Grub Governance

Currently all the exemplary Officers in my establishment are off to learn E Governance en masse. Yes, you heard it right- to learn nothing but E Governance! Do they know what the E stands for? They invariably do, it stands for Eat! There is gourmet food available round the clock at the training centers. Would anyone want to miss it? You dream.

By now the certificates they have amassed (there is training every other week) would be numerous enough to roof a medium sized house. None of these certificates are attained by effort. They are given to these adventurers for free. The institute has to save its face doesn’t it? Those who instruct these are aware of their infinitesimal intellects and pays reverence to them by passing them in the Divine Grade ( D)

Like always, it was my good luck to nominate them for the useless exercise. They have been given all kinds of training in the past and to tell you the truth, none are any the less proud of their wonderful ignorance. It’s catching.

Anyway, the air is much less polluted now; one can breathe freely, thank God! And yes, they do try to foul things up from afar by calling others up by phone. But you know they can’t be otherwise, one has to show ones good breeding every now and then, don’t one?

And they are using ICT, by using their phone’s to boot, though they don’t know what it is!

ICT? What ICT? Is it ‘icy tea’ or cold coffee? Then we will have some. We all like cold coffee. No, it’s not that ? Then what could this damn ICT be?

After a laborious churning of brains they would burst out in enthusiasm “Oh, ICT, got it, I Come First” (and my fambli too)”, and they would be beaming.

Who bothers about improving the efficiency and effectiveness and service delivery of the government through the use of information technology! What you talking about man, we only know enough technology to switch on and switch off our cell phones. That’s enough for us and our friends. We have post paid connections.

What other information is needed? If people want information they can phone us and the information would be supplied promptly, provided that there is enough of you know what! Or they can phone our driver, he is the go between……whenever we are in trouble, we call the driver. He knows more ICT than any of us, and then there are true ICTS among our class four comrades.

As to training for food, that’s our birth right!

No doubt in these trainings there is “Wider participation” of officers to information about the food available and they are all “food intensive organizations”, you see “food is power and (that) power is political”.

Well of course they would learn some catch words likeG2C, G2B by hearsay and bandy it about. What I can’t simply suffer is the strange and thick skinned attitude of these immortal idiots and their self satisfied smiles when they talk of it. I am sure that it would drive me up walls.

But what to do, one has to live among all kinds of stuff.

Sadly the good intentions of the government are always put to waste by these no good, petty egotists…. Such is the sad fate of our polity.

It’s said that E Governance could enable

Good governance
Trust and Accountability
Citizen's awareness and empowerment
Citizen's welfare
Democracy
Nation's economic growth

Etc. And we are teaching it to guys who look at a computer keyboard in great enmity and fear. If you think upon it you would not be able to stop laughing as long as you live.