole and complete tranquility.

What is the best way to achieve it? Strangle every little feeling that you have, oust them for once and for ever. Then and then only you are saved.

Well yet there are people who can not live without sincerity, who will be terribly lost if it is not there. They find themselves in the greatest wilderness of their lives if they do not follow the sincere promptings of their hearts. Can you believe it? Is it not the biggest folly in the whole wide world?

But then that is how this feeling is; it is the most wonderful of all things. It is called sincerity.

Not about love in particular.

Brother, speaking of divine inspirations, (which of course comes without perspiration.), they are the most wonderful of all things!

The other day I had one such. The world has suddenly become empty of everything except for me, my wife and a gold smith! As you might have guessed that the gold smith is the important part. He is there to make trinkets for my wife, without which she of course can’t survive.

This elated me no end. What worries people? ‘Other’ people no doubt! (We worry ourselves sometimes too, this is a subtle point, and we naturally would not admit it). Well the ‘other’ also could be your own alter ego. But we would not get in to those details here, for one thing we are not sublimely intelligent and for another this business of the alter ego or the other has been invented by people who do not know about themselves at all.

Well if you ask me what reason have I to speak of others and of what they know, absolutely no reason at all. But let me ask you, did that shut people up anytime. No, that is the beauty of life, you meddle in the lives of others no end. Without ever expecting them to meddle in yours. Oh that goes without saying does it not?
We can not be ever criticized (yours truly dislikes criticism so much that he usually does the trick of ostrich when that occurs. Well every one has their individual styles of course.)

I do not know whether the above divine inspiration would ever come to pass. If that occurs ‘me’ will really be put to test. Living with your beloved can be so damn terrible as only those who have had the luck would know. The problem could be that she always wants to “be loved” and loved like the bloody fucking hell. Unfortunately no man is a reservoir of love.

Well I can’t call myself a psychologist. But I can at least speak about myself can’t I? Honestly I find loving the toughest of all jobs. You thought it was some kind of blissful feeling which lasts for ever, did you now? Well the fact is otherwise. It does the trick of the tired horse some times, no amount of flogging would make it come to its feet, let alone run.

Now why is that? Why can’t we hold on to some feeling and make it work every time. I will let you into a secret. We almost divorced our physical self from the discussion. That is where the error lies. Whenever we talk about feelings we tend to forget that we are organisms which functions according to certain laws of nature.
I have had occasion to study Economics for a little while (hated it no end, was never a good student in my life). It taught me about the diminishing margin of utility. There is supposed to be a utility curve which goes down as the consumption of the commodity reaches the saturation point.

Love is a commodity too. All feelings are commodities. Even God and Truth are commodities, you don’t believe me? Well then you are never going to attain them at all.

But we are not talking about discovering truth here are we, though I have this fantastical habit of reducing everything into this one quest? It is very limiting really. It comes of having a one track mind. I had one such.

Ennui for a young man is the most destructive of all things. I was ensnared by Adwaita at a very dangerous age. It completely dried me up. It tore the magic of the life into tiny shreds. One who have practiced Pancheekarana etc (Practice of a sort of mental of alchemy or arithmetic to rid you of the belief in physical reality.) once for any length of time would never be fully”in” this world again. No amount of living is going to bring the romance of life back into you.

I have become senile in that sense. It is the most boring of all subjects in the world. If we only wanted to discover the holy truth, why come to this world at all? We had the fill of truth wherever we were. We were up to our neck in it. Why come here and rediscover it again?

Because we chose to come here. It was our bloody decision. We had had enough of oneness; we wanted to divide and become numerous, to kick up a holy din. That is why we are here, out of our own true volition. Then some one comes with this divine nonsense of running us back to the source. This is what we should call a futile quest. But we know love is not like that. We can’t have enough of it. I have to agree that it has some magic to it. I felt it myself and even he greats like Parasara felt it.

All the fever of love had happened to me before my intrusion into the spiritual. It was hectic too. Now it mostly serves as a measure to gauge the intensity of my other feelings by.

Love is totally physical and like everything else it has its saturation point and a downward curve. If it catches you on the downward curve you just can’t do anything about it. You might have felt the fever and burning once, but now you can’t take it any more, you can’t sustain it, it is not that you have ceased to like the person any the less. But you just are in no physical condition to put in the effort. Though we have elevated love to the stature of god it is as mortal as any thing else. It even dies off like a mortal. If it does so it can be never revived.

It is really an exchange of energy. When you are drained of the energy you can’t love, you can only fake it.

Being alone in the world with only our beloved as the object of our attention has one advantage in this sense, she would be there when the curve rises and falls and she can’t run away. But the problem is she can also be the most adamant and vindictive of all. You can’t rely on the goldsmith to take the brunt of the attack when she is angry.

And sex has very little to do with it.

Women somehow have a surplus of this strange energy called love and can call up it at a moments notice. This has always made me wonder.

She mostly limits herself to one pasture at a time too, while man would love to graze in the neighbors homestead. May be he requires different sorts of energies to live a full life. This difference in mentality causes all the skirmishes between the two kinds.

The long and short of it is that there is nothing divine in love at all. It can be called an exchange of energy. The more you get the better you feel. The more you have at your disposal the richer you feel. People become miserly about love. Then it becomes to look like a fucking possessiveness. Perhaps that is what it really is. Possessiveness. We camouflage it under a lot of nonsense, its wonderful nonsense but the moment we put them to an endurance test they fall apart.

Such is the sad tale of human love.

(Let me know if you can make sense out of it, for I can’t!)

Chain Reaction

(Caricatures)

I knew it even before, I did not have to do it. But my “good half” would not have any of that. Se was adamant that I should be a government employee.

I was having it good then mind you. Had this paper distribution business and a cycle shop to boot. I was earning good money too. But she said the pennies earned in “service “is something else. I strongly suspect that she had her eye on the security side of the issue. She can’t run the paper business and the cycle shop if I croak by any chance. But she can sign on a ledger to receive government money. Women, my god women.

The strangest fact is that there was any number of supporters for her too. My own mother for instance.

Don’t be a fool, accept the job”

She does not know a single thing about the job; she is not even bothered too. But my woman has this trick of influencing others. She had my mother eating out of her hands. That was the strangest thing I ever saw. Yet I was thankful to the almighty. This talent of her keeps the house out of trouble. Of course the only one in trouble was to my self. I was not surprised when my mother seconded the wish of my wife. I had seen it coming.

Yet where was her enthusiasm when I was with her all those years before I got married? I had seen enough of money in my life. As for security I was sure that I had enough for my wife and children even if I was no more. May be they can’t live like millionaires’, but they can live all the same. But both would not have it.

I curse the moment I thought of applying for the post. Actually I had nothing to do with it. My cousin was in the Commission which conducts such tests. One day he brought this form for me to sign. I thought it was some trick of his to rope in some one instead of me. Such practices are not unheard of. I had forgotten all about it.

Then one day I got the call for the test. Oh it was not anything very tough. I am a paper distributor remember. I go through several dailies on a daily basis. I could even write much better tests than this. It was Childs play for me.

Who is the president of India?

Indira Gandhi of course. No need to ask at all.

American president (current)?

That was the only tough one. Who cares about the president of America? I blamed the commission for preparing the question paper in English. For gods sake the job was for peon category in government service.

We could answer it in our tongue of course.

I could have named the American president in a sec. It was on the tip of my tongue. But they wanted to know the “current” American President. This current has some business with electricity does it not? Luckily I knew some history. It was Edison who invented electricity for sure.

