I was not God then. I was only a devotee; I had the blessings of my Goddess. She shined through me and people were seeing her and not me when looking at me.
I was smiled on by the most beautiful of deities, the star of all goddesses and I was deeply in love with her. She seemed to be deeply possessive of me too. Wouldn’t let any one come near me and would not let any one have a bad thought on me.
If I had followed her all through I would have been anything I wanted. I unfortunately did not want much.
Alas, she does not often smile on me now. I have a tough time understanding words as a result. There seems to be giant gaps in my comprehension.
Yes, some words I know, like the first grey hair on my moustache, oh, we have such things in India, fuzz I mean, grey hairs we have none ever since Aldus Huxley invented hair dyes.
Great man our Aldus. He was about to invent pneumatic jeans too. He would have done so had old man Peter (Saint Peter I mean) not made a gross miscalculation. He had accidentally deducted a prime number from a decimal and ended up in reducing Aldus’s life by the truck loads.
Saint Pete later alleged that chasing my shadow had possessed him while doing that. They are in search of an exorcist now. There is also a case of shape shifting accused on chasing my shadow, it is reported.
CMS seems to be a red Injian rather than a brown one. Well that is another thing altogether.
One of our sweet girls (Ninety nine decimal nine nine percent Indian and only a wee bit English) said about the incident right after the Mumbai “Shoot out”.
“I am sick and tired of all this.” She was right too. The heaven world has lately become decidedly devilish.
Yesterday the brightest of our TV anchor’s put it succinctly.
“It is inimical”
No doubt she had ‘said it’ this time; everybody is in prime need of an enema in the world. I would desist from thinking about the aftermath. (Please don’t compel me
Incidentally this was the greatest criticism Aristotle had against the Pythagoreans. That there is no evidence of motion in their system.
Aristotle knew of the dangers.
Constipation is serious business. One of my dearest friends had it once. He thought it could support the Eifel Tower without sweat.
People think concrete is hard, Grrr, they err.
Yet,
A sage had had once remarked. “ Yayaa kayaa kavidhaa bahuannam praapnuyaat. “
You did not get the meaning did you, I also didn’t then. Needed some search on the internet!
They say that you can find anything on the internet minus your soul. I tried to fill the gap and the results are not very heartening.
I feel sorry for the deluded. Maya has got them by the throat and they believe that the squeaks that they make are from delight. Honestly it is heartrending to say the least.
If people can’t distil truth from tripe how do they learn? Poor misguided souls
As for ‘yaya kaya’ I am still to find it in the net though.
It is the most difficult of all things. Getting the meaning from things (or out of things) it is called divination you know.
Any way that quote means “get lots of grub without caring how you get it”
So start feeding yourself before feeding the soul. I shall let you know when you are ready.
But don’t overeat because the more you shovel in the more you have to squeeze out. There lies the predicament.
Thinking about the sad state of affairs I twirl my moustache.
Mind you it is not a bad moustache, it is not thick like thieves but it is strong and can be twirled. I often twirl it too; the only enemy to it to date is my darling wife. Though she denies it, she has trimmed the upturned ends a few times while poor ‘me’ was dozing off.
Having no whiskers and not knowing the pain it takes to grow and maintain one she has no compassion on the poor souls who grows them and she is brutal in her dealings with it.
As you might have guessed. I do not usually embrace the “all forgetting” siesta when I am “upturning“ my macho mustachio.
There could be dangers all around. The bugs being the most prominent terrorists. My wife is not a creepy-crawly, but she does dislike my machismo from time to time.
As you can see, we don’t go for the sleek look in India. We are all very rough ad tough, the macho male to the core.
Of course we are ever careful not to show it on the outside. What if some one steals it?
You see there are all kinds of thieves around. So when trouble is around we normally don’t show.
Law included.
Every thing else precluded.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Mum is the word
Some times we play a prank and the world gets back at us in a strange and unexpected fashion. Of course it confuses us for a little while.
My god what has just happened? It is beyond belief!
We stare vacantly at the space for minutes on end. After some time with this deeply penetrative practice we have to shake our head and say “What the hell” and gird up our loins again and go on with our little fights with the world.
That is how we achieve equilibrium.
Strong word, this equilibrium. There are others too, equipoise is my favorite. If you are lucky you get to spell wonders like equanimity, equidistant, equity, equivocal, equilateral, equestrian and of course equinox.
Don’t ask if I know the meaning of the words. I am not in that kind of mood. I have suddenly become deeply philosophical. If you do not watch out, this is what happens. You become philosophical, and of course then you are a goner.
So let us get back to our mundane existence. I had used this word ‘mundane’ in my very first post. But as luck would have it, no one read it and the word escaped public notice. Now when I am again trying to ‘appropriate’ it-
(As in appropriation and misappropriation and not as in suitable, fitting, apt, proper, right, correct etc. you see, after that “cruelty” incident I am scrupulous about these things.)
-for the present post I see it quivering with fear and apprehension. Poor word, I can’t console it. I am presently trying to reason with it.
“My dear ‘mundane’ “
(I don’t know the meaning of the word as usual; it has some contrived relationship with Sinadin Sidane I think. Very brainy guy Sidane, uses his head a lot. The Italians would certainly bear witness to it.)
“If I had any other option, would I have done this to you?”
It still seems downcast. By ‘it’ I mean the word of course and nothing else I can’t blame it.
Words are daily raped by people like me in public. They need pristine lips to issue from. We are the aboriginals of the literary world, especially when it comes to the descendants of the author of the “Rape of the Locke”
It was Tutankhamen was it? Brilliant man! Or was it a woman?
Anyway he/she has written some delectable essays on lamb chops. “The Essays of Elea”.
It’s a must read, it’s an in depth deductive analysis of the induction of modern technological (ecumenical) inventions into the gory realm of a slaughter house.
(I am tired after writing the sentence. Let me catch my breath, it is elsewhere at the moment.)
Anyway as is my style, I am about to go in another direction altogether. The good thing is you can’t do a bloody thing about it.
I was talking about pranks wasn’t I? Well Frank, here we go.
