It’s been sometime since I have been here, yet it was not because there’s nothing to tell, there is a lot, but I was not up to it. Sheer apathy had hit me, and hit me hard. What can one do, there are times when you feel the futility of it all, the utter uselessness of speaking out, because the muck never gets any thinner, the darkness never gets any lighter, the smell never disperses and the sticky horror never stops playing.
You know what hopelessness is? It is the feeling of utter disinterest in what happens around you due to the unbelievable predictability of it. I shudder when I think about it. But the ‘ingenious’ around me laps it up like nectar. May be they are programmed to do so. Or maybe they are born like that, with a propensity to revel in the cesspool and boast about it.
So why break the silence?
Well sometimes your patience starts to wear very thin and you start remembering the sort of horrors that you daily mingle with. The more you try to curb it the more violent the desire arises to trample them underfoot and kick them into to the deepest regions of outer space ( both at the same time), so that the world would be finally rid of the scum. I am no father Damien to go and live in a leper’s hell and think that the Lord would recompense me for it, by recording how the disease spreads and being compassionate about it.
I might believe that other than the great abhorrence that I feel for the insensitive idiots that calls themselves intelligent, I have no other traits that distinguishes me from other specimens of humanity that is out there. But sadly that is not the case although it’s enough trouble too. I hate the whole moral climate that’s created by the apathy people shows towards things in general. “The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference.”
(Bess Myerson)
Take for instance the way some ‘intelligent’ colleagues of mine tries to spend people’s money (it drives me mad), it’s beyond belief.
I told you about the grub-governance the other day. My telling did not make it stop. They are still actively at it and learning things that they never intend to use in their life time. How I abhor the whole idiotic set up! But what can one do about it. Nothing, nothing at all. When something good is turned into a terrible farce you are helpless and terrified. You begin to feel that all this is meant to be so.
At least it’s the governments training policy and the government can’t do anything about the congenital idiocy that its officials possess. But can it do something about the blatant misuse of public funds it puts in to the hands of its ‘efficient and ever obedient servants’? But is there any use in saying so?
“Well, if we can’t cheat people out of a cool million bucks per annum, what’s the use of calling ourselves officials? Did not Ashleigh Brilliant say “I want either less corruption or more chance to participate in it”. We do it whole heartedly, as corruption is the universal law. You see, there has not been a single institution that’s not corrupt in the entire history of humanity (In a particular land). If the general public is unaware of the fact, we should be sorry for them. But that shouldn’t influence us in our thinking.
Guys, we have our own lives to look after, we can’t come to the office and engage ourselves in activities that benefit the general public. We need to take our children to our schools, we need to build a home for ourselves, and we need to satisfy the needs of our families. We need to go to clubs and dance and party all day long. Tell us, where is the time to get to office and do anything to make the lives of the people better?
Charity begins at home! Let us first make ourselves rich and then think about the universe.”