I thanked my stars for being so logical in my approach. Everybody else would have missed the question altogether. I wrote:

Thomas Alva Edison

After those answers, in I knew that they could not fail me.

They also tested whether we could ride a bicycle. I am a cycle mechanic, I cook up bicycles. I could even be called the inventor of the thing itself. It was dead easy and I was sure that I would get in first. It was then I started to become afraid. I was a happy bird up to now.

I intensely prayed on a daily basis not to pass. If I passed I would become like my neighbor, who does not stop talking about increment, pay revision and dearness allowance without a pause. Think of dreaming about a paltry increase of ten bucks when I make hundred already. You know, my belief is that it makes us small. Talk abut big money if you can, if you can’t keep your pretty mouth closed.

It was not anything wonderful that I got in. But my cousin could not save me from being posted as a watcher. Oh I go it changed the moment I entered the service. No more paper distribution and cycle repair for me. My carefully built business is going to the dogs. But the family looks satisfied now.

My woman is very proud when she has to say things like.

“ Chettan is about to start for the office you know.”

The office my foot! I hold the post of a chainman. You ask what the job of a chainman is. Well once we had to hold a chain to assist the surveyors for their survey work you know. But no one does it now. We have such things like the distometer now.

Is the work hard? My dear man, no one understands the procedure any more. We can’t even locate the survey stones any more. People have uprooted them and thrown away for good. So we have it easy. We use our imagination to do the survey and the draughtsman traces it on a piece of map. This only happens in once in a blue moon. And we get traveling allowance for it too. Well for the rest of the days we are at the office.

That is the most difficult part. You have to sit and sit till roots come out of your ass. Of course you are allowed to walk. But where could you walk? Here is this office space, if you want to move out of it you need permission, you get bloody tired of the sedentary job after a while you know. How long can warm your butt on a chair looking out through the windows to the out side world.

Then occasionally there would be the bells. One rang just now. But I am sitting firm. Some one else might go and get it. Some times you have to go when no one is around. They might give you some files to take to some one or other in the office. Make sure that it reaches nowhere in time. Place it some where else if you can. No ne would remember who carried it the next day and you ca n say that you nothing about it.

After some time of this people will become wise about you and will stop calling you for anything at all. Once you display enthusiasm in this job you are done for. You will the be considered the available power lifter in the department and everything will fall on your shoulders. It does not matter whether you can carry it or not. If something goes wrong somewhere you will be blamed for it every time.

Shifting responsibilities is the greatest trick you have to learn in the official line. Never accept any responsibilities. If you do, even the god would not be able to save you from hell.

There is that ring again. None of the others seems to be around. Well what to do, I have to go check what it is. I fantasize that it is a fire alarm and the whole wretched office is burning down.

Where angels fear to tread

Even If they knew nothing else, the ancients in our land knew about one thing for sure, (you guessed it! I knew you were smart from the start!).
And that is?

Now don’t disappoint me, it’s on the tip of your tongue.

Still mute? Still silence personified?

Oh you still want to play the saint with me, alright, alright. But let me inform you, I am the greatest living saint on earth at present, and I know about it too. May be not the “full particulars” as one of my former colleagues used to say, but yet I know a li’ll about it.

C’mon you can do it. That is it, you win all the prizes!

-Our ancients were pretty conversant with the force that brought us out into the world!

My oblations, oh great recreational and procreational force, without you there would be nothing in the world, the world would be a vast and dumb place.

I used to ask my mother how I came to this world, as a little child. In fact I was very persistent. She never evaded the issue. She used to say that I came from her belly.

I would then ask:

“But who put me there?”

“Your father.”

“How?”

“Well you see this small dip on our belly; it opens up when we are asleep. He dropped you into my belly through it.”

“But he has a dip on his stomach too. Why did he not drop me into his belly?”

Mother looked at me with amusement. I recognized my mistake. The dip opens up only when we are asleep, and when you are sleeping you can’t put something into your belly.

She was watching my consternation closely. She took pity on me.

“You were in his belly alright; he took you out of it and put you in mine. “

“He can’t do that while he is asleep”

Well I thought I won my point and was elated. Hurrah.

Mother laughed out right.

“I took you out while he was sleeping and asked him to put you into my belly when I doze off.”

Things were getting very complicated for me by then. I strongly suspected that mother was making fun off me. But the story fascinated me as well. So I asked her a little doubtfully.

“But why?”

"Well you see children need milk to grow. Only we mothers have it."

I thought long and hard about it for some time. How could I drink her milk when I am in her belly? It all became very confusing. I considered my mother very intelligent. She always used to have the upper hand in all the arguments we ever had. There must be something in what she says. I was very worried about something else too. What if some one would puts some children into me through the dip in my belly.

She was carrying my younger brother then and I used to watch her belly bulge and recede sometimes with great fright. She said it was the baby kicking inside her belly.

I secretly resolved never to sleep from then onwards. Think of the horrifying after effects.

Now she said sweetly.

“If you want to know anything more just ask you know!”

I knew that she had me confused but was not ready to give in.

“Why did he get me in the first place then?”

“Well very naughty children are given to men for sometime for safe keeping.”

“Who gave me to him?”

“Why don’t you ask your father about it? “ She laughed.

That was never going to do. Children are good at judging people, although I could not have said it in so many words I intuitively knew that my father was the strictest moralist around then and was completely humorless. He never spanked any of us, but on this one I was not quite sure.

Well that was my first inquiry into the nature and truth of human procreation. I later realized that there is more to it than it appears. The tremendous force often catches people unawares.

It even caught one of our great sages while he was crossing a river in a boat. The river was big and the sage was alone with the boat-girl. She was exquisite and very young while the sage was old and had not seen anybody for a long, long time, let alone a lovely young thing.

Till then he was immersed in the inner wonders and suddenly there she was, sweet, fresh and eminently consumable. A real and unbeatable wonder of life. The Indian sages always knew when they were beaten.

He became a sage of life in an instant. He pointed to the sky and told her about an auspicious planetary formation. It was never going to occur in a thousand years again and was the most suitable moment for procreation and copulation. The sages of India have always been well informed that way. Whenever they wanted sex on the sly there would be a divine constellation not to be missed somehow. Such stories abound in the epics.

The girl was the daughter of a fisherman chieftain. Se was black and smelt strongly of fish. But would that deter our sage, he persisted and the girl may have become curious too. But she had all her beans with her and was practical and cool.

She was offered anything and everything in his capacity for the spurious of pleasures. I can’t blame the sage; the lust for young flesh can be quite inflaming.
The girl put forth her demands.

That,

The thing shall be done in secret and she would remain a virgin even afterward and not encumbered with any offspring from the incident,

And that her foul fish smell shall be replaced by a fragrant one.

The sage agreed to all that.

The boat and surrounding water body was suddenly enveloped by a thick fog and the event took place. The girl conceived there and then and gave birth to a boy, who grew up to be a youth within the space of few moments and departed for studies ( I should not laugh and remember Spinoza’s treatise on religion, but what to do, I am human after all!). She became fragrant.

The sage was called Parasara and was never heard of again. The girl became the wife of king Shantanu and her children and grand children and great grand children enacted the whole drama of the great epic Mahabharata.

Who do you think the writer of the epic was? Her first born of Parasara- the great Vyasa who disappeared for studies the moment he was born.

Such is the after effects of a sage’s lust.