This is a period bit. You know what a period bit is, don’t you? It is a story set in the future.
A quarter of a century back (I am thinking from the future now as the more discerning among you would notice.), all was well with the world and I was at Farookh collage.
I was staying in good Breeze (It’s not a physical condition; it’s a lodge near the campus).
One staunch atheist had gone out for the night (don’t think it is me) and we decide to play a practical joke on him.
It was a moon lit night. The alley passing by the side of our lodge opens in to the compound near an old tree. The tree has a history. There were rumors that it was the abode (what a word) of a ghost. None of us had seen it. None believed it too.
We decided to become ghosts (As if you were anything else ever!).
Ghosts always follow the all white dress code. We did not have the full length white robes; the next seminary being some distance away, and the would be ‘fathers’ not very philanthropic. So we had to make do with our dhotis.
Have you seen an Indian dhoti? If it is a ‘double’ one it would have a length of some four or five meters. You can unfold it and wrap it around your body and it would cover you fully.
We wrapped it around ourselves and positioned ourselves on the lover sections of the tree. There were four of us. It was a long wait and we were brutally attacked by every insect in the tree.
At last our prey became visible and as we expected he was alone. It was past midnight and there was a slight chill in the air.
The moment he reached below us we all jumped silently on to the ground and began a slow and weird dance around him. The poor guy immediately fell down unconscious. We were overjoyed with our success and were continuing our dance with glee.
As I said earlier, there were only four of us. Then curiously another thing silently descended from the tree and began to dance with us.
Being the bravest of the lot I only woke up the next morning with a chill and a splitting head ache on the veranda of the lodge were our other lodgers had placed us.
None of us know who that fifth person was, till date (recently I have an idea about it. But mum is the word!).
According to those who found us, we all, including the atheist friend, were lying on the ground completely senseless.
Well it seems that some did think we had some sense before that. That was some consolation!
My god what has just happened? It is beyond belief!
We stare vacantly at the space for minutes on end. After some time with this deeply penetrative practice we have to shake our head and say “What the hell” and gird up our loins again and go on with our little fights with the world.
That is how we achieve equilibrium.
Strong word, this equilibrium. There are others too, equipoise is my favorite. If you are lucky you get to spell wonders like equanimity, equidistant, equity, equivocal, equilateral, equestrian and of course equinox.
Don’t ask if I know the meaning of the words. I am not in that kind of mood. I have suddenly become deeply philosophical. If you do not watch out, this is what happens. You become philosophical, and of course then you are a goner.
So let us get back to our mundane existence. I had used this word ‘mundane’ in my very first post. But as luck would have it, no one read it and the word escaped public notice. Now when I am again trying to ‘appropriate’ it-
(As in appropriation and misappropriation and not as in suitable, fitting, apt, proper, right, correct etc. you see, after that “cruelty” incident I am scrupulous about these things.)
-for the present post I see it quivering with fear and apprehension. Poor word, I can’t console it. I am presently trying to reason with it.
“My dear ‘mundane’ “
(I don’t know the meaning of the word as usual; it has some contrived relationship with Sinadin Sidane I think. Very brainy guy Sidane, uses his head a lot. The Italians would certainly bear witness to it.)
“If I had any other option, would I have done this to you?”
It still seems downcast. By ‘it’ I mean the word of course and nothing else I can’t blame it.
Words are daily raped by people like me in public. They need pristine lips to issue from. We are the aboriginals of the literary world, especially when it comes to the descendants of the author of the “Rape of the Locke”
It was Tutankhamen was it? Brilliant man! Or was it a woman?
Anyway he/she has written some delectable essays on lamb chops. “The Essays of Elea”.
It’s a must read, it’s an in depth deductive analysis of the induction of modern technological (ecumenical) inventions into the gory realm of a slaughter house.
(I am tired after writing the sentence. Let me catch my breath, it is elsewhere at the moment.)
Anyway as is my style, I am about to go in another direction altogether. The good thing is you can’t do a bloody thing about it.
I was talking about pranks wasn’t I? Well Frank, here we go.
This is a period bit. You know what a period bit is, don’t you? It is a story set in the future.
A quarter of a century back (I am thinking from the future now as the more discerning among you would notice.), all was well with the world and I was at Farookh collage.
I was staying in good Breeze (It’s not a physical condition; it’s a lodge near the campus).
One staunch atheist had gone out for the night (don’t think it is me) and we decide to play a practical joke on him.
It was a moon lit night. The alley passing by the side of our lodge opens in to the compound near an old tree. The tree has a history. There were rumors that it was the abode (what a word) of a ghost. None of us had seen it. None believed it too.
We decided to become ghosts (As if you were anything else ever!).
Ghosts always follow the all white dress code. We did not have the full length white robes; the next seminary being some distance away, and the would be ‘fathers’ not very philanthropic. So we had to make do with our dhotis.
Have you seen an Indian dhoti? If it is a ‘double’ one it would have a length of some four or five meters. You can unfold it and wrap it around your body and it would cover you fully.
We wrapped it around ourselves and positioned ourselves on the lover sections of the tree. There were four of us. It was a long wait and we were brutally attacked by every insect in the tree.
At last our prey became visible and as we expected he was alone. It was past midnight and there was a slight chill in the air.
The moment he reached below us we all jumped silently on to the ground and began a slow and weird dance around him. The poor guy immediately fell down unconscious. We were overjoyed with our success and were continuing our dance with glee.
As I said earlier, there were only four of us. Then curiously another thing silently descended from the tree and began to dance with us.
Being the bravest of the lot I only woke up the next morning with a chill and a splitting head ache on the veranda of the lodge were our other lodgers had placed us.
None of us know who that fifth person was, till date (recently I have an idea about it. But mum is the word!).
According to those who found us, we all, including the atheist friend, were lying on the ground completely senseless.
Well it seems that some did think we had some sense before that. That was some consolation!
Friday, December 5, 2008
The Bijiks of life
I was without beard once, shaved twice a day. Every one called me by a god’s name then, you know the legendary enticer of women in India. He is said to have had 10008 wives in all. Pretty dumb to keep so many while one would have sufficed.
