I knew Einstein

Cucumber Town – Total Recall

2011-10-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Man, see how the plot thickens?

Now the rightist imbeciles are out for the blood too. See how they are smacking their lips smelling blood? They are supposedly out to save the one moron they know is certainly of no use to anybody.

He is called ……. Well you wouldn’t want to know what he is called.

They are out to save his sorry ass.

Rest assured that the sheen’s are quite visible. Its hundred and twenty thousand times more visible now. You might think there is no ‘point’ to it, but let me tell you there is. ) Even Preita Sindabad is with them.

They have just sought their help by phone.

“Please support us”

And the moment afterwards, these guys are doling out money in treacle’s.

Of course they don’t have the money, but you have to help out on a good cause you see!

The purpose you ask?

All in the cause of keeping the statusquo. That is doing nothing for the benefit of the public and taking money for the service.

And minimising the threat of , you know who ( he is the deadliest enemy of the office holding. The treacherous fellow, he wants people to do good to the public, ever heard such)

Man how cute!

All for one, and one for all.

Their idea is to turn this land into a paradise with no other inhabitants other than themselves and their families.

Only thing is. There is one guy out there who talks about responsibility and rules. Who cares about them?

They will come and go as they like. They will get paid in the manner they like.

What are you thinking guys, they are supported by the high and mighty.

They can’t be touched. You would wonder if this is the cucumber town.

You are right.

This is the bloody cucumber town.

If anybody dares to say otherwise they will do away with them.

Do you have any doubts? Just ask the service organizations.

They will take out their subscription coupons as a first measure.

That’s a threat.

If it is not heeded

They will send others with other coupons till you boot them out of your cabin.

Once that happens, they can attack and even kill. They have bought the weapons. They are set.

And the guy who is causing all this turmoil, is living under fear.

You see the obscene faces around with the owlish grimaces that are called something else. They are the one’s out to do it.

“The Itcholi express ”

2011-09-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

“The Itcholi express ”

Well that’s how things are, you see, we are out to get him good and proper this time! By the bloody masterplan, this can’t go on! He has to be stopped. He is not doing anything against us, that is true. (Hmm, do anything against us, let him but try, he’ll see the kind of stuff we are made of!) But that doesn’t mean he is enamored of us. And that’s very dangerous. One ‘bad’ egg would spoil the whole basket of booties.

That of course can’t be allowed. We know that he is writing all kind of stuff against us. The Audacity! He is playing against the ‘very faithful’ of the regime. Let him remember that! The damn publicity monger, we’ll see that he gets good publicity. We’ll tarnish him even with the names of our dear and near if need be. We’ll hound him to the end of the earth.

And you know, we just had a brain- storming session inside the compu-room. We computed the amount of money we are swindling out of the government treasury by not doing a single thing for the whole month. It comes around to a few hundred-thousand lovely bucks per mensem. It’s totally gross, we know! But it is easy money. And we don’t even have to go to the office to get it , we can sit at home and play with our children and manage our own privet business.

Some say we are stepping out of our jurisdiction in doing such things. Jurisdiction our blessed foot. Our jurisdiction extends from ***icut to ***luru to ***mala. If anybody says anything about our jurisdiction again the lord appa would ‘take care of them’. We are sure about that, if not of anything else.

And there are any number of other deities who are willing to help to keep the world the same, no one need worry about that. We often wonder at our luck too! It is as if we are doing the god’s mission on earth in undermining everything in the world.

We are the blessed of the whole inhabitants of the earth.

And would anybody ever want to let go of that and the easy money it provides? That would be tantamount to being ‘good’; wouldn’t it?

And who wants to be good? For that matter aren’t we good to our family, our banks and our ‘favorites’? We are! Just come and have a look around in our lives. Can you find anything ‘bad’ at all in them? You will have to perspire real blood to do that! Look at the mansions we build, the hostels we run, the journey’s we take, the ‘tea’ that we regularly take!

So don’t talk about being good to us. We are good. To ourselves anyway. But to the rest of the world, we know how to behave, if possible we want to bring the terror out. We are not afraid of a single thing. At least we have the help from everybody in the service and not to say the service organizations. There is something called the class politics isn’t there? One has to look after one’s own kind! And we all know that the government is for the us and for nobody else.

There are fools around in the world who believe that we are appointed to serve the government and the people. Can there even such idiots exist in these enlightened times? One wonders. It is unbelievable. We know that there have been such simple souls from time immemorial. But we have managed to get our way every time didn’t we? Why? Because, there have never been the much touted “government of the people, by the people and for the people” anywhere around in the universe.

It just is not possible. The crow may fly backwards, roses may bloom in the desert, the pillow may even grow roots. But something would never change, that’s, how the regime works!

You see, there have always been one kind of government in the cosmos. The “government of the officials by the officials for the officials”. There has never been anything else. If there’s anybody amongst us who thinks otherwise, he is a black-leg, he is a revisionist, and he is the sum total of anti revolutionary sentiments.

And that wouldn’t do at all. Off with his head!

We are going out against him with no holds barred. We are not bothered about master plans or integrated un pronounceable plans and revision of schemes at the moment. By the way, who discovered these monstrosities anyway, to irk us? Don’t we have anything better to do, like dreaming the time away, appointing ‘temporary’ new slaves to serve us out of government monies, and thinking about our promotions and pay rises?

If for nothing else just to sooth our nonexistent prestige. Shouldn’t we have prestige? Why not, we at least we are not doing anything at all to make things any different in the world.

We are doing nothing at all!

We are out for the real battle, like the ‘Payyoli Express’ we are out to win this cross country hurdle.

“Let Him beware!”

The Pother the Moon is in

2011-09-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

The ‘Moon’ has its phases. Well, who doesn’t know that! It’s only ‘full’ on a single day of the month and some say it is the salary day of the Moon! Arrant nonsense, doesn’t the moon have a responsibility towards the family and children. Are there any bigger duties than taking care of them properly and shunting them to school/workplace and back every day? And what wonder, the Moon is involved in them all the other days of the month. Tell us, where is the time to go to work? Of course there is the wireless communication to rule remotely, isn’t there?

No one would dare to say anything about the Moon’s absence too, if they fear their lives!

But curiously, on the calendar the Moon attends his office every single day. Well what of that? It has a duty to ‘be present’ everyday even if it’s not around anywhere in the sky. Who can blame the poor Moon, he is doing his best, and can you imagine the trouble he undergoes to climb up the sky once a month to its place in the heavens? But what about the vigilantes, who are entrusted with the duties of over-seeing even the Moon? Well what about them? They are in the payroll of the Moon too, it is rumored. It’s them that give the courage to the Moon to stay absent, the grape wine whispers.

Not even the Sun blames the Moon. At least they both practice the same trade, so naturally they have to back each other up, don’t they? Okay there could still be some fools who murmur against such things. But who cares as long as the Sun and Moon are in power and as long as they have money to eliminate those who speak against them!

And the Sun is also reported to have given the go-ahead to the process of elimination, some say. Naturally the Moon has passed it on to his goons who are fattened by long periods of inactivity allotted by the Moon and are ready to murder anyone who goes against the wishes of the moon, for money and favors of course! They have recently been given chairs and tables in open places to read their glossies, can you beat that? You think it’s brazen and that they would shrink before visitors who come to the place? You dream, they are the new working class who rarely attend work. They know how to get by in life claiming only the rights and ignoring their duties. The Moon, being a terrible “populist’ is all in favor of the philosophy.

If you don’t believe this, come to the heavens and have a see! These goons are turning into proper heller’s and some of them are turning on sheer and pure terror. They couldn’t be proper terrorists could they be? One misdoubts but then who knows? Man, one has to fear to write these. You can imagine the kind of faces and animosity these goons can exhibit. They ooze murder and mayhem and are protected by all the absentees who are out there.

They have even started threatening the other heavenly bodies who try to do their duty, if possible, in the murky atmosphere. Poor dutiful heavenly bodies, they are currently quaking in fright, it is reported. These lovely goons come in all colors and shapes and are further backed up by the ‘sodalities’ that are supposed to represent the rest of the work force in the heavens other than the Moon and Sun and the major heavenly bodies.

Well the Moon can do it all alone without any help, his deputy whispers. So okay, the Moon has several interests that mint money like rabbits and is the lord of underworld wealth! What of it? It can remain in its home and construct palaces in other places. It is the master of health and can even spring magic mansions up in the heavens if it wants. It even burns its chariots down and gets fresh ones if need be, with the kind help of the Sun of course.

The only ‘pother’ the Moon has experienced in the recent times is the trouble it gets from misguided ‘right to information’ fanatics! They would seek information on everything that the Moon or his satellites has a mind not to approve. One would wonder why such trouble makers are there in the world at all. What if the great Moon declined permission to start an honest business? If it is a business shouldn’t the business-man do ‘business’ with the Moon first, otherwise how is Moon to know that it is a real business?

We should feel sorry for the Moon and its vassals. What if the last 18 years have been not productive for the Moon’s office? That’s how the intelligent guys run things, is it not? Bother about social responsibilities. Is it not enough that one gets paid every month even if one stays at home? That’s how socialism is going to come. Is there any doubt about that?