The Consciousness nonsense

Well I was absolutely moping due to a bad cold, and was watching Varsity Blues on the telly (old fashioned word for the Idiot box is it not?). I loved that fat defender having a CAT scan to check whether he has any brains at all. The check proved conclusive, he had a fully functional brain. The lucky bastard!

Well I am not so sure about mine anyway, lately there seems to be nothing in it. I did a sort of Consciousness Affirmation Scan myself and the results are not very satisfactory. You can derive your own conclusions from the following I hope.

The fact is, I have always wondered what consciousness is( we usually wonder only at those things we do not have, or so the wise say!), no one seems to agree on it anyway, my own belief in it stems from personal experiences of a certain sort that is very subjective and not at all scientific. So it is not very “logical” and “realistic” as some of my esteemed friends would say. Hence I have to discard it altogether and look for the modern(!) and scientific (!) explanation on the thing.

I have to warn you about two things at the outset of the effort itself. The onset of the cold and an infernal sneezing has reduced the effectiveness of my otherwise wonderful one finger technique of typing (What has the cold to do with typing, you may wonder. Well there are many such incomprehensible things in the world). As to the cerebral faculties I doubt whether they are oozing out of me through the nose at the moment. Would some sweet medicine man/woman help me?

Anyway, I began looking into what I knew about consciousness (I knew Einstein remember!). Sadly I had to think of the Sophists as starters. That was sad because the word Sofia means Wisdom and as everyone might know that is what I lack at present. (What would I not give to be wise?) Well that is not here or there. I am going to launch myself into the subject, if it becomes complex from here onwards, you may have to rely on your intellect, a thing which I can’t give you any advice on. Well here we go!

A brief history of the problem of consciousness

The Greek sophists were the first to discern the uniqueness of acts of consciousness in comparison with the material existence of things (A good start, considering everything). Mostly in ancient philosophy consciousness is associated with reason, it seems. We will rely only on the western interpretation here as it is more familiar.

The ancients considered reason to be a cosmic principle, a generalization of the real world. The word reason was also used as a synonym for universal law. By the Middle Ages consciousness was interpreted as a transcendental principle (God). This principle existed before nature and created nature out of nothing. Reason or consciousness was considered to be an attribute of god and the human beings were only given a tiny spark of it. Around the same period St Augustine is said to have remarked that “all knowledge resides in the soul which lives and moves in god”. So to know consciousness one had to look inwards.

This led to the ‘introspective conception’ of consciousness, in Thomas Aquinas it was a means of obtaining deeper knowledge of oneself in communication with god through conscious reason. Man has a conscious soul while plants and animals had unconscious souls.

It is curious to note that the materialist tradition was evident in the Arab thinkers like Ibn Sina at the time. Also in Europe Duns Scouts seems to have proposed a theory that matter could think( some matter can’t as you may probably know).

When we come to Rene Descartes we discover the greatest influence on the problem of consciousness in the modern times. He gave importance to self-consciousness. His definition states that consciousness is the individual’s contemplation of his own inner world. It is a substance revealed only to the subject contemplating it and contrasted with the out side world. To him the soul only thought and the body only moved.

Leibnitz is also worthy of note. He may have been the first to say anything on unconscious mental activity. But the French seems to be the most advanced of all materialists, Le Metterie and Cabanis thought that consciousness is wholly cerebral. This was in the 18th century.

The German philosophers on the other hand appear to be the most thorough of all the Europeans in studying consciousness. Their classical idealism is drab but puts forth compelling ideas on introspective psychology. The German approach took all the aspects of the personality into consideration such as emotional and perceptual faculties and forms and structures of cognition in their definition of consciousness.
They thought that these did not depend entirely on man.( Kant’s theory of transcendental appreciation). Hegel seems to have brought in the historical context of consciousness into thought. But his interpretation remained basically idealistic even then.

Neurophysiology played its part too in defining consciousness. (especially the theory of the Reflectory activity of the brain).Another main stream of thought is that of the Marxists who believe that consciousness arises, functions and develops in the process of people’s interaction with reality.

As in everything else there are two different streams of thought on this one too- The unavoidable idealistic and materialistic positions. While the idealist interprets it on the basis of human soul which is primordial and not subject to anything material, the materialists consider it as an activity of human brain. In fact the later position is more “logical “and appealing. Let us follow them exclusively.

They say that consciousness can not be considered outside of its historical context and in isolation from social life and that it could not have arisen without language and memory. Let us take it as a basic supposition and skip the details for comforts sake.

The Brain and Consciousness in the eyes of a materialist

Human consciousness develops as brain develops. An undeveloped brain (such as mine for instance) results in various forms of mental deficiency, weakness of will etc. The pathological disturbances of the sub cortex causes hysterical fits of anger, fear, and the like accompanied by cries and shrieks (Don’t expect me to comment on this!). Structural damage to the frontal lobes of the brain makes the victim incapable of having or retaining complex ideas or sometimes any stable intentions at all (Hmm). Social, psychological, biochemical, biofield and other such factors might also play an important role in mental disorders

Such deadly branches of medicine like the electrophysiology, neurology, neurosurgery, and neuropsychology have all shown the complex and sophisticated nature of the thing we carry on our heads. The logical and imaginal activity of the brain occurs in the cortex and its folds are supposed to have some connection with the efficiency of the brain. The more the folds the more the complexity (I might have on or two of them at the most I think). Every organ of sense is connected to the brain with a lace work of nerve fibers. When these feelers are exited they cause nervous energy to be transmitted to the cortex. It causes all sorts of reaction in the brain, some of them are Bio chemical, electrical, electromagnetic and neurodynamic (don’t blame me if this is not as thorough as a medico’s treatise. )

The human activity is supposed to be based on several information systems. The genetic system is one, external sensory information- signal system is another. There is said to be also a system which consists of transferring subconscious information between individuals. Some also consider intuition as a cerebral process which might bring in information on future events to us.

Normal mental activity is possible only when the brain is awake and active. This is managed through something called afference (brain’s reception of countless nervous impulses from sense organs). A very cute term “”. If this activity is lacking brain can’t produce any mental phenomena.

Reflectory activity of the brain

We come to Pavlov and the reflectionists now. He showed that conditioned reflexes are formed on the basis of unconditioned reflexes( nutritive, sexual, defensive etc). You ring a bell and serve food to a dog at the same time. Both get associated in its brain. After several repetitions the ringing of the bell is enough to produce the thought of food in the head of the dog (we teach school children on the basis of this principle! No wonder they learn so much in the process).

Refectory activity is said to contain the principle of reinforcement. Reflexes are reinforced by means of feedback. It informs the brain of the function of a certain organs and also its results. The feedback is intended to keep the brain informed of what is going on in system controls.

Where the meterialists and the idealists differ

Plato elevated the soul to the stature of the absolute. As was said earlier too the Christian theology followed this up further and in Descartes the soul achieved independent essence.

Well the materialists on the other hand believes that all mental phenomena is primarily reflective, and that their idealness is only derivative.

Let us see what a surgeon does. He sees the brain as grey matter and not as a spiritual flame. He is confronted with morphological structures and physiological processes. His vision tends to exclude the ideal altogether. But this does not mean that there is no perceptual activity in the brain. The ideal phenomena are the objective content of the nuerophysiological, material process of the brain, reproduced as images or ideas( indeed!). This allows the being to make use of them for the purpose of thought.