All have the same equipment don’t they?
May be there could be some minor deviations here and there. Structural aberrations mostly.
But going by what is on exhibition out in the world it might not be possible for us to say with our amateur Golfer:
That,
“The 1st and the 18th need the same amount of effort”.
Poor guy, he has a lot to learn.
One of our Indian golfers was more precise.
“Every one of them is unique and every single spot is different. The degree of difficulty varies from terrain to terrain”
Significant words those. The poor guy had an accident just prior to the statement. Putted a wrong’un it seems.
Gee!
I had enough sense then to keep away from enticing any of the fair ones. Do you want peace? Then tie the knot and entice them not.
Would you think me prideful if I mention in passing that I had a wonderful effect on women then? The girls wouldn’t move away from places I were in and the older women would not take their eyes off my face. They would all become mellow and tearful.
The older ones of course were thinking of the god and seeing him in me. Truly I am the God incarnate, have always been, the sorry thing is, none including my dearest wife has recognized it!
No poor God ever has had to suffer like me. I thought that people would flock to me once I have realized the truth.
As of now they only flap and go clack, clack.
Well I am a poor God and yet I am the only God in existence too. I have not the least doubt all the other god men are bogus if they don’t know who I am.
Yes, yes I know, I do not have a set-up to boost myself up as god. I have no disciples; I have little property, and less knowledge of the world.
Yet back in those days people were attracted towards me. Even strangers used to hug me. People were lured to me as if by magic.
Any way all it was a pain in the ass. I hate attracting attention on to me. It sort of disrupts my magnetic field and brings in alien influences.
Believe me I was never the one to hanker after popularity or fame. If some one threatens me with fame, you would see me on the next strip of road running fast and picking up speed by the second.
The thing is that fame makes you comment on things on which you know simple “jeero” (Zero, as those in some places would say.) about. I hate it when that happens. People ask all kinds of silly questions.
What you think of the Schrödinger’s equation?
I would always pretend to be intimate with those things.
“Oh you mean Schrodinger, knew him from my Kindergarten days. Very witty guy. There was this incident where we both were standing near a kerb and suddenly this car swerved towards us……….”
This would normally be enough to drive sense into any one. They would depart with a look of deep understanding on their faces. And whenever they see you in future this look of deep understanding would bubble up again.
You think the effect has to do with lying don’t you. Well think again.
The world itself is a lie. You think that one who knows what truth can’t lie. Well you can take it from me. Every word you utter is a lie.
Those who do not know it for what it is, say this is metaphysics. To me it is bijiks and nothing else.
I do not expect you to understand it all. That is the difference between you and me.
You may know what Planck’s constant is and how you can arrive at it. While I know it not and do not lose anything by it.
But I may know what this world is all about and you lose everything by not knowing that.
One great and kind man has said:
‘If you want to taste a tender coconut, you normally discard all else but that which is inside. Or would you start munching every thing including its outer shell? You don’t!
Then why should you understand every thing to know the truth. Why don’t you accept the essential things and discard the rest?”
The point is:
You can not know every thing that there is in the universe. But you can know what caused it all and that is the thing to know.
All have the same equipment don’t they?
May be there could be some minor deviations here and there. Structural aberrations mostly.
But going by what is on exhibition out in the world it might not be possible for us to say with our amateur Golfer:
That,
“The 1st and the 18th need the same amount of effort”.
Poor guy, he has a lot to learn.
One of our Indian golfers was more precise.
“Every one of them is unique and every single spot is different. The degree of difficulty varies from terrain to terrain”
Significant words those. The poor guy had an accident just prior to the statement. Putted a wrong’un it seems.
Gee!
I had enough sense then to keep away from enticing any of the fair ones. Do you want peace? Then tie the knot and entice them not.
Would you think me prideful if I mention in passing that I had a wonderful effect on women then? The girls wouldn’t move away from places I were in and the older women would not take their eyes off my face. They would all become mellow and tearful.
The older ones of course were thinking of the god and seeing him in me. Truly I am the God incarnate, have always been, the sorry thing is, none including my dearest wife has recognized it!
No poor God ever has had to suffer like me. I thought that people would flock to me once I have realized the truth.
As of now they only flap and go clack, clack.
Well I am a poor God and yet I am the only God in existence too. I have not the least doubt all the other god men are bogus if they don’t know who I am.
Yes, yes I know, I do not have a set-up to boost myself up as god. I have no disciples; I have little property, and less knowledge of the world.
Yet back in those days people were attracted towards me. Even strangers used to hug me. People were lured to me as if by magic.
Any way all it was a pain in the ass. I hate attracting attention on to me. It sort of disrupts my magnetic field and brings in alien influences.
Believe me I was never the one to hanker after popularity or fame. If some one threatens me with fame, you would see me on the next strip of road running fast and picking up speed by the second.
The thing is that fame makes you comment on things on which you know simple “jeero” (Zero, as those in some places would say.) about. I hate it when that happens. People ask all kinds of silly questions.
What you think of the Schrödinger’s equation?
I would always pretend to be intimate with those things.
“Oh you mean Schrodinger, knew him from my Kindergarten days. Very witty guy. There was this incident where we both were standing near a kerb and suddenly this car swerved towards us……….”
This would normally be enough to drive sense into any one. They would depart with a look of deep understanding on their faces. And whenever they see you in future this look of deep understanding would bubble up again.
You think the effect has to do with lying don’t you. Well think again.
The world itself is a lie. You think that one who knows what truth can’t lie. Well you can take it from me. Every word you utter is a lie.
Those who do not know it for what it is, say this is metaphysics. To me it is bijiks and nothing else.
I do not expect you to understand it all. That is the difference between you and me.
You may know what Planck’s constant is and how you can arrive at it. While I know it not and do not lose anything by it.
But I may know what this world is all about and you lose everything by not knowing that.
One great and kind man has said:
‘If you want to taste a tender coconut, you normally discard all else but that which is inside. Or would you start munching every thing including its outer shell? You don’t!
Then why should you understand every thing to know the truth. Why don’t you accept the essential things and discard the rest?”
