Hot Seats

I am not any the less angry about the things at workplace. It’s like a mortuary out here. Seats and desks sit all alone and the visitors gape around in consternation. Fans revolve, lights are always on, but the bright and pussy footed stuff who are called government functionaries are always in discussion or is deemed to be in discussion, (you know, that’s what you hear when you ask the rare apparition of an officer in the vicinity). You would wonder just what this arcane discussion is about. If you want to know, it’s about their children’s education and spouses operation.

If you ask me what public interest is there in it, I am as at sea as you are about it. But there is one thing, all these stalwarts in service imagine that they are the sum and substance of the world and hence, naturally it has to be assumed that their affairs are real big affairs in public interest.
Strangely, there are many such birds around and they naturally have to flock together. I once over heard the conversation between these guys. Well it’s nothing short of wonderful. None of them are replying to what the others were holding forth on. They were all having a one way communication and were talking about their own individual affairs without heeding what the other person was saying.

It was extremely interesting. They just don’t mind the others prattling on. But the problem was, none of them has ever shown the same kind of enthusiasm to sit in their seats. But then there is no self interest in being at the seat is there? There is only public interest and as everybody knows the government servants would not come within the scope of public interest.

I am hoping that some light would enter into their sad pates

The Dolts lost it to Mizoram

You know what angry is? If you don’t, then you don’t know the state I am in. This anger has to do with the horror of a state football team that we have in Kerala and the absolute incompetents running it. I wouldn’t deny it, I am a sports buff, and I am the kind of guy who goes for the sports page first thing in the morning. And I am not ashamed of it.

You see there are different types of people out there in the world. All tries to make sense out of this strange adventure that we call life. Some do it with brains, some with heart and some with their body. There are infinite gradations within these three streams of approaches. Those who aim to make something of the life on the level of the body would range from classical dancers to shovelers (don’t take it lightly, I mean it in all seriousness. I see no difference between the highest intellectual and the lowest menial in the scale of things in life. Both are in the same boat. It doesn’t mean because I wear a perfume and the other one smells of his sweat that one has discovered and would discover something grander in life that the lowly grave.).

So to me games are an expression of human spirit and I revere it like I revere the plays of Shakespeare. Any exhibition or real excellence and strength in any field capture my attention. Also I have been a bit of a sportsman a long time back, so it’s in my blood too. I have never played football seriously though. But I love the way they dance around in the field. May be it has originated from playing around with heads cut off from human figures. But that doesn’t matter; it’s a beautiful game now. Flowers bloom out of the filthiest stretches of land.

And the dumb sons of bitches of my land used to play this game well. Even those who were totally useless otherwise in our land turned out to be good footballers and did well in the international arena. And then there were the Sharaf Ali’s, Sathyans, and Vijayans occasionally. Even when these aces refused to play for the state the others did well every time. They did not require any coaching, they flowered all over the thin strip of a land we call our home state. They learned the game by the help of pure imagination.

They might stammer every time one asked them anything. But on the ground they played their stolid game (it was not the one-touch football of the greats, it was the old fashioned stop and pass game, but they were good at it and the game had stood the test of time) Never once had we to play the qualifiers to get into the final rounds of the Santhosh Trophy. Last year it happened.

We thought the stupes would have learned their lesson by now. But they did not. The team scraped through to the Quarterfinals and fell before Mizoram. I am livid, I can’t speak at all, I am angry to the core, not that the Mizoram wasn’t a better side this time; they were and is a good side. But our idiots could have done better. It’s no use blaming conditions and blaming poor form. They just were not interested enough. Instead of playing the bums under the threat of pay cuts from the clubs they have joined, the bunch of imbeciles called the selectors should have looked to the young who are around and playing. If they had failed it would not have been such a mishap as this one.