One can’t really criticize the Moon, he has a kind and large heart and he permits everyone to be errant too. Even if you are going to be killed, do nothing worthwhile at all; does the world need our efforts to make it better? The only real option is to make it worse, let’s check if the world can come back from what we do! We dare the world to ever come back; we have wrung its neck!

The Moon’s advice is, If possible use only off color remarks to those who come to work regularly, punctuality, as you know, is not welcome in the holy heavens! Promote such behavior and that is the only social service one can do. There could be those who are against this policy. But that is holy Moons policy, and who would dare oppose?

The Sun had once tried its level best to get it across to Moon that there are other ways to do things “you got everything here except productivity”. The Sun is said to have remarked to the Moon when he came for a visit to his sub domain. But as you would know, the Moon has something called the ‘gift of the gab’ and immediately retorted, ‘what work is possible here in the hellish ‘Heavens’?’ The shocked Sun did not even venture to speak further. And of course the vassals of the Moon clapped their hands in delight till they swooned off.

“It’s our master the great Moon, whew”, they murmured. “No one can put our moon to his place. Not even the Sun, not even the government of the whole world, let someone try! We will do away with them all, we swear on our dearest god Groucho Max.”

For they all belong to this same ‘Old faith’ you know, the Moon and his vassals. One of these days they are going to raise their banner in the most reverent of places, they are sure of that! They don’t wish to raise other flags, it’s a majority decision. They would decimate everyone who oppose. They of course don’t have to fear the bloodshed, for it is they who are planning to shed the blood of others, what if innocent blood is shed, it’s for a great cause, that of ruining the world.

At certain locations the ‘training’ for the takeover is progressing it is rumored in the highest of places. There is said to be a convergence of all the necessary elements in the heavenly fields and some fear that another revolution is in the offing. It’s going to be ‘the dictatorship of……’ (You know what) from then onwards! Man, the way we are trying to change the world!

If the Moon and his vassals ever learn about these lines they might murder the writer. It is learned that they have already sought the help from all quarters, even that of alien gods to get even with everybody that criticize their “good work”.

The writer is verily shitting in his pants, is there anybody to help!

Anyway long live Moon and his intelligent cronies!

We are the thing, all you fools, we are the thing

2011-09-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

One thing we have decided, we should pool all our resources into undermining whatever good that is in the land. There is no compromise on this score; this has to start from the government offices. As a first measure we have instructed all our members to be purposely late in attending offices and if we attend at all we need to do everything against the people. Object to anything and everything that the well meaning officers say to us. Do they know what is good for us and our organizations?

God forbid! (We don’t actually believe in god, god being the opium of the masses and intellectuals like us being more prone to the theories of you know whom. But all the same we even go to visit the ‘X’ now and then. He is a proletarian god and we believe in him implicitly! The nice fact that by going there we are meeting certain people without being under notice and are doing so many underhand things is an added incentive, we must admit. Do the fools who go to such places know any better?)

As we said there is no compromise. We are hard at work to raise the pension age to 60 in this state. This desire is not merely because of the added money it would bring to us. Are we as senseless as that? It’s the golden opportunity to do ill that is lovely. We can go on destabilizing everything that is out there in the land for five more years, can you believe the good it would do to our real masters who are sitting somewhere smiling at us. Ha, when we think of the pleasure of being noticed by those masters, we simply water at our mouth.

We are already making good progress. Every good officer has been put to his place and most of them cannot take any independent action without our consent, or else you know what we will do. We have so many goons in our hand that even the Genghis Khan would stand abashed before us!

We might even resort to graver measures. Let us see what our gangsters say!

The one thing in our mind is destruction all round! And come what may we are going to accomplish that. We swear on our Bose.

Complications

2011-07-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Now, like most belligerent people out there, wouldn’t one like to call oneself uncomplicated too? Technically, anyone could do so till it is proved otherwise. And there may not come a day for that too, since you’re the sole originator and user of the theory. They say, even serial killers think they are as innocent as babe’s.

Now wait a momen…….. did I say bayb? I can’t have!

No, no, not ‘babe’ babe, God forbid, that’s off limits in this context.

But it seems that there are differing opinions in their case too. Some say they are infinitesimally intelligent (So they can’t but be honest!) and some say they are just otherwise. I wouldn’t like to start a controversy here, I might get called a male chauvinist for all my good intentions, but even in those likeable specimens of humanity, it could be an inborn trait, like the color of one’s hair or skin or the eyes. It may have nothing to do with subjugating the fair race, that is, hopefully!

Coming back to the point, so why couldn’t one think oneself as honest, however improbable that might be? At least, it’s about our own idea of our self that we are talking of, we do not have to worry about copyrights in this case. Do we?

As an aside, let me assure you too, that it is not maintained here that people are mostly dishonest, it is only held that they are totally and dutifully so, and again, to themselves, the more optimistically so. May be it is the only way to suffer life, or more importantly it could be the only known method to keep your beans about you.

(That is, if you have any beans inside you. And, you know even from before saying this that I am an unabashed admirer of intellect.)

So, the thesis is that we can think whatever we like within. And no one would come and berate us about it, provided we do not publish what goes on the insides. Till such time we are safe, whatever the mind control experts say.

But sadly, life is a little more complicated than this. I am not saying it is unbelievably complex, unless we make it so. Other than the sad fact of our birth, and the sadder fact of our death, and the time spent in fear of death, there is nothing in it to be curious about. (Death is the only sure thing we have in life, don’t you think? Everything else is subject to doubt. Even our beloved might desert us brutally, but not our friend death. It is the most constant of all our companions. )

As one very intelligent man put it, “All we do is, we wake up, eat, execrate and sleep. That is all there to life. Some may imagine themselves to be something more. Well……

Yet life, as I said, is not as simple as one would like to have it. It is not as easy as death surely. Things go out of hand in it most of the time. You entrust something to someone and they do it only too well and land you in dire trouble. You blink and swallow the bitter pill and are seen as the dumbest of persons around.

You think its fate, there are such cute expressions in the human tool kit to keep you in equilibrium. Otherwise no one would come back from a terrible fall that they took.

You can take a look at this video here:

This is what people call experience. All are supposed to learn from the mistakes they make in life. My father used to advise me to gather the lessons that life teaches. Being a total iconoclast I am still to learn any. But I am not too proud about it mind you.

But there are also intelligent people out there who like to see the life complicated. May be it gives them the zest to live.

I would like to congratulate them too for the inventiveness they have.

Jitters

2011-07-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

There are moments in our life when we feel something strongly without even knowing what or why it is. We might feel affinity to, or distance from, something or someone without obvious reasons .We might feel despair, or elation about something on other occasions, all without really knowing why they occur. May be some of you do not believe this and are quite certain that you have everything under your control. If so well and good, but the chances are, even well maintained minds would find it most difficult to do so in most situations.

Such is the vastness of data that is coming in to us at any point of time in our lives and such is the nature of their connections with things that occurred to us in the past. These connections may not be very clear at their superficial level. They may even be coded messages that we discover or imagine that we recovered from what we were experiencing. All this could be going on within us quite unawares.

This is not surprising considering that most of the sense data collected by us over the years lie submerged and even invisible to our consciousness. I am not taking you to the realm of psychological theories of Freud or Jung or others here. Their thoughts may have some bearing on the subject. Their systems might even be able to dissect our mind and uncover the roots of the feeling. Well then there is not much to discover for them in any situation except “libido” and the “archetypal” is there! I have often thought that both are saying the same things in different words.

Whatever that may be, the above musings were prompted by something I overheard this evening. One guy was confiding to another:

“Once I hate somebody I can’t change it. I hate him for life. So I am trying not to hate him now”

Either he is being very defensive and boastful or being totally truthful. Knowing the guy I tend to go by the first guess. This is a man people call ‘weak’ and one who is easily frightened. I have seen it happen on several occasions and had felt sorry for him too. He is presently surviving with the help of the considerate among his fellow beings. There is nothing wrong with such conditions and there could be any number of reasons why a person is strong and another one is weak. It may be constitutional or acquired and in both cases the person may not be able to help it.

My guess is that he was a victim of inner office politics where he was working last. There are certain types of vicious scum on earth who delights in seeing others suffer for no reason at all. Sadly these types of criminals thrive in an official set up. These are the guys who put the thoughts of murder into you and unknown to you. Intelligence and worldly wisdom would not save you in such environments.

Unless one has the thick skin of a rhinoceros and the idiotic belief in one’s own importance in the scheme of things, one would be in an unenviable situation and would have to suffer steadily in places like that. Probably our guy lacked those qualities and he was emotionally mutilated. There may have been nothing that he could do against them. He was totally unprepared for it seems to be.

If these criminal types have any fear at all that is about their personal well being, not that this is a foolproof counter strategy against them. Some are like sharks that tear off their bellies to eat it if it is cut. Some of these trash could be as insensitive as to not to think about their own safety too while they are on the hunt.

Yet, the moment you manage to instill some fear into them you can be sure of some respite from their onslaught. If they have any belief at all that is the belief that they have the right to go on living, you try to show them otherwise, then they might draw a little back.

But this is easily said than done. Our guy could not have done it. I think he was totally at sea about what was happening to him when he was there. He is still respectful of certain psychic thugs who were in his last office. He seems to have no clue that they brought him down.

Anyway I had tried my best to help him when others were trying to put him down. In his torpor he hasn’t realized it yet.