The point is:
You can not know every thing that there is in the universe. But you can know what caused it all and that is the thing to know.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Start again: Love All.
In times of distress people tend to become hysterical. Emotions take control and reason takes a back seat, this may be natural too. We are emotional creatures, and not wholly intellectual entities. Well it is not being forgotten that some of you would definitely qualify as wise beings, the lucky lot. Others like me might be other wise. I would like to leave you to judge on that. But I have lately began to doubt if I am as dumb as I myself and some very intelligent people take me for. Well that is an interesting thought anyway. I would not like to use an Hmm on it, but what the hell, let us Hmm.
There is beauty in doubt undoubtedly! But can we think of emotions now for a change? (As if some one could ever stop me!).
Emotions are what add beauty to life, and even meaning to life. Tell me if this is not true. Oh don’t bother, it is a way of stating things, I have no intention of troubling you for an answer.
I have seen iron willed men (and women for that matter) break down completely under stress. That’s how life acts on people sometimes; we toil hard to construct an impregnable (impregnable, my god! what am I coming to! Should I have used unassailable instead?) Personality all through our life. We employ wonderful techniques like auto suggestion to boost our invincibility up. We tell ourselves:
No I shall not break down, I shall not show the world what I feel, I shall stand tall and firm whatever the circumstances.
You repeat it to yourself thousands of times. You even record it in your own cracked and horrible voice and hear it without a stop. You get a lovely head ache in the process.
When calamity strikes you would not know when your shoulders began to sag, with tears threatening to run down both your cheeks you repeat:
I shall not…nghi ….hi… nghi …..fucking cry……nghi…hi I shall be nghi hi nghi hi nghi hi.
Some of you might have been fortunate to not to have done that in your lives. You just do not know what you are missing. As for myself, well, well, you see experience speaks for itself.
It always does, sadly!
(You believe all this shit don’t you? Unbelievable!)
Now to the brass tacks:
What do you live for? Not for yourself alone, no you can’t live like that. I do not know whether any one in the west can do so, they are the world leaders in culture now and perhaps they have found a way to live without being emotionally involved with any one else besides themselves. Well if some in the west have discovered a secret technique to do that and live a full life let us poor souls know about it too. But not in the manner some do now, that of confusing themselves and others in the process.
Confusion does not belong to any value system. It is an anti system. It is an offspring of chaos. (All the three sentences above belong to a genre called the sublimely philosophical and would be beyond the powers of understanding of most. So tread very lightly, you might catch a glimpse of truth if you preserve)
If some think that they can confuse others and play the confidence trick on the world they may be in for a surprise. Let me tell you their mind will start to astonish themselves by and by. I have seen too many instances of such reversals to doubt this fact. Only those who ‘know’ are really qualified to say things with any certainty and this knowledge is not bookish knowledge. It does not come from computation or any tricks with words.
It comes out of a conviction of having seen what is there to see.
I some times wonder at the way people go about believing in themselves to the extend that it completely over rules sense. Really guys we are complete non sense, the world is nonsense, and shit is the only thing we process and produce. But are we humble?
We may have some smattering knowledge about some thing. May be we are even an authority on the subject. But our of investigation does not exhaust all knowledge. There could be other fields as well. (Don’t say eureka, I have already thought of that! There is something called IPR you know!)
Such exclusive knowledge might give others the same right to show themselves off.
But really what purpose does it serve. Nothing at all!
Oh hell, let Maria Sharappova serve or Sania Mirza serve instead, (I am possessed by Anthony Burgess) they are stunning to watch at least. (What about Anna Kurnikkova?)
Game Set and Match. Start again:
Love All.
There is beauty in doubt undoubtedly! But can we think of emotions now for a change? (As if some one could ever stop me!).
Emotions are what add beauty to life, and even meaning to life. Tell me if this is not true. Oh don’t bother, it is a way of stating things, I have no intention of troubling you for an answer.
I have seen iron willed men (and women for that matter) break down completely under stress. That’s how life acts on people sometimes; we toil hard to construct an impregnable (impregnable, my god! what am I coming to! Should I have used unassailable instead?) Personality all through our life. We employ wonderful techniques like auto suggestion to boost our invincibility up. We tell ourselves:
No I shall not break down, I shall not show the world what I feel, I shall stand tall and firm whatever the circumstances.
You repeat it to yourself thousands of times. You even record it in your own cracked and horrible voice and hear it without a stop. You get a lovely head ache in the process.
When calamity strikes you would not know when your shoulders began to sag, with tears threatening to run down both your cheeks you repeat:
I shall not…nghi ….hi… nghi …..fucking cry……nghi…hi I shall be nghi hi nghi hi nghi hi.
Some of you might have been fortunate to not to have done that in your lives. You just do not know what you are missing. As for myself, well, well, you see experience speaks for itself.
It always does, sadly!
(You believe all this shit don’t you? Unbelievable!)
Now to the brass tacks:
What do you live for? Not for yourself alone, no you can’t live like that. I do not know whether any one in the west can do so, they are the world leaders in culture now and perhaps they have found a way to live without being emotionally involved with any one else besides themselves. Well if some in the west have discovered a secret technique to do that and live a full life let us poor souls know about it too. But not in the manner some do now, that of confusing themselves and others in the process.
Confusion does not belong to any value system. It is an anti system. It is an offspring of chaos. (All the three sentences above belong to a genre called the sublimely philosophical and would be beyond the powers of understanding of most. So tread very lightly, you might catch a glimpse of truth if you preserve)
If some think that they can confuse others and play the confidence trick on the world they may be in for a surprise. Let me tell you their mind will start to astonish themselves by and by. I have seen too many instances of such reversals to doubt this fact. Only those who ‘know’ are really qualified to say things with any certainty and this knowledge is not bookish knowledge. It does not come from computation or any tricks with words.
It comes out of a conviction of having seen what is there to see.
I some times wonder at the way people go about believing in themselves to the extend that it completely over rules sense. Really guys we are complete non sense, the world is nonsense, and shit is the only thing we process and produce. But are we humble?