But the “know all’s opted for the ‘trusted’- the trusted and talented my foot. There are no more good players in the land. I am not merely bothered about the defeat; I see darkness in the horizon. None are interested in the game anymore. The game, once the life throb of the state, is dying. And no one is bothered about it. When a good thing is lost, other things too begins to wane. Where is the famous edge and fierce pride of the keralites? The duds used to play a highly vocal and confident game. It was the best in the land, where is the talent now? We have always been a good at all sports. Now every other state is gaining ground.

It’s not merely the failures; it’s the attitude that I fear most. I am not a narrow “sons of soil” type. But I like to see things kept at the level they are, when they start to recede it’s time to find the culprits and kick them out.

Do it immediately guys, this can’t go on.

Grub Governance

Currently all the exemplary Officers in my establishment are off to learn E Governance en masse. Yes, you heard it right- to learn nothing but E Governance! Do they know what the E stands for? They invariably do, it stands for Eat! There is gourmet food available round the clock at the training centers. Would anyone want to miss it? You dream.

By now the certificates they have amassed (there is training every other week) would be numerous enough to roof a medium sized house. None of these certificates are attained by effort. They are given to these adventurers for free. The institute has to save its face doesn’t it? Those who instruct these are aware of their infinitesimal intellects and pays reverence to them by passing them in the Divine Grade ( D)

Like always, it was my good luck to nominate them for the useless exercise. They have been given all kinds of training in the past and to tell you the truth, none are any the less proud of their wonderful ignorance. It’s catching.

Anyway, the air is much less polluted now; one can breathe freely, thank God! And yes, they do try to foul things up from afar by calling others up by phone. But you know they can’t be otherwise, one has to show ones good breeding every now and then, don’t one?

And they are using ICT, by using their phone’s to boot, though they don’t know what it is!

ICT? What ICT? Is it ‘icy tea’ or cold coffee? Then we will have some. We all like cold coffee. No, it’s not that ? Then what could this damn ICT be?

After a laborious churning of brains they would burst out in enthusiasm “Oh, ICT, got it, I Come First” (and my fambli too)”, and they would be beaming.

Who bothers about improving the efficiency and effectiveness and service delivery of the government through the use of information technology! What you talking about man, we only know enough technology to switch on and switch off our cell phones. That’s enough for us and our friends. We have post paid connections.

What other information is needed? If people want information they can phone us and the information would be supplied promptly, provided that there is enough of you know what! Or they can phone our driver, he is the go between……whenever we are in trouble, we call the driver. He knows more ICT than any of us, and then there are true ICTS among our class four comrades.

As to training for food, that’s our birth right!

No doubt in these trainings there is “Wider participation” of officers to information about the food available and they are all “food intensive organizations”, you see “food is power and (that) power is political”.

Well of course they would learn some catch words likeG2C, G2B by hearsay and bandy it about. What I can’t simply suffer is the strange and thick skinned attitude of these immortal idiots and their self satisfied smiles when they talk of it. I am sure that it would drive me up walls.

But what to do, one has to live among all kinds of stuff.

Sadly the good intentions of the government are always put to waste by these no good, petty egotists…. Such is the sad fate of our polity.

It’s said that E Governance could enable

Good governance
Trust and Accountability
Citizen's awareness and empowerment
Citizen's welfare
Democracy
Nation's economic growth

Etc. And we are teaching it to guys who look at a computer keyboard in great enmity and fear. If you think upon it you would not be able to stop laughing as long as you live.

Trouble

Well, my god! How I like it here now! Its cold, its hostile and I am in the midst of certain spineless specimens who like to play with women up front! They would remain in the back, safely shielded by their pet amazons. These girl wonders recite the script taught to them verbatim, by their “close’ friends. They are a little inexperienced now, but are being taught and trained by their masters into good performers.


Though this proves their total lack of guts on the part of the cowardly friends of the fiery dames, it has its disadvantages for me. One can’t fight against women, not because these are anything in the line of honorable ones, but one just can’t. It doesn’t seem worth the effort or interesting enough. When all is said and done, women would remain women, there is little to be gained by going against them.