I wonder what brings on such attacks of panic that I see sometimes in him!

Whats in store

2011-07-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

What a fall from the six systems of thought to the six fatal diseases!

Well that’s the Indian reality now. True, we never were much bothered about philosophy. Aberrations like philosophy happen in history of a people, you know there always will be strange guys in any community who worries about meaning of life and life after death and useless things like that. The more intelligent never bothers about them. They have other things to worry about. Like making a living and putting others down etc.

When these interesting and vital activities are out there who cares to spend time searching inside to find truth. In fact only the idle and the useless would even think of philosophy as an activity, barring the chairs of philosophy in the west that has made it into a specialization and a bread winner in the last century.

The sad fact is that now no one can claim to be a philosopher in the west unless one belongs to either a continental or analytical stream of philosophical approach and has concocted a theses one some subjects like “ the sado-masochistic tendency in Nietzsche’s Philosophy” ( Am I being too simplistic and too Freudian here? Okay then let it be about “The problematic of will to reason in Nietzsche’s philosophy”). The point is unless one has a PhD in something such; one has little right to call oneself a philosopher in the west. Sad it is!

Luckily every Indian can still talk on high philosophy when there is nothing else to do. We have been through testing times in history; we were the ‘subjects’ of too many invaders to become anything less than philosophical.

You see, when aliens dominate the land and rule one’s body and soul nothing is left but sweet philosophy to console one ( No, no, I am not talking of the aliens belonging to the ‘gray’ or ‘reptilian’ sort that is supposed to have bases on our globe, god forbid! These aliens were of human origin and were from other lands and other cultures. How words lose their original meanings and acquire new ones in the passage of time!).

It is ever so easy to blame Karma and fate than our own petty inside squabbles and weakness of character that made the foreign domination possible!

Well, we have another sort of invaders in our midst now. We are said to harbor six nice illnesses in our land. They have very sweet names too -Malaria, Chikungunya, Filariasis, Japanese Encephalitis, Leishmaniasis and Dengue fever. I am not sure if they are the six deadly ones but certain reports make me believe so. One consolation is that India is not alone in this. Climatic changes and the resulting bug mutations are making them more drug resistant and fatal.

We can’t stop nature from having it out with us for our sins can we?

People are taking vaccinations (whether they are effective or not) right and left, especially if they are planning to visit this blessed country. These vaccinations seem expensive and there are moans of “watchagonnado” from them too.

Hygiene – mental, physical, and of the environs seems to be the only way to remedy the situation. We can’t go back to the stone ages to get the nature right. If we limit the air pollution alone we could save eight million deaths in the next two decades the WHO says.

Well our suffering might be over before that according to the Mayan calendar. There are but a few months to 2012!

Desires

2011-07-19T10:39:00.001-07:00

Lust is something we never fail to recognize. We can shut our eyes and call it by something else. But it’s a primordial ‘effluent’ that is knowable by its grasping insistence.

It can’t be denied. Nobody has done it till date.

It’s so tangible as to be nearest to our very being. Many have tried to drive one type of craving out by replacing another in its place. The sad thing is, most of them never know that the replacement is ineffective, since the thirst driving it, is a part of our right to be.

This hunger is there because there is something to crave for and everywhere there-is-something, it naturally generates lust- Because lust is world in its widest sense.

It appears in many guises in our lives and it involves most of our senses. May be the mind is the organ that lusts and not the others. The other organs might be playing second fiddle to the master tune played by the mind.

There is a theory that mind is everything.

Lust in a being is probably situated in the heart and mostly has no ‘sense’ to it. It doesn’t recognize the intellect and would have nothing to do with reason. Its domain is the irreconcilable desire for possession.

We often wonder how many forms this can take.

For example one gets curious about why people drink human blood. I am not talking of vampires here, yet there are at least a few people in the world who crave for blood and consume it.

And there is this report that a villager in India has been drawing blood from his wife with a syringe and ingesting it for the last two years or so. He is reported to be saying that it gives him strength. Such cases are not rare. Some people report such a craving in all cultures.

Well there are those who abhor, and delight in, and would not be judgmental about this practice. Some of those who criticize it point to the health hazard involved in it. They believe people can catch all sorts of fatal illnesses drinking blood. But there may be no scientific basis for this assumption since ingested blood has to survive the culturing of stomach acids to be a part of the body, barring in the instance where it comes into contact with a cut in our body and gets in the blood stream directly.

Apart from medical issues, why do people do that? Could there be psychological reasons for this behavior? There are certain instances where hired killers sprinkle the blood of their victims in their food before consuming it. What prompts them to do that?

It is hard to say. Some of us would like to consider it as a morbid state of mind and a sickness resulting from psychological problems.

The killer or the drinker of blood may think otherwise. They may say that there is life force in blood and they are absorbing it by ingesting it.

One also wonders why some god’s are gratified by a bloody sacrifice!

It may all be just lust in the end. The desire for possessing something we do not have or imagine that we do not have.

Disguises

2011-07-18T11:42:00.001-07:00

Noon it was. May be a bit towards the eventide, or may be a bit more nearer to the noon time. That didn’t matter. For the glare was noonish and that was enough…..

Hell.

What makes a time of day noon?

-Heat, intensity, vividness?

Whatever…………. one fails to recall.

This was noon. Of that one was sure. And of that the faces around me were sure.

None needed any watches. None needed any computation. None needed any consultation.

And too, none of us had taken our watches with us.

A watch is not nice, it’s a mechanical demon we strap on our wrist to dissect our mind into tiny pieces. It’s a drainer of energies, it’s a mean device that watches us with derision and is watched by us with fear.

Yes a watch is not nice. It plans events in advance for us and take our compliance for granted. It fragments our being to suit the social monster that stalks us all the time.

No, we need no watches on holidays.

We were at the sea shore and had taken a few dips in the lukewarm water. None of us were real swimmers. We have all been brought up in the shallow ponds at our villages where we swam with jumping frogs and slithering water snakes.
This was bliss to us.

What was undulating before us was something inexplicable and vast. It was might in motion. It was imagination on the move. It was a billion bosoms thirsting in a trillion sighs.

New to us this was.

Just now I was waist deep in water. And before that, the others were there, splashing about, jumping around, till they thought it was safer on shore.

The water caressed me with its thousand hands. Now like a baby pulling at my chest hair, now with large calloused palms rubbing me over so that the skin tingled. Now enveloping me in embraces that only in shuddering love I have met, now patting me on the head like some sane and wizened village elder, now grasping my elbow like a trusted friend, now with the warmth of a mothers bosom, now in the glee of a long met brother, now with the advances of lass in passion, now admonishing like a parent in anger………..

The sea was alone with me and it was playing with me.

When did the play stop and the time begin……..?

I still don’t know.

What we delight in

2011-07-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

I am not particular about anything in life and most everything is permissible to me in this laughable existence we lead. But certain things affect me in a way that is almost biological. One of them is hearing somebody lie without any reason at all for it.

Now, we all lie, only the dumb and the retarded don’t do that. May be they can very well do without lying too, being protected by powers that is unknown and unintelligible to us. But that is not the case with others like our own poor selves. We have no one to protect us when we land in a soup and so we need to lie to save our asses sometimes. This ‘saving the asses’ might not even be necessary in that particular situation. But we don’t know that, we haven’t been blessed with the foresight and clairvoyant ability to see what is in store for us in the future.

With meager available data we normally take this plunge and lie bare faced. It saves our skin some of the time, but it might land us in some trouble on other occasions. But this is a risk we are willing to take and probably that is worth taking too. Even the mighty do that on occasions and have been doing from time immemorial…….

You see, you and her are doing something very privet and the tiny tot wakes up and starts to cry.

“Don’t kill my mummy, please daddy, don’t kill my mummy”

Well you have no intention of killing her. You rather intend to enliven her somewhat and you have been hard at work at it for sometime too. You are pretty heated up and a bit breathless and nothing other than stars and dull specks of light is visible to your inner eye.

The mom starts to laugh and you accompany her with a helpless and pitiful hraw hraw hrrr and try to slide off her inconspicuously. This is difficult at the best of times and you are no acrobat.

The tiny tot is immediately put at ease by its mom’s laugh and dries its eyes to scramble on to the bed without heeding you and looking crossly and suspiciously at you.

You wonder, from where the thing gets all this possessiveness. It’s not from you; you are a giver, even when there are no takers.

The mother tries to sooth the tiny tot by murmuring “it’s nothing my darling”

“But what were you doing?” It enquires.

“Well mommy had difficulty in breathing and papa was trying to breathe in to help me “The mother is whispering with a mischievous look at you.
“Now you are alright? “ The tiny tot is concerned. It can’t imagine a life without mommy.

“Yes my dear, now that you are with me, mommy can’t but be alright, isn’t it so my jewel?”

“Yes I will help you” It clasps her with all its might. You enviously look on.

The point is we all lie, even without intending to do so. You wouldn’t go and say to the kid that:

“You know pet, we were just trying to make more things like you to pester us all through our lives” Even if you feel like saying it -Whatever the sex educationists say.

No, you don’t do that. That is not done and we can’t help lying at those moments.

But when people intentionally lie to gain some selfish ends I feel it very raw in my bones.

I don’t just dislike it, I totally hate it.

