To tell you the truth, I have been very rushed lately. Everything was in a flux. I was not thinking, I was responding Instinctively and that was not good. It is not that I did not have anything to think about. I had, but I could not think at all! (As if he could ever!) I felt numb, dissipated and enervated. Really, what was I concerned about? I actually do not know. Am I such a great enthusiast for life?
Hardly. Life to me is something to be suffered. The only point is that it can not be suffered in silence. I do not see a reason that we should suffer it so. Yes I know, shouting is not going to lessen the pain, but it might relieve us from the tedium of worrying about it without stop. (What is he talking about?)
We do not have to be like this. Can’t we be something else? Can’t we act as if we know something about life even though we do not? (My, being wise is tough!) We are always very serious about life. (Be serious man, be very serious!) Why is it so? What is there to be so serious about life? Nothing at all. (So you now think dear, let a thorn prick you, you will holler like hell!) We are here because certain circumstances created us. (You know what that is don’t you?) We had no control over them. (How true!) We really have no control over anything in life or death. Let me ask you when was the time you felt sure that the morrow would bring that which you expected. It never happens. You are always unsure about such things. And this is the truth about life. (The guy is crazy about the word truth, it seems!)
We can’t take anything for granted in this life. But certain souls do think that they can do it. At this very moment I hear some of those wise guys talking behind me. And they are not any wiser for their wise talk. Why do people do it? Are they completely numb or are they trying to make others numb by their worthless prattle. You can’t take life without a pinch of salt. (Another of his favorite expressions, does it have iodine in it?)
In truth life is not very beautiful as some make it out to be. No, I can’t believe that life has any beauty at all when there are such unimaginable things like people dying of hunger and thirst in the world. When innocent people is being put behind bars, when there are terrible epidemics and disasters with which we can not do a simple thing. No I am not ready to think that the world is good or efficient or helpful. It has always been like this, bad, really bad to the core. Yet some people are always ready to call it wonderful. This is some kind of wishful thinking and nothing else.
I think (ha-ha) we are between two worlds. In one we sort of hold sway, that is, in our personal world. In the other we face the outer world. And it is a very brutal world. It is the most vicious kind of world that you can imagine. And we face this world all the time, and we are mostly bruised by it. We wonder why this is so. We often think ourselves separate from the world. Then emotions take over. When that happens we can’t think straight and we wont be able to assimilate anything. We would be angry, dispirited, troubled and frightened. But there are other types of reactions too. They are more mature but may not be emotionally acceptable. (Snigger)
But what is wrong with the emotional reaction to the world (Indeed!)? If we are trying to live by the brain alone we would not be able to live it any way pleasantly. That is to say our aesthetic life would not be quite as healthy as it is now. But some say that intellectual life is more important for it has been the only reliable thing we had all these millions of years. It took us out of the barbarism and brought us towards civilization. It brought forth science. It built all that we see now. It has been the most precious of all the assets of mankind. So it should be enough to bring us light. (Man, you have it coming!)
Some of my sworn opponents are on the part of brains and others are on the part of brawns. They are sublimely above all feelings.
At this moment I can not decide which is good. I am too tired to do that now. I might become enlightened all of a sudden and discover the truth about them.
Though I am stingy when it comes to sharing such info, I might, I just might let you in on it too.
Wait for the revelations.
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