There have been attempts to get rid of the ‘ideal’ altogether from the discussion (good idea friend, a very good idea). But this is in error (there it goes!). Consciousness is a realty, but it is not objective reality as some suppose. Can one tell from studying the physiological process of the brain what a person is thinking about, what intentions arise in his mind and whom he loves and hates?( I love you like hell, do you love me at all, my dear?)

Consciousness is always connected with neurophysiological processes and does not exist outside these processes ( a sad thing it is, one can’t even reach out you see, and touch someone near to our heart). But they are not what constitute its essence (viola!). Science might try to reduce mental phenomena to the bio chemical and energy-informational processes of the brain (On a serious note, if reports are to be believed this has already been done, thoughts and even future actions of the individuals can be read and predicted by super computers through scanning brain wave patterns and its electro- magnetic and chemical activities).

But such discoveries will not explain the essence of consciousness. Consciousness is not a super refined motion of matter, but a subjective image of the world. Every perception is colored by the subjective experience of the individual who is having it.( we all carry brush and paint at all times!)

Consciousness and language

Consciousness pre supposes speech as its material reality in the form of gesture, sound, symbols and so on (Utter confusion your honor!). Speech is the material expression of thought. It is done by using words (Oh really? Did not know that, thanks for telling us!).

But we do not convey thoughts by means of words; we evoke similar thoughts in the mind of the listener (that’s what we call interesting!). A word is a unity of meaning and symbol and symbols are the primary instruments of thought. These symbols express a certain meaning indirectly or in a formalized manner (we certainly know about those symbols don’t we?).

Consciousness is always a verbally expressed reflection. If there is no language there can be no consciousness and if there is a thought in our mind it is always contained in a word (You see!), though it may not be the appropriate one (how true!). On the reverse a word can also conjure up thoughts in our minds. In reality language is the element in which thought actually lives.

But is thought possible without speech? Einstein was able to think in more or less in clear images of physical reality: the sea in motion symbolizing electromagnetic waves that can not be visually perceived, physical forces operating in a manner similar to the work of muscles. But this seems to be an exception. Speech is intimately linked with consciousness. (It has been clinically proven that mental disorders have an effect on speech.)

So we can conclude that speech is essential for conscious experience of the world. There is a close connection between the way of thinking and the way of expressing thought. Everything well thought out is expressed clearly and a fine thought is devalued by being poorly expressed (my poor posts!).

Well as you can see, consciousness is all brainy and all else is very grainy.

And finally

There are two kinds of nonsense: One comes from a lack of thought and feeling concealed by words ( me of course!), the other, from an overabundance of thought and feeling lacking the necessary words to express them(me?).

I do not know what you have learned from the post, as for myself, I am still working on it.

The inexactitude of it all

God in heaven, how I love being alive! The amount of shit one has to face up to is unbelievable. It never gets boring for one moment. It starts from the moment one wakes up in the morning. No, not at dawn in my case, god forbid! To be frank, I have never seen a dawn in my life, dusks and desks yes, plentiful, but no dawn as yet.

I had often heard my father dispassionately remark to the visitors at my house.

“Who my son? He usually warms up his butt in the sun before waking up.”

Well raising children can be hard. My father raised five children. He did not need any further divine illumination at all. By the time we all grew up he was a liberated soul. He had all the pros and cons of life fully worked out by then.

The poor man was an early riser. “The early to bed” type. I was a nocturnal being right from the start.

I was born at night, and have some strange affinity to it. I come alive only at the night fall. May be I was Count Dracula in my former life. Some say that Dracula is not dead and is somewhere in a coffin guarded by the gypsies. Perhaps I am him and am still living in a coffin. And possibly it is my astrally projected body that is doing all this, who can tell!

If so, the sorry fact is I can’t do a single interesting thing like Mr. Dracula at all, like crawling up walls on all fours, vanishing like a mist into the thin air, conjuring up thick fogs when needed, controlling the wolves by the packs and deploying them anywhere he wanted and ordering elements of nature around etc. All these would have been nice gifts to have at certain moments in your life. The vanishing act in particular. I know you would also agree on this point- everybody would, friend, everybody would!

Well the only consolation is that I might still be able to drink a little bit of blood even without fangs. But the problem is how do I check whether my victim’s blood matches my own blood group? I can’t carry a medical kit around and politely ask every one I meet:

“My friend can I take a blood sample from you to check whether you belong to my own food source or not?”

Can I? Hardly!

And even in direct blood transfusion the wrong blood gets rejected. I rely on my sweet friends to verify this statement. As to the eternal doubters asking “do not the vampires drink blood directly?” I can only say this:

No my friends, according to my information you are entirely wrong. It is not by digesting blood that vampires live. It’s by injecting it into their veins. That is what keeps the body fresh. A dead body can’t digest anything.

Interesting character Dracula. He must have been a yogi to have such powers over elements- definitely a poor and misguided soul. Yet what is wrong with following any of your inner urges as long as you are satisfied with the results. You can even kill if you want but escaping from the consequences is the toughest part. You can’t have both. Killing and saving your ass for all time. People have tried and failed.

Anyway coming back to dawns, I think the only chance I have of ever seeing a dawn is when I am posted to do election duty. No one can sleep during the preceding night at all, what with setting the booth and swatting flies and worrying about going to the toilet on the morrow in distant and inhospitable nooks and corners of the country. (Some of my colleagues tell me that it is particularly irritating to have the light breeze touching your naked butt in the open. I never had the guts to experiment on those lines. Only the lucky ones get posted in good localities. The sacrifices that we poor civil servants make to uphold democracy!)

As you can see I can’t look at dawn in any aesthetic way at such horrible moments of my life. Even the brightest of dawns would look like the blackest cow’s ass to me then. This is no mere fancy rhetoric. Honest to god, I have seen a black cows ass and that too on a daily basis for some years; we had some cows at home when I was young.

I still remember my uncle trying to milk one of them and being kicked away by it into the dung ditch on the other side of the cowshed. I was standing to one side in the rear and holding her luxurious tail up for uncle to work more comfortably. And of course I was directly looking at the cow’s ass. I missed her tremendous thwack by the proverbial whisker, the leg just scraping mine in its quick karate kick on the crouching body of my uncle.

The cow kicks by throwing her leg just a little forward and back in a lightening motion. It all happens so very quickly that a Red Belt in Karate would fail to notice the actual kick. The effect is deadly. The country cows are small, but have very bad tempers. They intensely dislike some one touching their sensitive parts especially with rough hands like that of my uncle. He applies oil on it in preparation for the milking job, but that had very little effect on his rough concrete palms.

My uncle was a fierce customer too, country born and country bred. He picked himself up from the dung ditch and roaring “You bitch” smashed a flat and heavy plank onto her broad back. It was a mighty and resounding blow. I was rooted to the spot even forgetting to run away. The cow buckled under the smash and knelt down and tried repeatedly to get back on her legs ineffectively. Big tears fell from her eyes. Not a sound had come out of her mouth.

The noise of the blow had echoed through out the entire area and people came running to see what had happened. Some remonstrated:

My god, it’s a mute animal, did you think about that.

Monster, you broke its back.

Well like always I have started on one thing and seems to be nicely progressing to every thing else but that. Perhaps this is a new genre of prose. The inexact variety. Well any way I am not dishing out world literature am I? Perhaps no one is even reading these. Why should they, their own life is filled with enough shit to care for that of others.

As I was saying I dislike waking up in the morning and I am just like anyone else in that case. I know you are surprised. Let me tell you a secret, I am just like you and other people are. I know that it would take some time for you to digest this fact. Yet there it is.