Cold has its own domain

2011-07-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

Mostly the cold comes armed with claws of iron and it's silent and cunning. It stealthily buries itself inside chinks of wooden walls and floors and pounces on you unawares.

Smooth is its operation. Stalking us through the stunted hilly terrain into our dens and circling us down like some do to an animal hunted down on the sly.

It clamps its freezing pincers on where it matters- the heart and suddenly the center become porous. Icy air passes through the portals to inside and out. The heart then becomes a honeycomb filled with something frigid and gaseous.

Gotcha!............It murmur's.

And then comes that dumb laugh with its mean and clinking teeth.

But you are not dumb, you were expecting the onslaught and have covered yourselves in woolen sweaters and mufflers. You may not fancy room heaters. But you have beefed up your defenses. Still the cold is cunning. It keeps in the shadows and strangely has become demure. In your sleep, when the cap or muffler slips from your ears, it starts licking your ears lasciviously. It has suddenly turned amorous.......!

More about our fencing match later.

Back

2011-07-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

So, how are you guys!

Still at whatever you were doing before I guess? It’s not bad, you know, doing the same things ad infinitum. I do it all the time, never become reformed. In fact some sages say that’s what’s we have been doing from the time immemorial

Anyway it’s great you know, being persistent and not giving up. Methinks that’s how the mankind discovered a lot of things, not to say ‘invented’ some others.

Sadly, I have not been very inventive in my life. I lack the genius for it. I am the guy who used the word ‘technology’ doggedly without seeking a replacement for it in my most famous post till date. I now shudder at the usage. You can search my site for the post. It’s hilarious. Not that it felt hilarious at the time of writing it and also when certain very lucid and intelligent souls criticized it. I must admit that it felt terrible.

I actually cried a bit!

Well as we get on in years we become less sensitive and less ‘imaginative’. So I can now safely look at the post and not cry for my imperfections. It’s not my imperfections per se I know, it’s my lack of skills in authorship (but then I have never been very skilful in anything as you should know by the way I ‘pen’ my words).

Honestly, it’s some gargantuan ship, this authorship. I can never be a sailor in it let alone its master. I have stopped trying even for the post of a cook in it if it’s any consolation to you.

Still, even a person like me has a few things to say now and then. And in my country everybody supposedly has the right to freedom of expression. They say “we gave it to ourselves” and they are trying hard to take it away too. Anyway one likes hearing one’s own voice sometimes! One has to check whether the sound box is working alright.

Well that’s about it for this time.

Boos taurus

2011-06-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

Whoosh, and so the major moron appears on the scene and takes up his glass of milk. Did I say milk, I must have been mad. This ‘milk’ is not milked from some species called Bos taurus; this is distilled from some other source, and is damn heady once it is ingested.

What the heck, can one be not at peace with oneself for sometime in the day at least? Especially when one is at the office and is new. One is bound to feel nervous, and alienated and forlorn and doesn’t know a single thing about spatial aspects of one’s surroundings and is only aware of one’s desire to fit in the boots one has put on somehow.

Yeah, it’s just then that the thirst to drink this milk and offer it to others becomes a big need.

And so the moron takes charge and offers ‘milk’ for free and there are enough morons around to lap it up by the tubful and become friends. And you know you will murder for a such a friend if he just asks for it. I, you or the world could be a victim of this wonderful ingestion of pure and pristine ‘milk’.

Well it doesn’t end there does it, the milk has to be imbibed in camera and possibly in the midst of officials belonging to the other sex, if circumstances permit it.

Well, well, well, nice and nice and nice.

So the world moves on and the scum lives on!

Eucalyptus and onion

2011-04-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

" Do I contradict myself?
I am large I contain multitudes"

They say its a folly to help your enemies, and they could be right. For your enemies would probably use the help to undermine you later, that is, if you give them a chance. This is as certain as the sun rises everyday.

But some of you wouldn't mind that would you? You would like to be the good Samaritan's to your enemies. You believe in doing good, even to your enemies. You would like to turn the other cheek all the time.

Oh man, not good for you, no not ever. Other than your cheek's getting bashed up, there is never any good coming out of it. Your opponents would relish such an opportunity to get you at a disadvantage. And weakness is the greatest disadvantage that you can have when you have enemies.

Weakness breeds doubts about right and wrong, about good and bad, about courage and cowardice. Weakness tends to make you believe one is the other, that bravery is cowardice and chickening out is the best of practices.

My advice is,

If you kill (even when you kill insects), do it in style, do it without regrets, do it as if you were born to do it. Not a touch of remorse should hamper your thoughts. That is the only way to do it. Do it with relish and panache.

But there are those amongst you who have been brought up with compassion for the vanquished at heart. Apart from being the most desultory feeling of all, it is a damned weakness. It is a human aberration. There are no models out there in the world for such a thing other than among humanity. This is a selfish preoccupation developed into a social syndrome.

So don't help your enemies if you can help it, it will turn out bad almost always.

Okay, if you have any doubts, ask around, people will tell you gruesome tales about the way things turned out when they did something god for those they hate. Well may be its not the nicest way to behave for those you call your enemies, but do they care? After all they are enemies, and they have to be true to their calling. They believe that the help they got was a lapse of judgment on your part.

May be they are right. In the first place you had no business to help them. If you did, it is for you to take the consequences.

Yet to me it has always been otherwise. I often do help my enemies, with both money and might. Why, you may ask. Is it because I am the nicest guy around in the world? Hardly my dears, hardly. I couldn't care less if my enemies go to the blazes. I would in fact be so glad that I would give a party to myself in such an event.

So then why do I try to help my foes?

Good question, one that I have often asked myself and the only answer that came out was that I am a bigger devil than they are. My reasons seem highly suspicious in truth. By doing that I am trying to assert my superiority over them in no uncertain manner. I would always make sure that that is the case, that I have them in my power and I am willing to kick them out of trouble just because I can do it.

Just because I can do it.

I would have no illusions about the out come of the event or its future ramifications. I normally am a confirmed misanthrope. I would not be easily deceived by the tricks others are trying to pull over me. In fact, I don't recognize anyone as my enemy at all in the truer sense. I mostly take my opponents as buttresses to bolster my ego. I don't give such a great value for them in my life. They are just a few nonentities to make use of, in my journey through life or to strengthen myself.

So in helping them I am not really acting out of compassion, I am really acting out of a necessity I find in myself, that of needing to distribute largess to others who ever they may be. Its not magnanimity at all. Its just a style of doing things to me.
What if they become stronger and come after me?

Well let the poor slobs try!

Oh my sweet (union) mamas in law

2011-04-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

Mothers-in-law are tough nuts to crack, or so the experienced say.

They usually have a kind of a love -hate relationship with their sons in laws. And they would kill for their children, even going to the extent of doing totally away with their sons in laws to save their offspring.

These are all rumors. But as they say, there won't be smoke without fire.

May be this is something inherent in them or in the human race, who knows.

The problem that I am facing now has something to do with what I call mother-in-law complex among some of the staff I have to deal with. They were sworn enemies of one another before my advent to the scene. Initially the wimps used to shed cold tears when speaking of each other.

They hadn't seen anything other than effeminate buffoonery among their compatriots till I arrived and yet even that had made them cry. The moment I appeared they seem to have realized the bigger threat that is around and are now bunching together to hold up each others asses.

Their stupid union also seems to be afraid of me and is egging them on. They usually send scouts to survey how things are going with me. The other day a consumptive idiot came on such a mission and what's more the “single breath' had the audacity to confront me in person.

There are other such imbeciles around on call too. Our own Katrina Kaif is always holding on to a phone just to get a chance to call such despicable specimens into the workplace.( She is Forty, but dresses like she is sixteen and believes she is the heart throb of millions! I can bear conceit in proper places, but a hillbilly girl in her forties showing off like a teenager is too much to bear. Why couldn't the woman wear something decent?)

In short I have many mother in laws around in the place now.

Being the only real guy around (there are other 'guy's' if you want, but they are none better than apology of guy's) I am feared . None of the other members of the effeminate community likes to face me alone. They are probably afraid they would get 'violated' by my silent machismo.

Who knows I may have emasculated the previously male segment of the community by my mere presence among them. Only one lion could rule a pride!
This is hard on the subverted erstwhile males and they have now become converted into mothers in laws and is currently starting a fund to keep themselves fit for the fight against my masculinity.

Of course all this is their imaginations, but what to do, when fear enters submissive minds they can only act in a certain manner.

Continents

2011-03-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

Tell me this, what would you do if somebody has you by the scruff of the neck and that somebody is much stronger than you?

Well, the answer is obvious; nobody likes to look that in- dignified before the others, so you would look around for support. And maybe, just maybe there would be others who have had the same experience and they would hopefully come to your aid. But that help may not be enough to extricate you from the brutal arms of the adversary.

Okay, I don’t know why I get this feeling that others believe I am kind of a strongman and have them by their necks. I don’t normally do that (that would be pretty heathen wouldn’t it, though there are enough people out there in the world who need some real shaking up in that way?) But that is another thing.

What I am worried about is the fear I instill in people around me, I am not joking about this, they really go in fear of me. There is no reason for that too, other than I have certain principles that might be seen as old fashioned in these unscrupulous times. Sadly some mistresses are beefing up their defenses with help of hubbies and irregulars. Because there is a charm in helping the weaker sex there are enough irregulars to go around.