We may have some smattering knowledge about some thing. May be we are even an authority on the subject. But our of investigation does not exhaust all knowledge. There could be other fields as well. (Don’t say eureka, I have already thought of that! There is something called IPR you know!)
Such exclusive knowledge might give others the same right to show themselves off.
But really what purpose does it serve. Nothing at all!
Oh hell, let Maria Sharappova serve or Sania Mirza serve instead, (I am possessed by Anthony Burgess) they are stunning to watch at least. (What about Anna Kurnikkova?)
Game Set and Match. Start again:
Love All.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Utter confusion your honor
It was like this. I started writing just for the fun of it. Not in this blog of course, this came much afterward. I loved words, though they often deserted me altogether and left me dry. But I wrote just the same. Perhaps it was an effort to structure time. Or it might have been an effort to come to an understanding about life, I had lot of fun doing it anyway, and I was able to whittle away time somewhat too. But as for understanding life, well that remains to be seen.
Yet I don’t view life as a wonder at all; it might be an accident for all I know. The purpose people see behind it might be the result of the limiting influence of the sense organs and the processing unit we carry on our shoulders- the brain. In the nineteenth century people seems to have thought that the world would reveal its secrets if we had the right kind of equipment to understand it. The belief turned out into an unattainable fantasy. Our inherent limitations became the greatest stumbling block in deciphering the world into understandable primary units. These were called the building blocks of the world.
I would not go into all that. From what little I know about it, it seems that everything is uncertain at the sub atomic level. People had to rely on abstractions to come to terms with phenomena at the level. Our inquiries into the cosmic have also not yielded any better results. In both cases our tools or lack of them have failed us. By the look of it, it might not be possible to tackle them physically (in the very limiting sense of the physical world that we see and know about. I do not know whether the ‘physical’ would include more subtle phenomena than it is conceived at present. Thought, reason and consciousness could also be viewed as physical things, and then abstract tools could also be considered physical ones) at all.
I can’t say that I was out to produce any sort of a philosophy by venturing in to writing. But then as some say every one relies on some sort of a philosophy when they express themselves. This might happen unknowingly too. All kinds of influences might be there. Different ideological concepts could also be evident. There could be dualistic concepts too.
Putting down ideas into paper or into any format can be a hard task, even considering the simplistic way I usually write. The mind is a fickle thing. It runs after new ideas which arise in its surface every now and then. It is next to impossible to hold on to an idea for any length of time. In fact the most effective method suggested by the wise to get your mind into some order is to follow a single thought to its end. This is not easy as those who have tried to do so would certify.
Well whatever I was after, it is yet to be accomplished. In the mean time individual human life appears quite meaningless to me. It is absurd in its essence. Every day begins and ends in the same manner more or less. It is true that we can structure it in a way so complex as to give it a grand appearance. I do not deny that there could be situations in life which complicates individual life in that manner. But in the end viewed as a process (Biological, cerebral or whatever) it not so complex if it is shorn of all its trappings is it? It might be just an interval between birth and death with out any further meaning added to it.
True we can make whatever we want of it and turn it in any way we want, provided we have the time and things to do it. Yet life has no deep significance to it. There are no hidden secrets to discover. We all know this inherently, but we would like to forget it and live in the realm of the make belief. That is more interesting is it not? Yes I know that it is an undemanding philosophy, but nonetheless it is not worse than that of any one in the world. May be others more Intelligent than me might differ. To them life might be some thing grand, a great opportunity for preparing themselves for some thing even grander. I do not know if that is true. I have not yet come across any evidences that it is so.
In the thousands of years of human development (development is a taboo word I know, I have been riled at for using the word without understanding its significance, but what to do, my vocabulary is so limited that I have to use these sometimes) and evolution and thought no one has been able to come to a definite understanding about what life is all about. If any one has inkling about it kindly let me know too.
At least I think on the above lines, there might be other opinions of course, but again that should not matter to me. This blog is about my beliefs and view points, however trivial they are. I haven’t yet denied any one of their own view points.
They are welcome to hold on to them and further enrich them. If there is anything I find interesting in their findings I would only too willing to concede them.
But to me there are only three facts that we can rely on in our lives. The fact that we are born, the fact that we are living and the fact that we all have to die. This third fact is yet to be realized. It can only be inferred from what we see around us.
But what if we wouldn’t die at all? It is a curious thought. To live on like this, perhaps a little older, a little duller, but yet live on indefinitely. What makes us certain that it would not happen? What makes us sure that some one would not abolish death altogether as related in some fables.
We are all afraid to die. I am no exception. Though I have never yet thought about it in a real sense. Thinking about death in your mind is not the same as experiencing it or coming near it physically. Well I was about to be drowned once at sea. I had given up hope completely. Some one else came to my rescue, and I was saved. Was it a good thing to be saved I often wonder now.
What would have happened if I had gone under, where would I be now? Would I be anywhere at all? Yes I had experiences beyond the normal human ken. In states which people call meditation. I have always called them dreams. In that sense our world could be a dream as well.
My having had such dreams do not guarantee that there is a world other than this anywhere. None of these are of any importance really other than in consoling ourselves. We can of course add to our experience of life through such acts. But even that is not very rewarding individually when all is said and done.
None can escape the human predicament, the death.
The only way to counter it is to target truth while you are waiting for death. You can realize it intellectually (don’t confuse it with an IQ of 200 or some thing. It is not required to be furiously intelligent to realize the true nature of things) as individuals. The method is out there. You can follow it. Or you can fashion one of your own.
As you can see I have stated that life is meaningless in one place and that the truth can be found in another place. It is confusing is it not? Well both could not be true. Or can both be true? Can there be more truths than one. Then what are we searching for. What are we hoping to find? Which is the one? Which is true, true?
Do I know myself, does any one know?
As one poor advocate once said:
Utter confusion your honor!
Yet I don’t view life as a wonder at all; it might be an accident for all I know. The purpose people see behind it might be the result of the limiting influence of the sense organs and the processing unit we carry on our shoulders- the brain. In the nineteenth century people seems to have thought that the world would reveal its secrets if we had the right kind of equipment to understand it. The belief turned out into an unattainable fantasy. Our inherent limitations became the greatest stumbling block in deciphering the world into understandable primary units. These were called the building blocks of the world.