I have been in many such official skirmishes, I have even faced dames spitting fire at me before, but such concerted efforts to attack me on the part of the women is a new occurrence. In previous such encounters, there may have been some fault on my part as well, being a bit strict and temperamental if something goes wrong with work or procedure, but on this occasion, I am innocent of any offense. I have tried my very best to be equanimous in all situations especially with the weaker sex ( I know there are feminists around in the world and they would rise hell hearing this. But in this case I am right in saying so. Their very line of attack is to exploit the ‘weaker sex’ angle and thus ward of any reactions from my side).


Just what exactly is wrong with these dames I can’t gather! I may not be the young and smart flatterer anymore, but I am still a decent human being, I don’t accidentally bump or brush (god forbid!) none of the young or old things who are around as some young lady killers do. I know this is a disadvantage, women like things a bit dirty, they like those hanging around them, and those saying silly but pleasing things to them, but unfortunately, I just can’t do that anymore.


It just don’t seem worth the effort, oh, I know in one way it is worth it, you would gain their favor and there are certain benefits with that in every field ( the weaker sex can’t be denied, you know, if they asks for a favor for someone else, that’s always granted by the “stronger sex”. They say many have advanced in life in that way. Unfortunately, I can’t be one of them). But to me such shortcuts are always abhorrent. I may be a little proud, but that came with the packing and I can’t do a thing about that.

So here I am enjoying the wrath of a number of amazons for some cause I know not. By the look of it they are going to suck me in through their noses. I just don’t know what to do. How do you manage a pretty antagonistic group of wenches assisted by the cowardly? If anybody has any views on the subject please let me know

The slaves and the masters

The human emotional element is full of surprises. None can predict how it would react to situations. Perhaps this is the one thing that makes life worthwhile to live-the unpredictability of this subtle part of our nature.

But the shrewd have always managed to reduce it to certain forms that are either linked to our desire for survival or our need to love, both these primary desires encompass the whole spectrum of our actions, sometimes they intersperse and are quite indistinguishable from each other.

What we call feelings is the result of perceptions about our right to exist and to get-together. When these primary rights are denied or even subjected to pseudo denials we react. Honestly it is a sight to see. We often contrive to cut at the very root of what we are trying to protect in the effort. Strange is it not? But sadly this is the truth about the life.

It has always been my belief that most people lack real freedom to act and is controlled by a few. This is not a fantastical notion. Anyone who has studied the history of the evolution of the species would have to admit this more or less. Most of us have no real courage to think and act for ourselves; we would rather be led than venture to lead others. One needs to have some real iron in ones heart to take on that responsibility.

As I said earlier there are people who know this fact about the human-animal and makes use of it for their own benefit. They are strong where the others are weak; they are purposeful where the others are aimless. These people have been called the leaders. They invariable are the most terrible crooks in the world- every one of them- and I am not joking.

Once they rise to power either accidentally or otherwise they manipulate the rest towards those ends that they have unilaterally invented or discovered. These ends are just a cover to their real aim- that of enjoying the sadistic pleasure of humiliating the rest of the humanity and proving to them that they are superior. No real gains have resulted from their efforts. All that they build or supposedly cause to build are really an effort to gain more control and only caters to their own egos and nothing else.

These are the most selfish among the human race and unfortunately the strange flaw in our system makes us accept them as they are, even knowing their deficiencies. They, though, could be our lethal enemies, always manages to act or force us believe that they are our real saviors!

Yet they also know that one can’t control the slaves without fabricating a delusion of freedom in their hearts. This is done by a dose of permissivism; they are allowed to act-out their basic urges in respect of certain things once in a blue moon (one has to keep up the pretense that there is freedom in the world!)- Hence you are allowed to piss on the public roads in broad daylight and get away with it sometimes. You can also hurl stones or bottles against the law enforcers and put fire to everything in the vicinity on other rare occasions.
This is an effective method of control too. It directs the animal energy to harmless areas and saves the masters the trouble of pacifying their slaves with words or deeds.

We will talk more about this as we go along!