Don’t mistake me; I have nothing against the character of these women. They would probably even cry if someone throws them a dirty look. But it’s not their chastity that is on examination here. It’s their fear, fear makes people club together, to attack together and to defend together.

It’s not only the women who fear me I learn, but all the effeminate guys in the environment are either thrilled at my nearness (so that there would be goose pimples rising over their hands) or normally empties their bladders at my very sight. This is not a rare happening too; I see it all the time. It may be an epidemic of incontinence.

Whatever it is, the poor darlings have got a whole continent of cowards armed to the teeth and I have to watch my step every time. They are said to have heard threatening that they would make me pack my bag and go.

The things that fear makes people do!

Huddles

2011-03-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

May be there is something in a story, may be there’s only a story and everybody knows its end.

Whatever the case may be, I am interested in stories, if it has some savor to it the better. There are unsavory stories too, I like them sometimes because of the message they contain.

Aneesh came to me with a story just like that.

It’s a story about repressed feelings and acting out of those feelings.

It seems there were these few comrades; all of them would give their lives’ for others. They gave more than their lives it seems, and that is the story.

In the end, there was a big skirmish, all of their own making. Now they are huddled together and is giggling insensibly because there is nothing else left to do. Poor Aneesh, he seems to have been a member of this club too.

The story was of a denial of some sort. The denied became angry. Now certain people deny certain others certain things because they don’t like those people. What is denied is not of great importance. Its denial was a ruse, was about taking sides.

The denied and the deniers did not win. They realized it long after somebody put up a few notes.

Showing sympathy at the right time has benefits. Now these poor souls are giggling at each other.

Let them have their peace of mind!

Well Aneesh, you are a sad soul. You keep it up

The Alien /UFO question

2011-03-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

I have been reading up on the Alien /UFO question lately. I may have been remiss in not doing so before. In fact I should have noted that we (the human race) are a culture which has lost everything we held dear to our heart and is in search for something to replace them with. There is a terrible vacuum growing inside our hearts which needs be filled. This fact has entered into every mind out there and is possibly generating newer quests into the known and unknown realms of knowledge. This search is not limited to the realm of science and philosophy anymore. It’s everyone’s business now.

This is a nice and welcome phenomenon, instead of receiving it with a fair bit of optimism; I may have dismissed it summarily. Thus I am in error no doubt, for no line of enquiry into the unknown is without value and can only be proved wrong or right after all its facets have been unraveled.

As a person who can laud the human spirit in all its endeavors to find truth I should have been prepared to accept any new form of interest without questioning its basis. In fact what is the real basis of human enquiry other than the quest for truth? No doubt, the intelligent have reduced our civilization to such a pass that we do not any more believe in a central truth. Instead we have relative truths, fragmentary realities which lead us to nowhere other than into the realm of uncertainties.

The scientists have even lifted up the principle of uncertainty into the status of a minor deity. No wonder the general public has lost hope and is searching in the weirdest quarters to find a believable explanation for our existence. This need is so vital to us; we yearn to find a foot-hold in a crumbling world. Some shrewd customers in the hierarchy of power have been working on this nature of our consciousness and have supplied the rudiments of a system to further this line of enquiry.

Instead of god’s we now have aliens.

I know these guys are after Control; it’s only a version of divide and rule. But yet it may yield something in its wake. It may even surprise those who have started it in the end. There have been such instances in the human history. I can’t rule out the chance of something happening in this manner. Yet my primary thought is that of caution, we can’t be blinded by our inner yearnings for an explanation to disregard the barest common sense. I have a reason for saying this.

Our mind is quite incapable of standing by itself. We need something to rely on, some host mechanism to fall back upon. That’s why we invented god in the first place. Once we invented him we were living in peace, untouched by trouble and certain that there is someone (though mythical) who is looking after our interests. We were only in search of a prop, not anything reliable, for inside our hearts we knew that such a thing is impossible. We sort of filled god up with every fine thing we located amongst ourselves. The god grew and became so obese that he became stagnant. Now he is so blown out of proportions that he can’t even take care of himself. He needs wars and missionaries to do that. But even they are not sure whether the god is alive or not!

Our personal god has died a sad death and there can’t be any question about it. The only remaining option is that suggested by Nietzsche of elevating ourselves into the status of Gods or supermen. This is an internal exercise and can only be supplemented frugally from without. Our consciousness is evolving and is starting to realize its true potential. We do not need to supplement it from without. The alien question may be one such that’s directing us towards this state.

Anyway my heart goes out to the ardent souls who get involved with the alien /UFO thing on the net. Believe me, I am not faking it and making a joke at their expense as some do. I am in earnest here! I like these guys for what they are. They are honest souls and they are after the truth. Sincerity is one thing which still touches my heart. I go all mellow inside whenever I see a sincere human soul -sincere to any cause that is, this feeling of mine is blind to the creeds they belong to. Sincerity is a rare quality in a human being, while most distrust it in people, I admire it.

It is nice to believe in something than not believe in anything. It takes some guts to do that. Faith is childlike; it won’t take nay for an answer. So whenever I see a person with faith I am delighted, I feel protective about them, I feel worried that they might lose this faith someday and would be broken. Simple belief has something going for it. It gave us the myths, they were vibrant and looked after us for a long time, till people tried to kill them with their superior knowledge.

I am a great fan of mystery, have been always. I love mysterious beings and mysterious happenings. Our ordinary life is so dull and un- interesting that we may need to take recourse to fantasy every now and then to relieve the tedium. So I have nothing against the Aliens and UFO’s, the fact is that they have now become a part of our consciousness and would remain for some time still. So I love pro Alien /UFO set. I love their simple hearted belief in the thing. In fact I love those who have a simplistic belief and approach in life. I envy them in fact. I am too disillusioned to be so. I have drunk all the bitterness of the world up, to be like that, in my beliefs.

But sadly I don’t yet believe in aliens or UFO’s. This is not merely because I haven’t seen any of them in my life (I don’t consider that thing I saw to be any alien vehicle, though I joked about it, it could have been an optical illusion,) but it is more because we do not need them for our growth or anything else. We may have been an infant civilization once; we may have needed help then. May be someone provided it and may be they didn’t. That’s all past now. Now we have more pressing problems with us than the aliens.
Yet I am ready to defend the right of those who believe in these things in all the ways I can. Honestly I would prefer dying by the hand of a sincere believer than by the hand of some scrupulous charlatan who fakes his beliefs, if I had to die so. To be frank most of us are such charlatans, and great dissemblers in our lives. We may say that we have no other options and that may be right too, but it muddies up the world terribly.

So my well wishes to you, alien-ufo believers……

Self doubts

2011-03-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Here I am, troubled by self doubts again.

But really, why are people like this, we do one thing and they guess some thing else. We want to help and they turn hostile!

Hostility turned inwards is hate, and hate can be a little too much to handle at times.

Here I was trying to help a poor bugger thinking he deserved it, and it turns out he doesn’t need it……

He does need it badly, but wouldn’t admit it; it amounts to the same thing. We get laughed at for what amount of good we did.

Well, I know, no sane person really cares about what others think of him and what he does, it is not that, it is the hidden animosity that is troubling. Not from others but the recipient. No, we don’t expect them to be servile because we did a favor to them -for the rest of their lives. That would be obscene. But at least we expect recognition.

Well, who does recognize whom these days! We do a good turn to somebody out of good will and we appear as the dumbest person alive!

My friends say I was crazy to do that. The problem is, people have become wise, and none expects any thing from any one other than by way of coercion.

That is acceptable, because there is no loss of face involved. I should have guessed it; none needs any crumbs of bread other than by way of the sweat of their ‘wicked’ brow.

Hello Satan, how are you! (Perhaps I am a little too self righteous?)

The case of Aandi Pandaram

2011-03-20T10:55:00.001-07:00

Something has triggered the memory of a story in my mind.

It’s the story of Andi Pandaram.

Aandi Pandaaram was what people call vileness personified, the like, (hopefully) you would never come across in your life. He had swindled, robbed, cheated, humiliated, maimed, and hurt everyone he had ever met. There were hardly any exceptions (He was such a democrat in that regard). People used to shrivel up at the bare mention of this unimaginably inhuman character. Like all such enviable men, it was his wont to inflict numberless physical and mental tortures on his children and grandchildren. He used to make sure that they never spent a day with a dry eye.

But even inestimable men like him have to die one day and at last his day had come. The sublimely wicked, as you can guess, are generally very intelligent (there could be exceptions like the ‘Assange’ if you like , but they don’t really count do they? The poor slobs, they don’t even know what they are doing!) and hence he could guess that his sojourn on the earth was about to be over.

So the irrepressible man called all his children and grand children to his bedside and spoke to them in great anguish.

‘Oh, my very own’ (the unfortunate guys quaked at the implication of these words) ‘oh my very own, I have sinned against God, People and of course against you guys. But all that is now sadly past (he could barely suppress a wistful sigh while saying so). And I am about to leave this earth. As you can see I am penitent; I grieve over what I have done.

He paused a moment for effect. His offspring stood there mute, barely believing what they were hearing. Even in that weak condition the man’s force of evil and command over them were such that none even dared to think of saying anything in reply.