I would not go into all that. From what little I know about it, it seems that everything is uncertain at the sub atomic level. People had to rely on abstractions to come to terms with phenomena at the level. Our inquiries into the cosmic have also not yielded any better results. In both cases our tools or lack of them have failed us. By the look of it, it might not be possible to tackle them physically (in the very limiting sense of the physical world that we see and know about. I do not know whether the ‘physical’ would include more subtle phenomena than it is conceived at present. Thought, reason and consciousness could also be viewed as physical things, and then abstract tools could also be considered physical ones) at all.
I can’t say that I was out to produce any sort of a philosophy by venturing in to writing. But then as some say every one relies on some sort of a philosophy when they express themselves. This might happen unknowingly too. All kinds of influences might be there. Different ideological concepts could also be evident. There could be dualistic concepts too.
Putting down ideas into paper or into any format can be a hard task, even considering the simplistic way I usually write. The mind is a fickle thing. It runs after new ideas which arise in its surface every now and then. It is next to impossible to hold on to an idea for any length of time. In fact the most effective method suggested by the wise to get your mind into some order is to follow a single thought to its end. This is not easy as those who have tried to do so would certify.
Well whatever I was after, it is yet to be accomplished. In the mean time individual human life appears quite meaningless to me. It is absurd in its essence. Every day begins and ends in the same manner more or less. It is true that we can structure it in a way so complex as to give it a grand appearance. I do not deny that there could be situations in life which complicates individual life in that manner. But in the end viewed as a process (Biological, cerebral or whatever) it not so complex if it is shorn of all its trappings is it? It might be just an interval between birth and death with out any further meaning added to it.
True we can make whatever we want of it and turn it in any way we want, provided we have the time and things to do it. Yet life has no deep significance to it. There are no hidden secrets to discover. We all know this inherently, but we would like to forget it and live in the realm of the make belief. That is more interesting is it not? Yes I know that it is an undemanding philosophy, but nonetheless it is not worse than that of any one in the world. May be others more Intelligent than me might differ. To them life might be some thing grand, a great opportunity for preparing themselves for some thing even grander. I do not know if that is true. I have not yet come across any evidences that it is so.
In the thousands of years of human development (development is a taboo word I know, I have been riled at for using the word without understanding its significance, but what to do, my vocabulary is so limited that I have to use these sometimes) and evolution and thought no one has been able to come to a definite understanding about what life is all about. If any one has inkling about it kindly let me know too.
At least I think on the above lines, there might be other opinions of course, but again that should not matter to me. This blog is about my beliefs and view points, however trivial they are. I haven’t yet denied any one of their own view points.
They are welcome to hold on to them and further enrich them. If there is anything I find interesting in their findings I would only too willing to concede them.
But to me there are only three facts that we can rely on in our lives. The fact that we are born, the fact that we are living and the fact that we all have to die. This third fact is yet to be realized. It can only be inferred from what we see around us.
But what if we wouldn’t die at all? It is a curious thought. To live on like this, perhaps a little older, a little duller, but yet live on indefinitely. What makes us certain that it would not happen? What makes us sure that some one would not abolish death altogether as related in some fables.
We are all afraid to die. I am no exception. Though I have never yet thought about it in a real sense. Thinking about death in your mind is not the same as experiencing it or coming near it physically. Well I was about to be drowned once at sea. I had given up hope completely. Some one else came to my rescue, and I was saved. Was it a good thing to be saved I often wonder now.
What would have happened if I had gone under, where would I be now? Would I be anywhere at all? Yes I had experiences beyond the normal human ken. In states which people call meditation. I have always called them dreams. In that sense our world could be a dream as well.
My having had such dreams do not guarantee that there is a world other than this anywhere. None of these are of any importance really other than in consoling ourselves. We can of course add to our experience of life through such acts. But even that is not very rewarding individually when all is said and done.
None can escape the human predicament, the death.
The only way to counter it is to target truth while you are waiting for death. You can realize it intellectually (don’t confuse it with an IQ of 200 or some thing. It is not required to be furiously intelligent to realize the true nature of things) as individuals. The method is out there. You can follow it. Or you can fashion one of your own.
As you can see I have stated that life is meaningless in one place and that the truth can be found in another place. It is confusing is it not? Well both could not be true. Or can both be true? Can there be more truths than one. Then what are we searching for. What are we hoping to find? Which is the one? Which is true, true?
Do I know myself, does any one know?
As one poor advocate once said:
Utter confusion your honor!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Let us do away with the smoke screen.
A lot of acrimony is being unnecessarily generated on the visit of our chief minister to the house of Sandeep, and on the words which were uttered by every one involved in those incidents. Have any of you watched the scenes relayed by the TV news channels? Mr. Unnikrishnan was going off the handle and was very abusive on the chief minister. We just don’t call an old and venerable man “poda” (clear out you….. Utterly disrespectful even to a younger man than you are). His very age should have protected him from such unseemly behavior. Over and above that he was the Chief Minister of a state.
Mr. Vayalar Ravi of the Congress party had the guts to say it openly and that is the kind of integrity that we should have. Calling a spade a spade is what is honesty is all about. Mr. Achudanandan has been abused and there can be no question about it.
It was natural for him to react roughly to such abusive language. He is a raw man, he has not been into the schools of the polished, and he is not the one to play act in his life.
His efforts against corruption and the disease of the system have been legendary. He might be rough, but he is not bad. And that is something in these confusing times. To call him an anti national because of his reaction to abusive language is nothing short of dubious. What are these paragons of nationality trying to prove? This is emotional black mailing, this is fishing in troubled waters, this is muddying up the pool.
He was upset, and I was upset too watching those scenes. I do not care what political party he belongs to, what his views on the subject are. But he is 85 and he is active and energetic. He is better than most of us who are young and “well bred”. He has clear views on a lot of issues, he is a tough man, and he is not the one to back off when he takes up a challenge. He has failed several times to carry them out, but that does not make him a lesser man than he is.
