I had the ill luck to make the greatest blunder of my life recently-thought some one could make the grade in something. It ended up in a great farce. I never should have made such an error at all, always prided myself in such cases. But this time I think I was totally in the wrong-The efforts I had to make to extricate myself and the a few highly impressionable kids from a terrible situation which was developing!
They could have been my children if I had married early. They even taught me manners and netiquette on the sly. I had to meekly swallow their wise words, for I was in error, and that was unpardonable on my part.
Though I had unfortunately involved them in the game in a moment of abstraction they had nothing to do with it. They and their friends may believe in their superior intellect and expertise in every thing they took the pain to learn. But that would not get them anywhere in this particular pastime. This is a gory entertainment. This game is played for the highest of stakes. It can not be played unless you can stake your life in it. I can’t involve some inexperienced kids in such a sport. Their assistance might have already been roped in by the mercenaries who have taken the contract to finish me off.
I was not afraid for myself as they thought. I can handle even death the way I handle my life, for I have never set such a great store on life as that. Every one has to die, I would also die sometime, and it does not matter to me even if it happens at this moment as I am writing this. What I am worried about is whether I am tiring in my fight. That would have been worse than death for me. I can’t fail, even against the whole corrupt establishment, because in my heart I believe that my fight is important in a little way. It might only achieve my own fall, but the fight is important in the sense that it serves to highlight certain things people forget about human decency.
If everything is corrupt, it is much better to kill yourself rather than go on living, for what would be there to believe in? -Your mother’s milk? Well how many of you have even tasted that? And what are the chances that it too is not corrupted and infused with poison? I am not trying to paint a bleak picture of the world and NO, I am not an out and out moralist, but that doesn’t go as far as prostituting myself before anything I don’t believe in. When I buy a glass of milk I want it to be milk even if it is diluted into a thin and watery fluid. I don’t want it be some fucking chemical beverage, looking and tasting and behaving like milk. I expect only the minimum decency from others. But that much I truly demand, not request. I must have it.
Well I am not out to corrupt or inject poison into the young. They might later become worse than me or my enemies. They probably already think that they have become worldly wise. But they are wrong; they don’t yet know the hell of disillusionment. It would come, but that would be in the later stages of their lives, not now. Let them be as enthusiastic and hopeful of life as they can be now. I do not mind the infamy, which I already have, thanks to my lovable enemies. They are the absolute masters of the “rumor mill enterprises” and have wonderful facilities to make use of.
The poor kids were terribly unaware of the real situation and the danger they were getting into. Deep and destructive corruption at the core was acting through certain individuals. They have been trying to hunt me down for the last several years- When an individual is declared a public enemy for no reason other than certain people having something to hide that is not a very healthy thing. Several hundred thousands of bucks have been spent both officially and unofficially to get me off their back by their own admission. Probably they would do me in if all else fails. It all started by a chance incident of witnessing an exchange of money by certain high ranking officials and the “honorable” public long, long ago. I was comparatively young then. I spoke out publicly against it. None in the business of making money on the sly took to it nicely.
These people were shrewd. They were in power and were able to offer many things in return for acting against me. Just show some ‘wise idiot’ in our most esteemed public some sort of an official document and order them around. They would absolutely give evidence against their own mother and would feel infinitely proud about the “honest” deed they have done.
If some one comes up and says to a model citizen, showing either fake or real Govt badges and assures him that he would accept all responsibility even in the worst case scenario, that of death to the “ subject”, that paragon of the civil rights would do the most heinous of crimes to hurt, maim, destroy the social life and even kill the hapless individual concerned. All this have been conclusively proved by several such experiments done at various periods in the last century. I wouldn’t want to quote from those records as I have already done that in some of my previous posts and as it is a well known fact. Be it a retard or be it an Einstein this statement holds.
[It was Einstein who voluntarily requested the American Govt to produce the atom bomb because of his fear of the Nazi’s. He was so terribly divided inside and had caused the worst catastrophe in human history and he was all for developing the unified field theory. You think that science don’t have to consider ethical questions, don’t you, you are all for science even if it means that your children would be used as laboratory animals as is done in some prestigious hospitals in India.
I knew him for what he was, as gullible as anybody else, before his fears and misconceptions. You don’t just grieve after causing the Atom bomb to be made and used on innocent people- You eliminate yourself, you kill yourself, and you become done with everything, genius or no genius.]
You need some amount of guts to fight against a corrupt system. They will put everything you have ever done in your life under a microscope and use it against you, you will be isolated, every move that you make will be anticipated, and they will drive you away from your friends, each and every word that you speak will be distorted and would be quoted out of context, every look that you make will be interpreted wrongly, the simplest things that you take for granted will become insurmountable obstacles, You will be called a traitor , a pervert, ingrate, indecent, incompetent, disreputable , and every thing heinous. They will turn your whole life into a living hell. They will involve every organization, government or non government, church, religious bodies, local bodies, merchant associations in their move against you. The lies these moralist organizations are fed would be ingenious and would have the backing of the “authority”. If everything fails they will go for your life.
The sorry thing is, if you decide to fight you will have to be like them, devious, cunning and unrelenting, slowly your good qualities would desert you, you will become as bad as them, If you gain upper hand most of the time, you will have to be prepared for the worst. They will do you in good and proper.
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