The guy looked contritely and almost benignly on his poor subjects and went on.

I know that once I pass-away demons would take possession of my soul and burn me in hell.

He stopped again and searched their faces for some traces of emotion, however light it was. His subjects were not very intelligent, but from years of experience they had learned to keep everything like feelings from their faces if they could help it while around the old man.

He now went on:

But please remember that I fathered you all and it is your duty to save me from this fate. The only way you could do so is to make it appear that I have been punished enough in this life itself. Would you promise me that you would do as I say?’

The poor fellows (may be secretly glad that they are about to be finally rid of the veritable beast) promised this.

The old horror continued.

‘Then my children, soon after I die, you should strip me down to my bare essentials and should drive a large pike up my arse as a punishment for my worldly sins”

The listeners were stunned, but the Aandi Pandaaram made them promise.

He died peacefully (like all the heinous do) and the faithful children did as he had instructed. Poor morons, they must have relished the act, no doubt. But the repercussions were dreadful. The news of the act spread far and wide and all those who heard of it were horrified. To hate someone so and do such things to even to the corpse!

Some of the more conscientious immediately informed the Police and Aandi Pandaram’s offspring’s had to spend the rest of their lives inside a high security prison and had to do hard labor for life.

Some never let go even after they die!

What is it to be free?

2011-03-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright, fear not, this freedom has little to do with the kind of freedom that a Buddha or a Sankaracharya were fond of, this has entirely to do with the supposed freedom that the humanity is said to have. Is there any such freedom at all, or should we laugh and say “Freedom is not free” with the unknown author of the quote?

Curiously Martin Luther King Junior seems to second this view. To him “Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” No doubt he was talking from the point of view of those coveting freedom but sadly he never could achieve the status of a distributer of it. You need to be a ruler to do that. It is to be believed that the rulers would have craters full of freedom to dispose of.

We all have heard of things like ‘freedom struggle’, ‘freedom fighters’ and “one’s right to be free” and the like. There are still people rebelling all over the world against their rulers to obtain this enviable commodity.

The Irish have been at it for a considerable time now. The Libyans are fighting a bloody war to win it, against government troops. Several other people have also turned against their rulers (these rulers are then called “despots” or ‘autocrats’) for this same purpose. The same ruler can be both liberator and oppressor at various periods in his life. Some are both at the same time!

Don’t ask me how!

So then what is the content of freedom? Is it something that can be distributed by the ruling or is there some method by which one can bottle this commodity up and keep it under lock and key to deny it to some and serve it to some others, like serving it only to the moneyed or to one’s own people or one’s favorite allies? Are there different sorts of freedom such as the freedom to speak, the freedom to think, and also as Gandhi say’s the freedom to err? Yes, what is the content of freedom?

The dictionary gives us the following definition of freedom: “The condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints”. If we agree with the definition the only thing left to decide is who has this power and who else haven’t. For this power can’t be exercised by all at the same time. Maybe you could just get away with the freedom of thought, because it’s mostly incoherent and internal. Most of us have learned to not to mind that.

If somebody thinks us a dud we could manage to think of them as the ‘dud-almighty’ and can go on with our lives. But this could not be the case with free speech and free act. You would not let someone exercise their free power to call you a dud to your face. That might prompt you to use your freedom to ‘act’ leading up to certain terrible results and both being admitted to a hospital where the treatment is not free.

So who has this power and who has not? If everyone is out to exercise this power to be free there would not be any one left to exercise it at all. May be this is why some think that freedom is the product of order. It is a contradiction in terms I know, order is nothing short of restraint. And our dictionary says that freedom is free from restraint.

There seems to be some problem here. I believe in freedom, it is something inherent in my nature and I think this preference for freedom is inviolable. But there seems to be no sense in going for freedom unless others can share it with me. The trouble is the extent to which I can trust others and allow them to share it. This brings on talks or restraint and your freedom is only up to the nose of the other guy. Then I think about a consensus. It is reached and I start to take the consensus as the guardian of my freedom. That in turn brings on laws of conduct and that brings on more laws and law enforcers and over and top of everything a law-firm called the government.

It enjoys a sort of monopoly in law making. It passes laws, implements laws, and protects laws. And suddenly it becomes law. The power to think, speak and act free belongs to it alone. It is sometimes called the king, the socialism, the capitalism, or any other cute names it can find to describe itself. In whatever manner it describes itself, it is god, and only it has the power to distribute freedom.

Well you see how freedom gets bundled out of the door the moment I start making judgments on others and becomes frightened of them. Sadly, I and mine have been making such judgments from the time immemorial. That’s how slavery originated, both mental and otherwise.

Perhaps that’s why Orwell said that “Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two makes four. If that is granted, all else follows.”

The fixed

2011-03-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

If you are sore at heart you don’t see things aright. The pain adds flavors and colors to everything you see and make them appear twisted or ill-shaped.

This is nothing new in the world; there have never been a human being who could cut off this strange thing called the heart from the scheme of things and sub serve the behest of the intellect.

In fact what we call logic is not something primarily based on the intellect at all. It’s mostly an effort to interpret a situation in the light of our hearts desire. Socrates interpreted beauty as usefulness, Schopenhauer as will. Who is there to hold that both the stands are not derived of some emotional involvements?

We fashion world views according to the most intense set of emotions that we encounter in our lives. For example poverty drives people towards socialism; no amount of preaching of the well-fed priests would induce them to think that it’s as hard for the rich to get into the heaven as it’s hard for a camel to go through the needle hole. To their minds the rich may find a way to enlarge a needle hole enough to get their camels easily through.

Such things have happened before!

They don’t want a heaven somewhere in the future, they want it now or they want a heaven they have some involvement in creating.

One cannot blame them can one? The guy’s are not really thinking about the general welfare of the people most of the time, what they have in mind are the things they had to go through in their lives to survive. Those hardships put them with others undergoing the same predicaments.

What I am trying to suggest is that logic and reason are subservient to the promptings of emotions than otherwise. The Alexander or the British Empire was only interested in conquests and not whether they were logical in nature. The ‘white’ supremacists believe they are the only race loved by god and it’s visible in their skin color. The Jews believe that they are the chosen race by god, the Muslims does not lag much behind.

To the Marxists the world would only be freed through their system.

If there is anything common among these different faiths, that is the total lack of real and hard thought behind their different and opposing stands. They are all constructed on the foundations of emotionalism. Volumes are written in support of these different faiths by their followers. All of them would quote the texts or situations or happenings that would be useful to their claims alone.

It’s all a matter of heart, not mind, all the materials that are introduced in support is prompted by an illogical desire to save one’s own faith.

I am not claiming that I have stated hitherto unknown facts about life; many others have done these in more logical fashion for us. But these thoughts came to my mind as I was trying to discern some meaning into the actions of certain of my colleagues who are in some sort of fix currently.

Who let the dogs loose?

2011-03-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what the hell is happening; the world has come totally unhinged for me. May be it is not a new feeling, may be some of us feel it some time in their lives. But the feeling is intense.

It is as if the whole hell is breaking loose and the sky is falling down. And no I am not merely speaking of the disaster in Miyagi. It’s terrible, it’s sad. I have always liked those hardy and small statured people. The scenes that are brought by TV are painful, but as I said earlier, nature nurtures many such calamities in its clichéd ‘womb’.

Maybe it doesn’t like men anymore, may be it doesn’t like the sins that we commit, maybe it is after us in real earnest. On many parts of the world, rains are drying up, rivers are growing forests in the middle, and the temperature is in the heavens. Soil is fast becoming uncultivable.

It’s a total mess. The earth’s axis is also said to have shifted four inches after the tsunami.

Now don’t shiver up. We are not going to die immediately. We may all die off all the same, individually and socially, sometime in the future. We have not been promised by any god that we would go on inhabiting and surviving in this globe called the earth have we been?

No of course not, this is the general belief carried by most of us, barring some teleologists out there, who believe that everything is created for a purpose and for us to make use of. Well they may be right, who are we to say that they are wrong. These are the times that people are slowly shifting away from the scientific approach and are embracing all kinds of new beliefs.

Even the discovery channel is showing, ‘’psychic investigations”. May be they believe in the crap. May be the little light specks they are showing on screen are ghosts or souls or something like that. May be the creaks and tapping that’s heard are real and ghostly.

But they are not our real problem are they? The real problem that we face is of the ghosts that are amongst us and undermining everything that we have stood for. These are the ghosts that we have created, of misuse of power, misdirection or resources, misinterpretation of signs.

These go by the name of politicians.

I know you are on my side on this and shares this distaste of politicians, at least, that’s what makes me go on. You know this thing about being a member of civil society and having the need to communicate. On this point most would agree with me. There even seems to have been a guy who said “I may not agree with what he says, but I will lay down my life for his right to say it”

Okay it was not about me that he said it. But that doesn’t alter a single thing. As long as we are members of a free society (not all agree on this point. There are views that most of the race is only good for hard labor) we have a right to put our thoughts into words. None of these are big secrets too. We all know the world is where it is, is because of our mismanagement. And we don’t directly manage the world do we? We do, or supposedly get it done, though our representatives.

And these guys have totally made things worse haven’t they?

What could be the answer? Anarchy? Maybe not. But there has to be an enhanced awareness of what’s going on around us. Not the kind of awareness that’s created by the vested interests. But a deeper one, a positive and strong one that’s created out of our own uninfluenced experiences and analysis.

