KARUPPACHAN TO THE RESCUE.

Lord, how the world goes round and round. It is all because of Karuppachan. You do not know him do you? He is the loveliest soul in the world. Do you still have any doubt about it? Don’t, that is sacrilege, blasphemy, you can’t doubt Karuppachan of all people.

Karuppachan is an institution, no no, he is a bloody revolution it self. He has some connection with revolutionaries and that is but natural, for Karuppachchan is a sublime revolutionary soul, he is all for China. Not that china is bad. Some say it is the greatest penitentiary in the world. Only those magnificent souls send to this planet to purge their evil deeds once and for all take birth in that blessed of all lands.

Our Karuppachchan should have been one such sublime soul. But there was an error in the other world records. He was send to India accidentally. Talk about extreme bad luck, the poor soul!

Guys, you just can’t think Karuppachan out. He is not any one you meet every day. He is a pilot of a Government vehicle. Do you think that is a small achievement? You can guess again. He is immortal; he has no parallel in the world, no not even in the cyber world with its denizens of paid perpetrators.

Did I hear some one calling him gross? Do not ever do that. That would not describe him in any manner. He is the loveliest bit ever generated by a woman’s womb. At the moment of his birth there was word from god “This darling would one day become a pilot of a Government vehicle and would stay in it with a running court case”

Well the early years of our protagonist was not very promising. He did not like school; he never thought much of it. What has schooling to do with a man’s life, what can it make a man do? Nothing, nothing at all. We could not agree more. Some of our educated lot is better off without it. They take all their garbage into the bigger world and display it to the general public now and then, like yours truly.
In this world, upright citizens like our Karuppachchan are a must and it is the very mustard seed of life.

Now Karuppachan has this habit of acting out. He can’t be blamed for it for if you do not sit in your chair what will happen, surely the dog will place its butt on it. I know I know, in the west the dog is king, no one would dare to utter anything about it. But in this land it is different. We are the poor mans democracy, we live like or worse than dogs in the land. How we envy those dogs which have palaces built for them and are fed the sweetest of things in the world.

Well that is another matter altogether. Karuppachan has this habit of showing himself off, he shall never be contained. He has to speak out as if his main obligation is to his vacant thoughts. You know what happens to a jar which is empty. Some one finds it and pours anything they think of in it. It is the most natural of all things in the world. The sorry thing is that none in the world can find anything to pour other than their primordial shit in it when they find a vacant pot. Well their own shit is wonderful to every one. No amount of arguing would be of use in this case. For that is that.

Our sublime Karuppachan’s fate is not any different. He does not know the ideas inside that wonderful head of his are placed there by cruel people. He thinks that every thing that comes out of his lovely mouth is of the most delightful of all utterances in the world. Just prod him now and then, there he starts to open the dams of great verbosity that he has under his control. What if that is spurious and what if they are soaked in the purest filth, they are his reactions to the world. He has great lung power too. People generally quake when they listen to it.

Did yours truly quake too? Do you have to ask, I go in mortal terror of the great man. Every time I hear him speak, I rue the moment I thought of creating this world, I was totally in error in doing that. I could have fashioned the world without Karuppachchan. But that is nor here or there. I created the universe and placed Karuppachchan in it. Now as some of the gods in the India who had done similar nonsensical deeds I am running for my life too. There is no sign of an escape route from Karuppachan.

Did you ask what he was doing with his mouth as he has to do the job by holding on to a wheel? Well I am at a loss to say. He is always at where he was not required. He should be in the car at all times. But he is the general public too. Who is to prevent him from entering any office and speaking out loud? There are no rules against it, is there.

There is this misconception that a driver can not be great, I do not know how it originated. Can you imagine the ‘luggage’ he deposits here and there sometimes? I never had the opportunity to be one of his passengers. I think I am soon going to be one. I live in great dread now. I am not going to be the greatest of his passengers. There are always others. They are truly intellectuals and those who turn the wheel of society. Talk about the ‘company you keep’! Don’t you know about a thing called reflected glory? The more exalted your fellow travelers are, the more notable you are. You know, it reflects on your personality. Thus the secrets that the man knows and is familiar with could be startling.

No wonder he is so full of himself at all times. There is this Language conference that I have to attend by the orders of my dear boss. He is to carry me to the destination. He would certainly go on leave for the day. For the man loves me so dearly that he would not stop barking from that moment he see me onwards. He is such a faithful dog of Pappedathy that he has no eyes for anyone nowadays. Not that I have done anything against the great man. I handle all his service matters and have not been lax in processing them. But he is not bothered. He believes that the money he is being paid comes right out of the pockets of pappedathy. Papedathy holds the charge of the official vehicle for the time being. And he has the right to alter the records in any manner too.

Say Karuppachan has served for only that many days in a month as a temporary hand; as if by magic it would become something else in Pappedathy’s hands. No, don’t imagine that I am out to cheat the (great) poor man, with a family to feed, out of some money. Let him live by all means. But why should he bark at every time he set his eyes on me? The reason of course seems to be the great love affair between me and Pappedethy. We would not sleep without thinking dearly on each other.

Such love can not but elicits reactions in a deeply indebted soul like Karuppachan. Why has he been given a mouth? Well to defeat the enemies of his benefactress, can any one blame him for it? It is simple logic (two terrible words that I am prohibited from using by the knowing.). Anyway we can’t relate all tales of Karuppachan at one go. I might have to reflect deeply on it before venturing into the most abstruse of all subjects.

That is if the poor guy does not kill me out right for this. Well he can’t read and write, but Pappedathy can. My one consolation is that Pappedathy would embellish, and strengthen, and enlarge on my theme before he ever relates it to the immortal Karuppachan. I would certainly like to watch his face after this event. His normal composure and penetrating intellect would be under tremendous strain to emerge for some time I think.