Just before waking up is the most wonderful moment of my sleep. May be now it is the sweet kisses of my wife that is waking me up. But that has little importance. I still love my blissful sleep.

Many others do not bother about sleep at all.

I have seen Doctors work round the clock, no, no I am not kidding, it is the honest truth, and the work they do is great. The other day my mother had a bit of chest pain. I was urgently called to my home in the village at around 1 ‘O” clock in the morning. She thought she was going to die and wanted to see her first born (That is yours truly). It was a chilly night and I had to ride through the chill to my ancestral home. Perhaps it was the chill which saved me form dozing off on my bike.

She was in bed and was in pain. I took her to a hospital near where I am now. When she was admitted it was around 3 ‘O” clock in the morning. There were a lot of preliminaries. Registration admission, payment and what not. Every soul at the hospital was fast asleep and had to be kicked into action. And the duty doctor also had to be woken up to examine the patient; the poor girl was all sleepy. Well it was an untimely hour if there was any.

The duty doctor was not at all sure about her diagnosis. So she called up the MD General Medicine at his home. I can never understand how the guy’s brain functions at that deadly hour especially after being called up. He was precise in his instructions and the duty doctor carried them out. I had no sleep of course; it was my mother who was in pain. But this wonder of a doctor came to the Hospital at 7 in the morning and was on his rounds at about 9 ‘O” clock in the morning, unbelievable. When does the poor bastard sleep?

There are such souls in the world too as against people like me who has to work their butts off from 10 to 5. I am not complaining though.

Some of us have to suffer for well being of others!

Ah! My friend, that is how life is!

Bahusyaam Prajayeti

Ever hear of the Kerala style of development?

(“Development? Did you say development you minion, you dare utter that word again?”

“A terrible blooper, my lord and master, won’t repeat the mistake again; tender my humble apologies to the mademoiselle!”).

Well that aside, we are master developers here in this Gods own Country. We are not interested in developing anything other than human resources. Roads, agriculture, industry well, well, anybody can develop them, even Stalin did so you know! That is why we picked on human resources; it is the toughest thing to develop on. We began at the beginning. Every ward in our villages has an engineering college now. I am wisely refraining from talking about Medical Colleges. That would not do at all.

Well coming back to the theme of development, we have the best literacy rate in the whole world. Even a nonagenarian could trace a sort of a zero with his shaky hand when he has to sign. And if that is not development what is?

There is not the least bit of doubt in my mind that we are totally culturally forward, man woman, boy’s, girls, children, toddlers and embryos. We are what civilization is all about. Do I see some black looks around?

Okay, okay, we occasionally chase a few white madams around; for one thing we need the exercise and for another we have this weakness for soft white flesh. People have weaknesses you know, people are not gods! But that in no way grants the madams the right to say that we are like the Latino’s in this regard. The holy fact is that we won’t be second to none.

Ever hear of a Latino chasing any one from the sea shore to the nearest police station some miles away? Some very spirited souls among us made certain tourists do that, a wonderful sight to see too, can you beat that? You dream, you virtually dream.

Yet the detractors would say anything to castigate us. Would you believe it?

Our development does not end there.

We have the best man/woman ratio in India. For every thousand girls we only produce 950 males. In the rest of the land it is the other way round- 950 girls for 1000 men. (You see the point don’t you? That ‘thousand’ is a magical figure) we take very special care of the womenfolk here, chasing white madams notwithstanding (a mere fancy).

Unfortunately that rate did not help me when I was trying to find a wife in the old style of our arranged marriages. You can be sure there is a lot going for the arranged marriages that most westerners know nothing about. It is like bringing two different continents together. Both unexplored. As you explore each other you become familiar with the hidden tracts and hillocks that are within the territories.

Familiarity breeds contempt you think? You don’t have to worry about that at all, before that happens some other “unfamiliar’s” in the guise of your offspring would emerge from god knows where. From then onwards it is bloody hard work you know, to get to know these aliens, changing diapers is the easiest part.

When all is said and done we are the best developers that there is. Our development of the human resources is “exponential” to say the least and we make use of them intelligently. There is a trick involved in it as you can see.

We mostly export our human wares to the distant lands. Some call it the “Brain Drain”. They are woefully wrong. For one thing there are not many brains to drain off. For another this is the kind of colonization we have decided upon, we have been over run by all sorts of people for centuries. This is our form of revenge. We shall continuously produce and export our racial strains to all parts of the globe and even in to the lunar regions. It is a shrewd and well thought out plan.

As stated in the Eithereya Upanishad our racial unconscious has decided:

“Bahusyam Prajayeti”

I shall produce many; I shall populate the world so that soon there will be Indians all over the globe. All the future presidents of the US would be from our race. We will run the European Union, and the Down Under and the Latin America, our Hindi movies are currently subjugating the African people and the only thing we have to do is to really take over there.- We have absolutely no doubt about these.

The Chinese pose a problem we know. Well we are thinking on it. Their civilization is as old as ours; they might be on the same line of expansion too, but we are in with a slight advantage, we look somewhat similar to the Caucasians don’t we, though a little dusky in our skin color?

We are currently banking on it. The Chinese are ancient, but they are indebted to us for their Kung fu, for it has definite ‘Kalari’ connections. We can infiltrate intellectually in that way and take over.

But they are particularly humorless and that’s gonna be a big problem. I have some evidence to prove it.

There is this real life incident of a Malayali in China. He was a state guest, and was provided with a guide. The guide told him that he would be at the hotel at sharp some “O” clock to take him around Beijing. The ever humorous Keralite replied:

“Now that would be impossible you see, I have some other engagements at that particular hour!”

The poor Chinese man was flabbergasted. He was almost into tears. Trains began to travel at high speeds through his brain. It meant he had to reschedule everything and he was not allowed to reschedule it. Fearing that the poor man would have an apoplectic attack the Keralite relented and told him that he was being kidded.

With tears in his eyes the Chinese guide begged of him not to tell a joke without a fair warning in advance. Like:

“My dear friend, I am going to tell you a joke now. Get ready to laugh”

Well, could be a good practice too, at least in my case! But how are you going to take over a nation without a humorous bone in it?

A real problem it is!

The business of shaking them up

My sworn opponents have put me under a microscope from the very start.

Now I have put them under the microscope of a sort too. Not very visibly of course, but they are starting to feel the pressure. They are seeing phantoms from the past. Well this is not a one way ticket all the same. They have their techniques too. But at present they are a little less confident.

The problem is they have learned the techniques from books or from the west. But the Indian social milieu is so characteristically different from that of the west. Ours is a loose and colorful society. More effort is needed in this land to enact an ‘incident’ on a subtle scale. For instance the street theater. This can easily be done in the west. People generally do not mind others if they do not know each other socially. But in India it is not all that easy. It might elicit suspicion of other elements. Not all of them can be taken care of too.

You just can’t really imagine the dangers involved in such a situation. The poor preps might get man handled if they raise suspicion of any of the segments of the populace. People are divided on many fronts in this land, castes, communities, political party’s sectarian interests, a wide spread and developing underworld, and local interest groups. Every sect has different and violent groups within them. It is not easy at all. It could be dangerous to be caught in a cross fire.

This has been slowly entering into their one track minds. Their methods are failing of late. May be they were over confident about their initial success because of the lack of resistance on my part. The animosity they generated was considerable in the beginning phases. Because you are totally unfamiliar with the phenomenon you are stunned by the antagonistic reaction of people unknown to you.