Let’s hope that this enlightenment would permeate into every sphere of human life and make it a better one.

When nature strikes

2011-03-12T00:38:00.001-08:00

When nature takes on the role of a villain there’s nothing man can do about it. This has happened in the past in Sumatra, in Lattur, in California, in Haiti and is happening almost every year in Bangladesh. Lives are lost, structures are swept away, power sources are cut, and fields are turned into marshes overnight.

It’s a giant and awe inspiring spectacle when that happens. Mighty forces are unleashed and they pull everything down on their way to some destination the nature has set. We can only turn mute and look at what’s happening. Every time man finds a remedy for an impending disaster the nature invents a new one or ups the scale on which its forces are let loose. There’s no let up.

And there are no real remedies, the only option is flight. The history of man’s progress is the history of flight both from nature without and nature within. We fly from nature by fortifying our defenses against it.

When the nature wants blood it gets it every time. Men knew of this from the time they knew how to reason. They invented gods by reasoning thus but they were just children of our imaginations and knew not how to help us. The failed gods led us to the only truth that we could find- that of the unity of man and nature, that of the single truth of existence.

But philosophy wouldn’t forestall disasters. Even precautions do little to avert calamities. A part of Japan is under floods now, from the pictures that we see the floods have destroyed most of what man has painstakingly built over a lot of years. The waters seem to advance slow but sure on a path of complete destruction.

The Japanese are a resilient people; they have survived unimaginable natural and manmade disasters in the past and I am sure that they would do it again. They are the people who built an economic empire out of a land lacking in resources. It’s a tiny land with giant aspirations; it’s a tiny people with mighty resolve.
I wish well for them and I extend my sympathies with the people on my land to that devastated land and it’s currently suffering people... Let nothing get you down; let the calamity strengthen your resolve to be winners again.

Grab bangles sirrah

2011-03-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

Fright makes even idiots do things that they have never dreamed of doing. Certain of them even hide behind women and scuttles to and fro from places of power to overcome it. They have this strange notion that crowd is a good place to hide themselves. Even the best among men do foot massage to the wicked to extricate themselves from situations that they are afraid of. Fear is a vast domain and its territories extend to places that one never remembers of. It’s mostly subterranean and transfigures one beyond recognition.

When the top-dog is weak and effeminate this affects the whole establishment. This has been happening to mine. There is no use in being not corrupt alone, this any fool can hope to achieve. It’s easy; one has only to recall what one is taught in younger days and develop an obstinacy to stick to it. It’s only a learned behavior and has little moral value in itself. Virtue is not very palatable when it has little thought process behind it.

Now this top dog of mine, he has almost undone the whole of my establishment during his tenure. The whole department is soon going to be extinct and the weakling is still trying to show off as the most moral of men. May be this fate was unavoidable, there are other forces working at it. But he had some sort of a responsibility to make the establishment appear as a useful one in the eyes of the public. This he has failed to do. But still holds forth as the best of moralists around.

“I have done this and I have done that for you” he whines. “I have not even taken a holiday in my service.”

Well nobody asked him not to take a holiday. In fact such guys should take frequent holidays and reflect on what they are doing. Forgetting one’s life for something else is not a good sign in anyone, it’s sloppy behavior. Installed moral code does not mean a single thing unless it helps one to understand something about life and live it accordingly. Such as he fails because, he has a foolish ideal within that says that he should do this and that all through his life. The ideal is not his own, he has not tried to develop one of his own.

But strangely he seems to think that he has some right to claim the imaginary fruits that the constancy to the stupid ‘ideal’ is supposed to have brought to him. We can’t claim others children as our own and try to bring them up. In ordinary life they end in mental institutions. But luckily the moral bogus-pops flourish all over the world and are doing very well.

Well I have nothing against a bit of egoism; I would listen to an unabashed egotist than a trickster posing as a people’s man any day in my life. The egotist at least openly admits his interest in himself while the other expert stabs us when ones back is turned. All his high and mighty speech is only in self interest but he avoids mentioning himself cutely all through it.

But the egoist cannot be irresponsible in life, even the worst among them would have something sensible to say. This is natural since he is bound to exert his brain to some extent to defend himself.

This all came up because the palpable fear that this guy exhibits and his idiotic misjudgments have made the other frightened chicken in the department still worse. Currently a guy who was suspended for misbehavior and has recently reinstated is scurrying to HQ and back in a true blood-hound manner. He is out to get some one’s vitals. And the still better idiot at the HQ seems of the same mind.

What drove such fear into these useless and incompetent morons is beyond my powers of guessing. They are like a frightened lot of women and are alternatively weeping and crying. Who made these into men I wonder, they would not even do well in women’s garbs for some women are at least capable.

The fat boy’s evening foray

2011-03-10T10:12:00.000-08:00

Man, the fat boy was away on serious business, he was out on an inspection it seems. Of course he is not supposed to know anything about any ‘insp’ or ‘ection’; he is just there to look very fat and very dignified. This fact one can safely assume. I had used him in the same capacity once to save another incompetent from making us all a laughing stock in a situation, and he came up trumps. No no, not the unstable and incompetent flop, but our fat beauty. He would look dignified in any situation no doubt, because he already looks forty even though he is only twenty plus.

Talk about maturity. He has it all. May be he doesn’t open his mouth much, that is understandable, it’s a tiny mouth covered in folds of flesh, it’s not very easy to get it open at the best of times. But what of it guys, he manages with his bulk alone and could carry any situation with him by just being there and ogling at all those who are around him with a half sheepish look. This is supposed to drive the fear of god into the spectators.

In a poor land fat guys normally get great respectability. The poor and downtrodden wonders at the bulk and what goes into producing all that flesh. They can’t even imagine how that can be possible. They are in great awe of the rhinoceroses and would behave.

You can guess why the guy was taken to the place of inspection. I have no doubt that the inspection went very well. The incompetent I spoke about have been put in charge of the inspection team. The guy is mentally ill, but is a vast source of deadly poison and would make everybody else go nuts with his scary dramatics. He plays the roles of a real bitch most of the times and is very good at whispering campaigns. He could get people in trouble just by his viciousness. Probably the guys in charge of the station there would be cowed and removed by now. It’s true that everyone who was deputed for the job is better be gotten rid of. But you know sometimes it is like that in the world. Those who does all the real shit gets fired and the shitters get to bask in glory.

Well the delegation of nit wits have not all come back in the evening. Only the fat one came back. It is said that the guy had to take something to his warlord who dislikes visiting the workplace and would be cocooned up at his house at all times in the day. He likes to play with children it is reported, and what more would be useful than seeing children grow up, it is the most important and time consuming of all jobs. Women might do it very well. But when men does it its remarkable. A short man gets to be someone big like that.

Yeah our fat boy, (he could be used as a buoy) has come back in the evening more serious than ever. He is bursting at seams (literally too) with great importance. He has to carry some papers to the warlord and the warlord has to take it to the higher ups. It’s mostly just plain crap and nothing else. But the way the guys behave completely beats me. What is so secretive about plain government work, and why can’t it be done at the office than somewhere else? Well you can keep asking these questions till you are hoarse.

There wouldn’t be any answer at all. The people may be are waiting for an answer too. But as you very well know it won’t be forthcoming at all. Answer the people, god forbid, would anybody do that, not even when you are in the deepest of hells, that’s impossible. Don’t we know how to manage people, don’t we know how to trick them and make them believe that they are not really being taken for a ride but instead their interests are being seriously looked after.

So this mysterious thing they are conveying to the warlord would be of the greatest shitty importance. It keeps them occupied and in good humor. No wonder why the fat boy looks down on every one now and remarks to me that he would only be by the Monday. Well he is so puffed up with importance that he was terrible to watch.
I Might have been unkind to him perhaps, he could be only doing what he is told. He just rumbled away on his mission making everyone else just unimportant. Would he get to his place of his destination in this apoplectic state? Let us hope that he would. He doesn’t use the normal kind of conveyance. He just rolls to his destination. It is also downhill and with bit of help from kind gravity he would reach there soon enough.

His foray was good. I am still trembling with the gravity of the great spectacle. Now someone says that he is out to get some spending done.
Man! The luck some guys has!

Turning an apothecary into a doctor

2011-03-09T07:36:00.000-08:00

There is the field-work, and there is the work-field. One is a job and the other is a place. A job is done in a place; it of course is an activity. But a place doesn’t have to do anything, it doesn’t move, or at least it is relatively so, considering the ‘old-fangled’ ideas of earth’s rotation and its place in the universe. Nobody cares for such crap anymore; do any, in real life? Bah…….

One should put a wedge in somewhere, and there are enough places in our thought culture to do so.

So of course not, we don’t care for such nonsense in our daily lives. We still go by astrological charts rather than the rules of astronomy in what we do. I know some of you might oppose this notion of mine. But think some more, we live in the midst of superstitions; even the most scientific brain would have some.

Want to wager? Ask a scientist what shoe they put on first. You will be scolded out of the room, there is superstition for you! The scientists are not alone in this; there are brighter people around in the world that is unaware of what they are doing too. Want to hear about it?

