Stir it up

I am delighted. Things are hotting up everywhere it seems. It’s good to be in the eye of controversy and it feels nice, being taken “seriously” at last. How I yearned to be so, you can’t even imagine! I must have been intensely praying to ‘myself’ (you know, being God and all that!) over the last few months to make it happen.

The extent to which I had to go to achieve that. Man, you don’t know anything about the troubles and tribulations that a poor man has to undergo to attract some attention! You would not believe it!

You haven’t seen my ‘demeanor’ lately have you? You should have. It was pretty nice, even I was worried. It had thunder and lightning in it. It was like a black and stormy day. As I told you even I was worried.

Worries are what make us forget what a foolish thing this life is. Let me ask you, when was the last time you were alone with yourself? I know that you would not like to remember it, it could get bloody sticky. The memories which come sailing out of the deep recess of the past…..Hmm

Some say that we tend to forget our failures in life and remember only the moments of our victories. They must be crazy. It’s our wins that we soon forget, our failures, ha; those are what silently hunt us down. No wonder people run away to pubs, cafes, parks, movies and sports events.

Lately I have fallen into the habit of thinking. A bad waste of time if you know what I mean. I am yet to find a single human being who lives like that, by thinking I mean. There are exceptions of course. Take the case of my sworn enemies. They are the exceptions. They think all the time. It’s a joint venture. They put their heads together and try to think hard and every time their small intellects come up with below the belt ideas.

That’s what happens when you start to think. It gets your retentive states to come up. I am enjoying their predicament thoroughly.

It is sad that the lower level cronies they have in the fuzz could not yet come up with anything worthwhile to help them. These low dotards of the law came into this through certain unbelievable cowards among my adversaries. As every body but themselves are aware now, the live in my mortal fear.

I try not to look them in their faces now. For one thing I could not help laughing out if I did and for another they would get frantic if I did it. The bloody fools believe that if I look them in the faces directly they can’t live without fearing me. Okay I admit that there have been a few cases where they went of color when I looked at them in the phizz, but how can I be blamed for it. You can’t go on looking at something obnoxious without showing a healthy distaste for it. I just simply can't do it.

The loveliest thing of all is that they have engaged the help of a dumb headed professor who lives near me. Honestly I think that the poor guy may be getting some kicks out of his close encounter with the weird folk from the fuzz. He eavesdrops on our conversations in the family and reports the proceedings to his darlings. He is sort of pretty too. Who knows what the relationship actually is. I am not saying that there is anything in it. But his terrible antagonism towards me could be because I ignored his pretty smiles.

Anyway today I had a fright when the poor dolt and his cronies in the fuzz began to screech at high pitch when I just came in to the house. It went on for some time and suddenly stopped. The guys drove off. I rushed out to see what happened. I thought the moron was having some sort of a stroke and was about to be taken to the hospital.
I saw the tail light of the car. He has not yet returned from the drive. May be he is in the hospital. He lives isolated from the neighbors (He is a ‘southie” and none like to mingle with people from the south in these parts.). Let us hope that the poor son of a bitch is alright.

As I said my sworn gnash-teeth’s are seething now. They are importing all kinds of weird characters to confront me. They must have had some terribly bad news lately, I don’t know what. Anyway I can only report that they are in great ferment at the moment. One stooge came to threaten me that they would take it out on me on the coming Tuesday. They have called up all their buddies from the tombs and they are taking terrible vows internally.

The only disappointing thing that I find in them is the monotony of the games that the low level fuzz makes them play. It gets boring after a time. They are completely unimaginative. I am ready to supply them with some brains if I get a chance.
Why don’t the poor morons try some artificial stimulation to their brains, which might stir up some ideas in their head? Even the perps have brains cells don’t they?