Who ever put Mr. Unnikrishnan up to such unseemly acts was not acting on the best interest of any one concerned.
I was always been proud about my people. I thought every malayalee is intelligent and would intuitively know where the truth lies. I was proud to have been born among them even though I consider myself to be a lesser intelligent member of the race, but now I have my doubts, are they intelligent at all. Are they viewing things in their clear light? How could they have missed the sight of their collective identity being abused by one and all? How could they react childishly in this manner, what are they afraid off, are they afraid that unless they don’t react like this they would be called anti nationals?
What the hell is this nationalism which disregards the respect due to an old man , that too an efficient man who has been around in the political scene of the nation even before most of us were born? How many anti national acts has this man committed? He is much better than most of those who visit their ‘masters’ on the sly and carry out their instructions word for word.
He has his failings, he is only human and we do not have super men amongst us.
Sadly some are burning his effigies and some are openly demanding apologies from him. He might not relent and say things he doesn’t believe in. I also think that it is not needed. People has to have respect, they should not be treated like bums in public whatever the circumstances. If an old person known for his integrity who is a representative of the people could not expect decent behavior in public, what can we the lesser mortals expect for ourselves? Burning effigies indeed!
Whose effigies are we burning? It looked like we were burning our own effigies. Instead we should be burning the effigies our stupidity and incompetence. This is a time of national crisis. We got to stop cashing in on the emotional fallout of the incidents. It is petty politicization of a deep and disturbing issue.
We are making a din about nothing. We are really moving away from the real issues at hand by indulging in petty emotionalism. What is done is done and it is much better left alone. These are confusing times, troubling times, we need to take a hold on ourselves. We should be thinking about strategies on defeating ugly anti people activities rather than going at each others throats.
Instead of asking Mr. Achuthanandan to step down as Mr. Lalloo Prasad Yadav did, we should step down from the silly pedestal of sentimentalism we have erected in our midst. The world is laughing at us and perhaps those who have orchestrated these unseemly incidents are laughing the most.
Let us not be diverted from the real issue of the threat to our people by side tracking. Let us look behind the smoke screens and be aware of the dangers that lie concealed there.
Mr. Vayalar Ravi of the Congress party had the guts to say it openly and that is the kind of integrity that we should have. Calling a spade a spade is what is honesty is all about. Mr. Achudanandan has been abused and there can be no question about it.
It was natural for him to react roughly to such abusive language. He is a raw man, he has not been into the schools of the polished, and he is not the one to play act in his life.
His efforts against corruption and the disease of the system have been legendary. He might be rough, but he is not bad. And that is something in these confusing times. To call him an anti national because of his reaction to abusive language is nothing short of dubious. What are these paragons of nationality trying to prove? This is emotional black mailing, this is fishing in troubled waters, this is muddying up the pool.
He was upset, and I was upset too watching those scenes. I do not care what political party he belongs to, what his views on the subject are. But he is 85 and he is active and energetic. He is better than most of us who are young and “well bred”. He has clear views on a lot of issues, he is a tough man, and he is not the one to back off when he takes up a challenge. He has failed several times to carry them out, but that does not make him a lesser man than he is.
Who ever put Mr. Unnikrishnan up to such unseemly acts was not acting on the best interest of any one concerned.
I was always been proud about my people. I thought every malayalee is intelligent and would intuitively know where the truth lies. I was proud to have been born among them even though I consider myself to be a lesser intelligent member of the race, but now I have my doubts, are they intelligent at all. Are they viewing things in their clear light? How could they have missed the sight of their collective identity being abused by one and all? How could they react childishly in this manner, what are they afraid off, are they afraid that unless they don’t react like this they would be called anti nationals?
What the hell is this nationalism which disregards the respect due to an old man , that too an efficient man who has been around in the political scene of the nation even before most of us were born? How many anti national acts has this man committed? He is much better than most of those who visit their ‘masters’ on the sly and carry out their instructions word for word.
He has his failings, he is only human and we do not have super men amongst us.
Sadly some are burning his effigies and some are openly demanding apologies from him. He might not relent and say things he doesn’t believe in. I also think that it is not needed. People has to have respect, they should not be treated like bums in public whatever the circumstances. If an old person known for his integrity who is a representative of the people could not expect decent behavior in public, what can we the lesser mortals expect for ourselves? Burning effigies indeed!
Whose effigies are we burning? It looked like we were burning our own effigies. Instead we should be burning the effigies our stupidity and incompetence. This is a time of national crisis. We got to stop cashing in on the emotional fallout of the incidents. It is petty politicization of a deep and disturbing issue.
We are making a din about nothing. We are really moving away from the real issues at hand by indulging in petty emotionalism. What is done is done and it is much better left alone. These are confusing times, troubling times, we need to take a hold on ourselves. We should be thinking about strategies on defeating ugly anti people activities rather than going at each others throats.
Instead of asking Mr. Achuthanandan to step down as Mr. Lalloo Prasad Yadav did, we should step down from the silly pedestal of sentimentalism we have erected in our midst. The world is laughing at us and perhaps those who have orchestrated these unseemly incidents are laughing the most.
Let us not be diverted from the real issue of the threat to our people by side tracking. Let us look behind the smoke screens and be aware of the dangers that lie concealed there.
Monday, December 1, 2008
This is a war between people and non-people
Everything is very hazy and emotional in our land at present. We have been through a hell of a time. We can’t even sit and walk around.
We have bullets lodged in our arse. And there are frayed tempers all around. It has affected everybody.
Our own chief minister was incensed today.
“If it was not the house of our Sandeep would even a dog glance that way? “ He was heard asking a TV crew.
Sandeep was in NSG and had died heroically in the Mumbai Skirmish.
Well, the CM had a reason to be unhappy. He was initially barred from entering Sandeep’s house. It was ugly all round. It should not have been so, at least considering the gravity of the situation.
Sandeep’s father Unnikrishnan went berserk when our CM went to offer his condolences to the bereaved family. I agree, it was a belated effort on the part of our government to do so. We did not send anyone before our CM and HM went there. It was a horrible fuck up.
