A Proposal

My recent brashness has brought on a blood curdling attack from our fierce perpetrators. They are always at phones, both the male and female of the species, spewing obscenities on me in the loudest of voices. But how do I know this, could they not be talking to others. Well my dear friends, you don’t call names inside an official establishment repeatedly in the loudest of voices.

You can go out there are no rules against it, that is what people do when they have to say something indecent on a cell phone. You move out of ear shot and let go.

Well that would not apply when you are attacking someone on the sly would it?

They probably are not even talking to anyone. That’s the good thing about a cell phone. No one would know if you are talking to anybody at all. The schizophrenics could go unnoticed in society now if they have a cell phone with them. They can talk all they want till the itch to talk is over.

I have discontinued using cell phones, so I do not have the option of retorting in kind even if I could, I have my doubts on it. A former military hand is especially belligerent on the phone. He seems to have learned almost all the vulgar words by heart in his former service. I am sure that the enemy would take to their heels if this guy is fielded even without firing a single shot at them.

All this takes place inside a government establishment! But this is only the minor part. You can ignore the braying of the asses if you chose. But matters do not end there.

They have spread the attack outwards into the society now. I wonder at the resources these guy have. It seems to be never ending. If I had such money at my disposal what would I not do?

(That’s what people are afraid of is it not? Well, well, well. Keep your money guys; you might need it in the heaven world which you are certain to visit!)

What kind of funds are these, or are these collected from different wealthy dolts in the society by coercion, it seem to be so because they exhibit scant respect for money. If I or you were spending money you would be careful what you do with it, but not these wonder workers. I call them so because they seem numerous and at the same time connected to form a unity.

They all work with one mind and seem to have rehearsed their roles beforehand. This is not be wondered at because, the spineless invertebrates keeping out of sight need only let on that these “upright citizens’ are working for the state and is trying to trap the greatest threat to the world.

Currently all the imbeciles I see around believe implicitly that I am that threat.

I can destroy the world out right you know, and these good citizens are saving the world from me. Shouldn’t they be rewarded? No doubt they should. They are working for the benefit of the humanity.

And to tell you the truth, they are being rewarded, if you only knew of the sums that the “authority” spends to nullify my horrifying sins! (The safety of the world is at stake you know). You would not believe it.

If I did not have a pen with me all these exalted deeds would have been gone unrecorded. What a great loss that would have been to humanity, who ever recognizes that such hard working and sincere souls are out there working silently to eliminate terrible universal calamities like me?

On this day I was at a bakery on my return journey, no one was there when I went in. Suddenly the whole world gets there. Every one of them shows wonderful familiarity with me. They even hint at certain things in my life. The girls at the counter purposely delay the delivery of the items I ordered to me though none of the crowd was purchasing anything.

They were waiting for the ‘experts’ to arrive. Soon the expert arrives and speaks to the owner of the shop on more intimate details concerning me. They darkly hints that the only want to “make things clear”.

They are already so tense at the workplace that I am sure that they would soon start alluding to “Quotations” (quotation is a covert term used to describe the work given to hired killers.) Well nothing is impossible for these guys. When the goons and uprights go hand in hand anything is possible.

Anyway things are hotting up at the workplace.If everything else fails these guys sure is going to jump on me and start suffocating me. All the signs are there, they are currently chewing mixture of betel in front of me (none of them does it normally) and according to sources “betel mixtures came to be associated with contracts, agreements, weddings or other occasions. After contracts were signed, betel was chewed to signify the final "sealing" of the agreement. “

Unless they are planning to marry me (at this late age and in my poor physical condition!) they could mean only one thing, that an agreement has been concluded to eliminate me. I am fearful and I am suggesting something else in its stead. I am ready to marry them, both the male and female perps all together, one’s life is more precious than our prestige, is it not.

I am not worried about looking ludicrous before the public in marrying them en masse. I don’t mind their ages and different statures in life, I am without options and I am ready. Would you marry me perps? I would like to have my life back. And please don’t worry male perps, the Delhi High court has ruled that males can get married in this land, if it is not permitted in this Gods Own Country let us by all means go to Delhi and get married.

My wife won’t mind, it’s to save my life, is it not.

Don’t chew betel mixture because you have decided to get me eliminated, chew it because we are going to get married, I promise to be good to you.

I can be the lover you were looking for all your life.