I was a pretty overassertive person from my younger days. No one has yet stood up to me when I was in that kind of mood. I have curbed this tendency a lot since. But I can turn it on if I want. It is real bad habit. But it has its uses. You need to have absolute faith in yourself and unquestionable belief that your words would be obeyed to do that.

When I caught on to their game of belittling me with the help of others among the general public it was easy for me to take them to task. I just had to be brash and authoritative against any one I met anywhere. It has its drawbacks, but generally even the most confident of all people submit to sheer personal authority if it is exercised unquestionably. Most people would not dare to confront some one who seems to have his way wherever he is. It would create doubt in their minds.

You can stare them down. They would alternately go pale and red in the faces when that happens. There is some thought and imagination involved in the process too. You have to brutally impose your personality on them. Your words have to carry meanings that would make them squirm. Even the man with the greatest will would waver if you face them square on without allowing them to wander. In a social confrontation every man is alone with his adversary. Brutally challenge their courage; they would have to face you. If they run from it that feeling of having come second best would always stay with them. Fear would enter their hearts. It requires real strength to stand up against some one who is steadfast.

Like in everything else in life, a little play acting is involved in this too. It might engender a lot of animosity in those you are taking to task. But that would be the case even if you do not do it. Even the thickest skinned perp would flinch if you compliment them on their general demeanor. They would lose face and would have to meekly swallow your words. They can’t show their animosity outside, for it would give them away and all their arguments against you would fall through.

Hence if you know who your enemies are, shake them up real hard. There is nothing wrong in love and war.

KARUPPACHAN TO THE RESCUE.

Lord, how the world goes round and round. It is all because of Karuppachan. You do not know him do you? He is the loveliest soul in the world. Do you still have any doubt about it? Don’t, that is sacrilege, blasphemy, you can’t doubt Karuppachan of all people.

Karuppachan is an institution, no no, he is a bloody revolution it self. He has some connection with revolutionaries and that is but natural, for Karuppachchan is a sublime revolutionary soul, he is all for China. Not that china is bad. Some say it is the greatest penitentiary in the world. Only those magnificent souls send to this planet to purge their evil deeds once and for all take birth in that blessed of all lands.

Our Karuppachchan should have been one such sublime soul. But there was an error in the other world records. He was send to India accidentally. Talk about extreme bad luck, the poor soul!

Guys, you just can’t think Karuppachan out. He is not any one you meet every day. He is a pilot of a Government vehicle. Do you think that is a small achievement? You can guess again. He is immortal; he has no parallel in the world, no not even in the cyber world with its denizens of paid perpetrators.

Did I hear some one calling him gross? Do not ever do that. That would not describe him in any manner. He is the loveliest bit ever generated by a woman’s womb. At the moment of his birth there was word from god “This darling would one day become a pilot of a Government vehicle and would stay in it with a running court case”

Well the early years of our protagonist was not very promising. He did not like school; he never thought much of it. What has schooling to do with a man’s life, what can it make a man do? Nothing, nothing at all. We could not agree more. Some of our educated lot is better off without it. They take all their garbage into the bigger world and display it to the general public now and then, like yours truly.
In this world, upright citizens like our Karuppachchan are a must and it is the very mustard seed of life.

Now Karuppachan has this habit of acting out. He can’t be blamed for it for if you do not sit in your chair what will happen, surely the dog will place its butt on it. I know I know, in the west the dog is king, no one would dare to utter anything about it. But in this land it is different. We are the poor mans democracy, we live like or worse than dogs in the land. How we envy those dogs which have palaces built for them and are fed the sweetest of things in the world.

Well that is another matter altogether. Karuppachan has this habit of showing himself off, he shall never be contained. He has to speak out as if his main obligation is to his vacant thoughts. You know what happens to a jar which is empty. Some one finds it and pours anything they think of in it. It is the most natural of all things in the world. The sorry thing is that none in the world can find anything to pour other than their primordial shit in it when they find a vacant pot. Well their own shit is wonderful to every one. No amount of arguing would be of use in this case. For that is that.

Our sublime Karuppachan’s fate is not any different. He does not know the ideas inside that wonderful head of his are placed there by cruel people. He thinks that every thing that comes out of his lovely mouth is of the most delightful of all utterances in the world. Just prod him now and then, there he starts to open the dams of great verbosity that he has under his control. What if that is spurious and what if they are soaked in the purest filth, they are his reactions to the world. He has great lung power too. People generally quake when they listen to it.

Did yours truly quake too? Do you have to ask, I go in mortal terror of the great man. Every time I hear him speak, I rue the moment I thought of creating this world, I was totally in error in doing that. I could have fashioned the world without Karuppachchan. But that is nor here or there. I created the universe and placed Karuppachchan in it. Now as some of the gods in the India who had done similar nonsensical deeds I am running for my life too. There is no sign of an escape route from Karuppachan.

Did you ask what he was doing with his mouth as he has to do the job by holding on to a wheel? Well I am at a loss to say. He is always at where he was not required. He should be in the car at all times. But he is the general public too. Who is to prevent him from entering any office and speaking out loud? There are no rules against it, is there.

There is this misconception that a driver can not be great, I do not know how it originated. Can you imagine the ‘luggage’ he deposits here and there sometimes? I never had the opportunity to be one of his passengers. I think I am soon going to be one. I live in great dread now. I am not going to be the greatest of his passengers. There are always others. They are truly intellectuals and those who turn the wheel of society. Talk about the ‘company you keep’! Don’t you know about a thing called reflected glory? The more exalted your fellow travelers are, the more notable you are. You know, it reflects on your personality. Thus the secrets that the man knows and is familiar with could be startling.

No wonder he is so full of himself at all times. There is this Language conference that I have to attend by the orders of my dear boss. He is to carry me to the destination. He would certainly go on leave for the day. For the man loves me so dearly that he would not stop barking from that moment he see me onwards. He is such a faithful dog of Pappedathy that he has no eyes for anyone nowadays. Not that I have done anything against the great man. I handle all his service matters and have not been lax in processing them. But he is not bothered. He believes that the money he is being paid comes right out of the pockets of pappedathy. Papedathy holds the charge of the official vehicle for the time being. And he has the right to alter the records in any manner too.

Say Karuppachan has served for only that many days in a month as a temporary hand; as if by magic it would become something else in Pappedathy’s hands. No, don’t imagine that I am out to cheat the (great) poor man, with a family to feed, out of some money. Let him live by all means. But why should he bark at every time he set his eyes on me? The reason of course seems to be the great love affair between me and Pappedethy. We would not sleep without thinking dearly on each other.

Such love can not but elicits reactions in a deeply indebted soul like Karuppachan. Why has he been given a mouth? Well to defeat the enemies of his benefactress, can any one blame him for it? It is simple logic (two terrible words that I am prohibited from using by the knowing.). Anyway we can’t relate all tales of Karuppachan at one go. I might have to reflect deeply on it before venturing into the most abstruse of all subjects.

That is if the poor guy does not kill me out right for this. Well he can’t read and write, but Pappedathy can. My one consolation is that Pappedathy would embellish, and strengthen, and enlarge on my theme before he ever relates it to the immortal Karuppachan. I would certainly like to watch his face after this event. His normal composure and penetrating intellect would be under tremendous strain to emerge for some time I think.

