"Totally Ignorungs"

There is this wonderful rite among the Parsees; they leave their dead for the vultures to feed on.

It shows love for an animal people generally dislike.

Did I say “Animal”? I must have erred.

[Roar:

“Did you consult the visual thesaurus, minion”

I shake like a leaf (frr…shoosh ….mrrr…..jrrrr) “No I didn’t monsieur”

“Nor the Britannia…?”

“I was on social security”

“What”

“I did not have the money to buy biscuits”

“You super dense dotard, it is not biscuitary, it is a bloody dictionary

Oh I am terribly sorry, I didn’t milord

“WHY?”

“I was jijnoranj”

“What did you just say?”

“That I wos ignorungs?”

“YEAH”

“I wos totally ignorungs”

“Oh I see you were ignorant that such things existed?”

“I wos. I wos very much, right onerous knight of the holy empire,

Is that a shin sir?”

Indubitably, dolt, indubitably]

I am shaking in my tattered boots (I am all feverish and shivering uncontrollably) yet I can but hold on to my view.

Birds are animals too, according to the dictionary of the less wise.

Of course they can even be groomed, bathed, spruced up and even be placed on a throne.

And vultures are what? BIRDS.

Eureka!

Yes, yes, there are vultures and vultures. Some feed on decaying flesh, some on other things.

I have had the occasion to meet vultures in human form.

Pretty nauseating, to tell you the truth (truth? What in the name of hell is that?)

Have you seen a human vulture? May I point one out to you?

[“You eternal imbecile, you have no right to call us that!”

“Not even as per the right to information activation monsieur?”

“Veritably”

“That’s horriblific”]

Good god if I am not permitted to talk about vultures, what would I talk about?