Utter confusion your honor

It was like this. I started writing just for the fun of it. Not in this blog of course, this came much afterward. I loved words, though they often deserted me altogether and left me dry. But I wrote just the same. Perhaps it was an effort to structure time. Or it might have been an effort to come to an understanding about life, I had lot of fun doing it anyway, and I was able to whittle away time somewhat too. But as for understanding life, well that remains to be seen.

Yet I don’t view life as a wonder at all; it might be an accident for all I know. The purpose people see behind it might be the result of the limiting influence of the sense organs and the processing unit we carry on our shoulders- the brain. In the nineteenth century people seems to have thought that the world would reveal its secrets if we had the right kind of equipment to understand it. The belief turned out into an unattainable fantasy. Our inherent limitations became the greatest stumbling block in deciphering the world into understandable primary units. These were called the building blocks of the world.

I would not go into all that. From what little I know about it, it seems that everything is uncertain at the sub atomic level. People had to rely on abstractions to come to terms with phenomena at the level. Our inquiries into the cosmic have also not yielded any better results. In both cases our tools or lack of them have failed us. By the look of it, it might not be possible to tackle them physically (in the very limiting sense of the physical world that we see and know about. I do not know whether the ‘physical’ would include more subtle phenomena than it is conceived at present. Thought, reason and consciousness could also be viewed as physical things, and then abstract tools could also be considered physical ones) at all.

I can’t say that I was out to produce any sort of a philosophy by venturing in to writing. But then as some say every one relies on some sort of a philosophy when they express themselves. This might happen unknowingly too. All kinds of influences might be there. Different ideological concepts could also be evident. There could be dualistic concepts too.

Putting down ideas into paper or into any format can be a hard task, even considering the simplistic way I usually write. The mind is a fickle thing. It runs after new ideas which arise in its surface every now and then. It is next to impossible to hold on to an idea for any length of time. In fact the most effective method suggested by the wise to get your mind into some order is to follow a single thought to its end. This is not easy as those who have tried to do so would certify.

Well whatever I was after, it is yet to be accomplished. In the mean time individual human life appears quite meaningless to me. It is absurd in its essence. Every day begins and ends in the same manner more or less. It is true that we can structure it in a way so complex as to give it a grand appearance. I do not deny that there could be situations in life which complicates individual life in that manner. But in the end viewed as a process (Biological, cerebral or whatever) it not so complex if it is shorn of all its trappings is it? It might be just an interval between birth and death with out any further meaning added to it.

True we can make whatever we want of it and turn it in any way we want, provided we have the time and things to do it. Yet life has no deep significance to it. There are no hidden secrets to discover. We all know this inherently, but we would like to forget it and live in the realm of the make belief. That is more interesting is it not? Yes I know that it is an undemanding philosophy, but nonetheless it is not worse than that of any one in the world. May be others more Intelligent than me might differ. To them life might be some thing grand, a great opportunity for preparing themselves for some thing even grander. I do not know if that is true. I have not yet come across any evidences that it is so.

In the thousands of years of human development (development is a taboo word I know, I have been riled at for using the word without understanding its significance, but what to do, my vocabulary is so limited that I have to use these sometimes) and evolution and thought no one has been able to come to a definite understanding about what life is all about. If any one has inkling about it kindly let me know too.

At least I think on the above lines, there might be other opinions of course, but again that should not matter to me. This blog is about my beliefs and view points, however trivial they are. I haven’t yet denied any one of their own view points.

They are welcome to hold on to them and further enrich them. If there is anything I find interesting in their findings I would only too willing to concede them.

But to me there are only three facts that we can rely on in our lives. The fact that we are born, the fact that we are living and the fact that we all have to die. This third fact is yet to be realized. It can only be inferred from what we see around us.

But what if we wouldn’t die at all? It is a curious thought. To live on like this, perhaps a little older, a little duller, but yet live on indefinitely. What makes us certain that it would not happen? What makes us sure that some one would not abolish death altogether as related in some fables.

We are all afraid to die. I am no exception. Though I have never yet thought about it in a real sense. Thinking about death in your mind is not the same as experiencing it or coming near it physically. Well I was about to be drowned once at sea. I had given up hope completely. Some one else came to my rescue, and I was saved. Was it a good thing to be saved I often wonder now.

What would have happened if I had gone under, where would I be now? Would I be anywhere at all? Yes I had experiences beyond the normal human ken. In states which people call meditation. I have always called them dreams. In that sense our world could be a dream as well.

My having had such dreams do not guarantee that there is a world other than this anywhere. None of these are of any importance really other than in consoling ourselves. We can of course add to our experience of life through such acts. But even that is not very rewarding individually when all is said and done.

None can escape the human predicament, the death.

The only way to counter it is to target truth while you are waiting for death. You can realize it intellectually (don’t confuse it with an IQ of 200 or some thing. It is not required to be furiously intelligent to realize the true nature of things) as individuals. The method is out there. You can follow it. Or you can fashion one of your own.

As you can see I have stated that life is meaningless in one place and that the truth can be found in another place. It is confusing is it not? Well both could not be true. Or can both be true? Can there be more truths than one. Then what are we searching for. What are we hoping to find? Which is the one? Which is true, true?

Do I know myself, does any one know?

As one poor advocate once said:

Utter confusion your honor!