A Few Rants

Chandrayaan

None would believe seeing them that they were the persons behind the unmanned Indian expedition to the moon. Most of them are from the state of Kerala in India. They are not well known in the state even. But they wouldn’t mind that. They are the unassuming sort.
The Indians were the fourth national team to have achieved the feat of sending something successfully to the moon.
Being fourth to do it is not very important. But being able to do it in this land is nothing short of a wondrous. It showcases the great talent that we have in India. We can’t waste money or resources in this land. If we do so we can’t replace them like the other countries. Hence these gentlemen had to function within severe constraints, financial and otherwise. Those could only be surmounted with brilliance of intellect and self sufficiency in equipment.
I feel proud that we have such people in this land amidst all sorts of bad elements. Their unassuming characters only add luster to their achievements.
Bravo gentlemen, we are immensely proud of you, it is not mere national pride; it is the pride in having the luck to live among you.

On cricket

Many things have happened since I last wrote on the subject. Anil Kumble became the captain of the Indian team, Ganguly was dropped and reinstated, our kid (Srisanth) has suffered an injury and is not in the team now but seems to be having a ball nonetheless with life. A real speedster like Ishant Sharma came into the squad and drove jitters into the irrepressible Ponting. Yuvraj again proved he can’t take on the responsibilities of the test cricket, Piyush Chawla came and went. Gilchrist retired (The man had unbelievable eye for the cricket ball, but the young Indians like Rohit Sharma has taken a leaf out of his book) Mc Grath went and came back to play in 20 twenty proving that he was still good though he had put on some weight.
Sachin was yet finding runs and Dhoni was becoming more assertive day by day.
Now both Kumble and Ganguly have retired from active international cricket-They were great soldiers for our cricket. I remember Bishen Singh Bedi saying on the inclusion of Kumble in test cricket that “We are fielding a lion today” . That was in England. He indeed proved to be a lion (if for his leonine determination for not admitting defeat on any accounts) for the Indian cricket only overshadowed by the great Shane Warne and Muthiah Muralidharan.
He has never been a great spinner of the ball and sometimes disappointed us by his unvarying rhythm. He could never have stayed in the team but for his great dedication and determination. That could be the quality which separates boys from girls if you know what I mean.
I had a liking for Ganguly always. He may not have been the nicest guy around. But he was a good captain. He shaped the Indian cricket into what it is today. I have never seen a better player of spin bowling other than Sidhu. He used really to maul them. This is not easy for an opening bat.
Great players to retire from the scene. They would be replaced by young guns, but many would remember them long afterwards.
Dhoni is having a real ball at the moment, winning every important game that he plays. Let us hope that this streak lasts.
Winning against the Aussies was sweet, even against a depleted side. All in all lot happening on that front.

The Rind

There was news some time ago that the Bollywood actor Rahul Roy (the Ashiquee fame) ventured in to the Hollywood to act in movies. He came back and has won millions of bucks in a reality TV show the other day. Those who were with him including the irrepressible Rakhi Savanth consider him a person very well established within himself.
He could have been a Hollywood star; he was suave and thoroughly westernized. Yet he could not make it. But would that deter other Indians from aspiring for the coveted position of a Hollywood star. No not at all. But not every one has the talent to be such a star has they, so some calls themselves by the name of the coveted actor’s prize in Hollywood to get rid of the itch to become so. One such model citizen is very witty to his own self that every time he opens his mouth people has to run for dear life. The poor guy, he has cornered a job at a place and is heard to be widely used as a melon rind by the bosses. Lord, the things that people have to do to make a living in this world.
The place is run by a family group which is the terror and fear of the locality. You can’t say anything against the group. It is totally run in the traditional feudal mold and they do not take well to criticism. They are currently using some devises to run a subliminal programming on the public. Who knows there could be even the Illuminati behind the scenes?
Such is the wonderful set up that we have here.

On such biscuits that we can’t eat

Well there are biscuits and biscuits. Some of them can not be touched, some are so bad that we need to dig a trench and bury them to get away from the smell. But even that would not eliminate the sickly odor that hangs around.
One such biscuit is enough to defile the world for a millennium, what about discovering more of them together in a box. The whole atmosphere would stink to hell. The smell would assail your senses through every sense organ that you have.
Well the biscuits can’t be blamed of course. They are the result of their makers. The ingredients could be such that they are best left buried.
Yet there are multiple values involved in the production of biscuits. The makers must have selected the vilest of all available commodities to prepare them so remarkably well.
The other day I met one of the makers of the biscuits and the guy illumined me on the necessity of admonishing people. He says that the biscuits have been prepared thus with this intention in mind, that of making people aware of the good things in life. The contrast is supposed to bring it out.
Well we need to applaud the good intention of the makers.
But it is a request on my part, bury the biscuits please, the stench might be useful in determining what is good and bad in life, but why not leave it to the people themselves.
They have good noses otherwise too don’t they?

"Quick, those in fear stand around me"

I have had enough of writing on the ‘deeply’ sentimental for the time being. Human mind is like that; it soon tires of the same stuff and seeks variety (Wow! I have to congratulate myself now. You can’t beat me at it, it seems! ) If there is any thing interesting in life that is this possibility of pursuing different aspects of phenomena that you see and guess around.( have no fear, like always I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about!)

Well any way, in my on going battle with my own total ‘sense’lessness I have had the occasion to study the works of greater sillies than me, namely the philosophers. I would say nothing about ‘mad’maticians. I hold them in holy dread (some have guessed it already). But philosophers other than Bertrand Russell, (Oh how I suffered when I was going through his “An inquiry into meaning and nature of truth!” If that is the name of the book.) are after my own mind.

Some of them are so cute that I often quote them in my own wonderful works of literature and philosophy( in my dreams of course, for I haven’t yet been able to find time to write any, I listen to the FM radio throughout and after the inanities they dish out I am too dazed to think even- they should give me an Oscar or at least some cookies for my perseverance in listening to absolute poppycock they serve); I often think that I might be the answer to the quest of finding a philosophical giant in the present day India. The poor land had produced every sort of magnificent fool in the past and is now suffering from a lack of them. I might be the undisputed leader among the emerging ones.

Every one seems so very intelligent these days. Have any of you looked at the serious faces that we have now. Switch the Idiot box on and watch some discussions on it. Let us forget the stuff that they are discussing, look at those faces and listen to the wonderfully capable way that they express themselves. The other day they were discussing whether there is Hindu terrorism in India. There might be, but the panel and the audience was so wonderfully intelligent that it became suddenly a threat to the ears rather than the society.

Why should there not be Hindu terrorism, there are all other varieties already, it might freshen things up a bit, you know, intolerance is a wonderful feeling. It is like meditation, it excludes everything else from observation. It holds only one truth aloft, the truth about how right you are in believing in the things that you do.

These are all ways to get out from the tedium of being always with your own selves. No one can bear their own company; it is the most terrible of all horrors which could happen to you. Young minds know it the most, they do not now what to do with their lives. They are not provided with any believable aims in life. And after our own struggle for independence and the fall of the soviet block, there is generally an air of disillusionment, a feeling of being cheated by the elders. (God I am pretty good at this shit!)

You can’t blame them if some go after pleasures of all sorts; some goes after mysticism like me in their younger days. And some become goons and some become bigots. I have great compassion for them, they are sincere and honest, they are like children who implicitly believe in whatever they are taught, and what do we teach them really? We teach them platitudes and we firmly believe that these are going to save them in life.