Yet he went personally, recognizing the sad lapse on the part of his administration. He was at Delhi at that time.
If you ask me, he did the decent thing. Mr. Unnikrishnan had no call to make a scene. He even tried to close his gates on our ministers. He shamed his heroic son.
Admitted that he was suffering, angry and perhaps besides himself. Every father will be so in a situation like this. But in his emotion he forgot that he was disgracing the highest elected representatives of a State in India.
They were doing the decent thing. Unnikrishnan and his family is settled in Bangalore, Karnataka, a neighboring state to Kerala. They might be Keralites, but they are not staying at present in our state.
None of our Ministers need go there offering commiserations on an official level, demands of basic decency aside.
This they did and were treated shoddily.
Sandeep is a great hero. We all grieve for him and his family. But his was not the only family which suffered thus. There were other 150 odd Sandeep’s; some of them had never seen a gun before. They did not even know what hit them.
Those innocents are our brethren too.
We grieve for them also. We did not send our Chief Minster to all those homes, but we are not the less sorry for what happened in their families.
These are murky and sad times for our land. Everyone is ridden by passion and we are losing our sense of propriety in it. Iron has entered our souls. We are all agitated and angry.
Anger is only good if it is channelized into resolute efforts to rid us of what troubles us the most.
We have been through a lot. We have been through a bloody partition, we have been through a disgraceful Chinese war, and we have been through a shameful Kargil.
We thought we left behind all our ignominies. We can’t be a nation of sathyagrahi’s any more. Those times are past. We don’t even need heroes now.
What we need are tough men behind the scenes who could act silently and lethally if need be, men of very tough fibre, who can stand up to demonic pressures and come out of it tougher and stronger.
We need people who can take the whole world on, not caring what the world shouts at them. We can’t have some jelly bones handling our destiny. We can’t have careless scatter brains controlling our security.
We just can’t take things lying down anymore. We are not ready to do so.
These are the times when we need to stand together, when we need to make the world aware that we can be terribly exacting where our security is concerned. We can’t be at logger heads at each other at these moments. Forget every sectarian feeling and come together, for our very foundations are getting eroded by passivity.
It is not a question of patriotism even. It is question of pride. We are not even fighting real men here. We are fighting a bunch of programmed Zombies. Their lives have been taken away from them. They don’t mean anything to anybody at all. They are dead to the world. They are expendable to their own creators. Why should they bother us as human beings?
We can’t quiver before such as these. We are sensible people. We are the builders of civilizations. We can’t surrender before human robots without any souls. We can’t be frightened about life less apparitions.
This is not a war between the governments and the terrorists even. This is a war between people and non-people. Let us come together on the part of people and do some thing to save ourselves from these hostile non-entities.
And let us not be emotional about it!
We have bullets lodged in our arse. And there are frayed tempers all around. It has affected everybody.
Our own chief minister was incensed today.
“If it was not the house of our Sandeep would even a dog glance that way? “ He was heard asking a TV crew.
Sandeep was in NSG and had died heroically in the Mumbai Skirmish.
Well, the CM had a reason to be unhappy. He was initially barred from entering Sandeep’s house. It was ugly all round. It should not have been so, at least considering the gravity of the situation.
Sandeep’s father Unnikrishnan went berserk when our CM went to offer his condolences to the bereaved family. I agree, it was a belated effort on the part of our government to do so. We did not send anyone before our CM and HM went there. It was a horrible fuck up.
Yet he went personally, recognizing the sad lapse on the part of his administration. He was at Delhi at that time.
If you ask me, he did the decent thing. Mr. Unnikrishnan had no call to make a scene. He even tried to close his gates on our ministers. He shamed his heroic son.
Admitted that he was suffering, angry and perhaps besides himself. Every father will be so in a situation like this. But in his emotion he forgot that he was disgracing the highest elected representatives of a State in India.
They were doing the decent thing. Unnikrishnan and his family is settled in Bangalore, Karnataka, a neighboring state to Kerala. They might be Keralites, but they are not staying at present in our state.
None of our Ministers need go there offering commiserations on an official level, demands of basic decency aside.
This they did and were treated shoddily.
Sandeep is a great hero. We all grieve for him and his family. But his was not the only family which suffered thus. There were other 150 odd Sandeep’s; some of them had never seen a gun before. They did not even know what hit them.
Those innocents are our brethren too.
We grieve for them also. We did not send our Chief Minster to all those homes, but we are not the less sorry for what happened in their families.
These are murky and sad times for our land. Everyone is ridden by passion and we are losing our sense of propriety in it. Iron has entered our souls. We are all agitated and angry.
Anger is only good if it is channelized into resolute efforts to rid us of what troubles us the most.
We have been through a lot. We have been through a bloody partition, we have been through a disgraceful Chinese war, and we have been through a shameful Kargil.
We thought we left behind all our ignominies. We can’t be a nation of sathyagrahi’s any more. Those times are past. We don’t even need heroes now.
What we need are tough men behind the scenes who could act silently and lethally if need be, men of very tough fibre, who can stand up to demonic pressures and come out of it tougher and stronger.
We need people who can take the whole world on, not caring what the world shouts at them. We can’t have some jelly bones handling our destiny. We can’t have careless scatter brains controlling our security.
We just can’t take things lying down anymore. We are not ready to do so.
These are the times when we need to stand together, when we need to make the world aware that we can be terribly exacting where our security is concerned. We can’t be at logger heads at each other at these moments. Forget every sectarian feeling and come together, for our very foundations are getting eroded by passivity.
It is not a question of patriotism even. It is question of pride. We are not even fighting real men here. We are fighting a bunch of programmed Zombies. Their lives have been taken away from them. They don’t mean anything to anybody at all. They are dead to the world. They are expendable to their own creators. Why should they bother us as human beings?
We can’t quiver before such as these. We are sensible people. We are the builders of civilizations. We can’t surrender before human robots without any souls. We can’t be frightened about life less apparitions.
This is not a war between the governments and the terrorists even. This is a war between people and non-people. Let us come together on the part of people and do some thing to save ourselves from these hostile non-entities.
And let us not be emotional about it!
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