Let me ask you, did these save you from anything at all. Think hard and think true (I can’t do it myself that is why I am asking you to do it), what did you get? You are perturbed I know, you are struggling with your own selves, you can’t give in to the temptation to say that you don’t know. Instead you look me down and earnestly call “Aiappaa, Holy mother of god, Allah, Rabba and inanities like that (You believe that I will rot in hell for saying this don’t you. Well let us see about that! This is what extremism is about. This is the sum and substance of intolerance)). You do not even understand those terms do you? You have never seriously looked at them. They are not really inane in themselves, they become so the moment you utter them without understanding them a bit. You think that they are out there in person to save you from trouble. Even the Marxists have of late taken in to calling Lord God Karl Marx and Bhagavan Engels to the rescue every time they feel at a loss about anything.

These are the times of confusion and disillusionment. Though we all call gods to our rescue, we all would like to be gods ourselves. Yet we never questions our beliefs, we follow orders without thinking about them. There is enough media intervention to make you dumber and more servile. The most learned would find it hard to voice a single original thought. Have you seen the cattle being led to a slaughter house? Most of you are being led so. What about your own holy self you ask? Well I am not any different; I too am being led knowingly and even unknowingly. But I am putting up a stiff resistance to it. The apologists of the system have a bloody fight in their hands.

They may scoff at these words, but the fact is that they are afraid of me; they do not like people who question everything and laugh at them to their faces. They are out to get me and this is no megalomania. Every one is roped in and the word is spread all over the place to watch me. It is not because I am important in any way. It is only because I irk them.

The strangest thing about it is that the left and right and the middle is of one mentality in this regard. Both the devil and the god go hand in this. The devil begins its scoffing by hitting you below the belt and the god begins by banging on your head. The devil projects the images of the bestial and the god tries to disown you intellectually. There is one blemish in their schemes though, as I remarked earlier too. There is no possible way of ousting me from the world, for it would crumble in my absence. Fat words you think? Think hard and think true again, this is no metaphysics as some think. This is the physics of a true nature. Even the most insensitive would have to realize this fact sooner or later.

And yet you think we can teach the young something! The cowardly can not teach any one anything. Well they would not understand it even when it looks them in the faces. They have this wonderful habit of saying.

“Quick those in fear stand around me!”

The “Knowledge Associates”

When the whole world is against you, you can be certain of one thing, that you are “something”. (Ha-ha).

No, really I did not mean it to be a one-liner. It actually is so.

I never expected to be in the middle of great controversies. It happened that way, and I am familiar with it from the day I became conscious of the world around me. It was a foolish world, it was nothing important; it was so totally farcical that one would have to burst one’s gut in laughing at it. Well I could not laugh, because the world has a way of making you its own, it is a sort of take over, when that happens you stop laughing and you start being foolish. This would not be liked by many. They are so terribly serious about everything that they do in their lives. Have you ever watched people going about their business in life, have you ever looked at their faces, have you ever listened to what they are saying?

And?

You can’t laugh still? Well I do not pity you, I can’t laugh too, but there are rare moments when one sees what this fucking thing called life is all about. It is about acting roles with which you can make yourself seriously foolish.

You do not agree? Catch a spare moment and review you own deeds in life, let you be an Einstein ( he is copy right, I know of the sublimely intelligent, yet in this world of names and forms one has to pick on something is it not? ) or any one important, think of the times when you were at your serious best. I promise you, you won’t be able to resist it; you would laugh and laugh till tears pour out of your eyes. Even the cruelest of deeds would look funny and terribly hilarious to you.

Well if you are not able to do that and if you still go about like a piece of concrete which can’t crumble, I should feel really sorry for you.

There is this story in the great Epic Mahabharata (It might not be a great epic to some I know, ancient gibberish of a backward people.

We are the elite are we not? The unquestionably modern, the “knowledge associates”?)

“Yudhishtira” the eldest of Pandavas (His name means “of firm intellect”) had to save his brothers from a demon by answering a number of questions.

One question was:

“What is the most hilarious thing in the world?”

He had no doubts in his mind. He replied:

“People going about their lives smugly while others are dying all around”

The demon released his brothers in that instant. (I was that demon if you want)

[Ancient lore, there is no MC ‘esquared’ in it. There are no “divine permutations” in it. There is no Pythagoras in it. Huh, how revolting, what was this guy Vyasa thinking about? Did he think that he can teach us something, the ultra modern, the invincibly and incoherently intelligent?

The cheek that these ancients had! Well any way buddy, who was this “ysa?”He was not a Stephan Hawking is he; he is not even a Harvard or Princeton graduate.

Is he even a Ramanuja or a Subramaniam Chandra Sekhar? They were not good, mind you, but we have to be charitable to the few sufferable specimens from the Third World.

There are pretences to be kept. We run the world, but we have to be diplomatic about it.

Anyway we have instructed a few of our vassals at that place to keep things in order.

God, these guys have even dared to send probes to the moon, the audacity of it all. Why could not they sit at home and light crackers instead?]

Well as you see there are a few of their vassals around at this land. Some of them are in the business of communication. Certain of these cronies have been very instructive of late. They want me to “look around”. Not bad, not bad at all considering that I am forced into playing a deadly game at present.

Would they consider giving the same advice to others in the land? What about picking on Abhinav Bindra”? The Gold medal winner for shooting in the Olympics? Did you not advice him to look around while he was shooting? Sight-seeing is great when you are trying to concentrate like hell is it not? Probably you have given such advises to all others already. No wonder they look at the spectators and get mutilated.

Couldn’t you get our space scientists to look around? There is the Arabian Sea to deposit all our space crafts isn’t there?

Or perhaps the vassals are having great fun at the non vassals?

This brings us back to our old theme of the great nonsense that life is. The greats in the world would never agree with me there. Being a non -great does not impose on me the responsibility of taking all the greats as holy, like some take real shit from the institutions.

They are welcome to their form and philosophy of life. I can’t and don’t want to interfere. Some want the world to be so monolithic that they are quite unable to take anything else as real. Think of such a world, all perfect and great and lovely. Don’t you feel a shiver passing through your spine thinking about it? A world of light alone with no darkness. What wishful thinking! There has never been such a world. It can’t exist. It is an impossibility.

If you want to live, live fighting a war, either for good or for evil or you can take my line, fighting good and evil at the same time.

I know you feel as if hit by a hammer hearing this. Fighting good and evil at the same time! What…..! Your brain ceases to function; it can’t conceive such a state.

Well you great intellectuals, who are well versed in the ‘mad’ matics of life. I would like to remind you of a mobius (is the word correct I wonder?) strip. Take a thin and long strip of paper, twist it once and paste the two ends together. You get an unending surface without distinct sides.

A paper strip with two distinct sides can become so if a little imagination is used. Well this is the type of twisting is all that is required to see good and evil as the same thing and several things besides.

“Wise” up guys, you are nothing other than what you prefer to be.

Try and know who I AM and be liberated, or always remain in the nether, nether regions of the mind. It does not matter to me where you have pitched your tents for life, come to me, I can save you. There is only one sun in your horizon and that is what I AM. Those glistening apparitions that you see in the dim realm of your mind are not real suns; they are the faint flickers of my real being.

These are not mere words. That which I say goes beyond the pale of all knowledge, don’t be mere “Knowledge Associates” there is no life in it; it leads to death and destitution. Do not look around, look into me. I AM always with you, I AM kind and generous and compassionate learn that I AM the sum and substance of everything.

I AM evil if you want me to be evil, I AM good if you want me to be good, I AM beyond those if you want to become that. I can be anything and everything. I AM in essence is life.

Be as I AM. That way lays the liberation.