Among the guys I know of, there is this superstition that the moment they do what is entrusted to them, their lives would be worthless. Think that you are a driver or plumber or surveyor or a draughtsman, you must not do what you have been paid to do. In fact you should do everything else and make it appear that you are somebody else.

Think hard, you say that you don’t do it? Are you sure, have there been a divine dicta or something that you were destined to do that particular job and nothing else? Oh I know you can’t immediately find the dicta in Toto. Okay I shall take your words for it. You know your limitations and you are satisfied with what you have got in life and occasionally you are even willing to perform the duties connected with it.

Well you are a blessed lot. You know who you are or at least you have a pretty good idea what you are not. Good going friends.

But there are some who are still unsure of what they are apart from the notion that they need money to live in this world. This is a general supposition and one can’t blame people for it. Money may be simply paper, but the paper has certain properties to be afraid of, one being the kind of value even idiots get if they have enough of the thing.

If you call yourself intelligent you know how to respect money and not to do what you are supposed to do. If you do everything as you are required to do wouldn’t you be like an automaton programmed to do certain things under certain specific conditions. You lose prestige that way. And prestige is important. Wonder why our guys don’t do what they are expected to do. It’s all about individuality and human essence.

So if you are a surveyor, you don’t survey, if you are a driver you don’t drive, if you are plumber you don’t plumb, you simply do what else you find out there to bolster your prestige. Let me paint an imaginary situation of what you should do if you are, for example a surveyor.

One thing you must not do at all costs is survey. Let them kill you for it, but you are not to survey at all. The best thing for you to do is to visit no fields if you can help it. Shirk all fields like the very hell and stick hard and fast to your work place. You should be able to do this for at least sixteen years running to be able to establish that you are not a surveyor but something else. All the while you must try to voice your opinions on everything about the work you are really required to do and manage to make someone else do it or find a way to blame every fault on others to get your money bag filled on a monthly basis.

There would come a time when the compounder get promoted to an apothecary (It is much better for them to promote and get you out of your area of work to safeguard the interests of the general public at least) and then you can start pretending that you are something else other than the apothecary.

Life is a great stage for pretending is it not?

Equal to a fault

2011-03-08T08:13:00.000-08:00

Sure, I am not against women, and no, I am no sexist. But the fact remains that the dames that I have under me is a real pain in the ass. They won’t come on time and mostly leave before time. That is sufferable, but the kind of ‘cattiness’ they show sometimes drives me up the walls.

The moment I put my foot down on anything official which they don’t take to, they are like the porcupines with all their bristles out. They glare and breathe fire. To their minds I am the violator unless I see eye to eye with them on all subjects. I must admit that they do a bit of work and often are better organized than most of the guys around. But that is hardly any excuse for disobedience. This disrespect could be there because they consider me thoroughly inferior to some of the more saucy men around.

The guys they like have a ready smile and sugary words with them at all times and would go fetch the moon if the dames asked them to do it. I don’t think it is wrong at all, though I might not be so inclined, as some of these ladies are more capable than the guys that they make use of. But there is nothing wrong with helping others on anything unimportant and it is up to the person to do it or not.

The ladies are so pleased with this attitude of the men folk that they look up on the guys with great warmth, while they hate the sight of me for treating them equal with the guys (Well that’s the point about equality is it not, giving the same privileges to all?). But I have an inkling that the fair sex would still like to be treated with deference. They may be taking it as a right too. Nobody is seen talking about women’s lib anymore and with good reason. Who would want to change a state where they can have all the goodies and enough men to order about?

And everybody knows the kind of power a woman can bestow on men with a single supportive glance, let alone out right support. Their admiration would do wonders to the fragile egos of the macho male. Sadly I have overcome that stage now and do not any more ‘picture’ a girl as the spectator of everything I do whether alone or in a crowd. (I hear that even wizened guys go for it). I have got rid of that mythical goddess.

So I have few complaints, I have been with women and there is little magic left there apart from the basic need that one feels sometimes for them. That would remain with the best of men all through their lives. If there are some moralists and doubters who oppose this view read Gandhi and the lives of saints. You would either become humble and admit that this particular urge is stronger than you think or else would feel so puffed up thinking that you are better than these ‘poor sinners’ ( “man, why do people revere them so, it’s unbelievable!”)

I am not an unkind guy, I have not been denying the dames full freedom and am mostly supportive of all the better things that they do. It is not that they do anything bad; the point is that they would not do anything at all when they are put out. This puts one in some bother sometimes. The ‘invertebrate’ men that are being affected by this lackadaisical approach of the dames would invariably blame the guy in charge than any of the dames.

I have been in some such predicament of late. The reason? That I do not accord preferential treatment to the dames, I treat them the same with men and is as strict with them as with men. It is not that I scold them or dart black looks on them. God forbid! But I like to get things done in the manner they are intended to be done. The women (in this blessed land at least) do get the same kind of perks and the same kind of the money that the men get now. They get more leeway in some matters than men holding the same kind of jobs do.

So the least they can do is to do things the way they have to be done when they are about it. It would not hurt the public if they did so. But strangely their operative idea seems to be that all the guidelines are made for the purpose of being interpreted by them. They interpret them in the manner they think fit and there can’t be any opposition to this line of thought. They know how to process something and when. If it is not done correctly and in time the public may go hang or better still and go on and worship them.

You see the kind of lovely situation that I am in? I am in a fix.

Fat boy is buying

2011-03-07T11:45:00.000-08:00

You can be 24 and be a dud, and you can be 44 and be a bigger dud. If the duds get intoxicated they don’t become any the brighter. They become the nastier.

I have seen all sorts of them; they keep cropping up all over the place all the time. It doesn’t matter what they think about themselves, it doesn’t matter who their friends are, and it doesn’t matter if they know the rule-books by heart or by rote- a dud will always be a dud and would behave like a dud. It's the golden rule for the dud's own country The more incoherent they are the nastier they become.

May be they can't help themselves.

I have been watching a few duds and their cronies at work today. There’s a cheap thrill of doing evil running among them and they were reveling in it. They were all intoxicated, even the ladies. I don’t know if the ladies were really drunk or were drunk with something else.
It was the 24 year old dud who was spending money for the drinks, and because they are all duds and because they think that the world is with them they have put it all down in the middle of day and inside the workplace.

Among them there was this near-fifty dud. The dirt-pot would drink the whole ocean up if it is free. I have seen him coming to the office on all four- well may be not exactly, but he was not very far from it. I had wanted to kick the detestable leer of his face. But sadly I could not do it.

The idiot is in some way handicapped, I would end up in big trouble if I did that, so I had to curb the desire. The ‘twenty four’ guy was the worst, his bulk is tremendous, probably he was made to gobble up everything in his younger days and only a considerable amount of liquor would make all that bulk soak.

These are all duds but they know their enemy when they see one. I can’t but despise them, for the duds have made the place I am in into some filthy hole, it smells all round. They haven’t worked for a single day for the last twenty years or so, there has been nothing to show for these years other than a few blackened desks.

How could one suffer them? My disgust is visible and they don’t like it at all. They have bunched together and are planning something to do to me. They keep jabbering all the time. For the peace of the world, I would not mind it if somebody has put something in their mouth. At least there would be peace and quiet.

I have a serious doubt that the duds are reading what I am writing here. That hasn’t enlightened him about their own stench at all. Some have such thick skins that even a rhino would become ashamed of it.

Their current ploy is to pretend that everything I do is wrong; they really believe in it too. One can’t wonder at it, considering the kind of grey cells they have in their pate. If there is one bright thought in their skulls that’s about their own importance, this is getting bolstered by the ‘able’ help of the still greater idiots who find me against them. It’s all about some politics. The local organizations are definitely active in pulling the system down, so they would naturally come to these guys assistance.

With the kind of bedfellows these keep, the world won’t long survive.
I am planning to do caricatures on all of these interesting characters, by and by. They might not like it. But I might derive some pleasure out of it.

I know that the duds are expecting these lines. One has to give the fools what they want, otherwise they would become pissed, and as you know, you can do anything in the world, but you do not scratch your nose in front of the dumb!

Cheerio

Bum's for Hire

2011-03-02T10:47:00.000-08:00

Goons mostly do not have much intelligence, but they do have a bit of cunning and that’s what their use is! Oh they are the simplest of men, you know, they are satisfied with what they have, that is, a senseless desire to ‘help’ others to the determent of all those who are on the other side of the person being helped. And what help! They would pawn their very own to ‘help’ their godfathers. It would not look like a sacrifice to them.

It’s an easy lot, those of the controllers. They have only to get hold of some of these sorry wastrels and make use of them by giving them ideas. You and I could not do it, for we don’t know the strings to pull. If we knew we would succeed as well.

Then we will get muscles for hire, with no brains to back it, what you instruct them to do they will do, for you see, they are the most obedient of all animals. You would be surprised how many such weak brained morons are out there waiting if you have the right kind of credentials. You need to be evil through and through and need to get it across to these thick skulled Neanderthals. The weak has a strange fascination for evil. They can’t cook it up from themselves. They need a host mechanism to hook up to satisfy their vicarious urges. .

Well there is this cute guy that I know; he is the most mannerly of all, only that he has this strange weakness for goons. He can’t help it. Without them and without a bit of manipulating and devilry he can’t live. May be its not his fault, maybe it’s how he is made. No one can deny their own antecedents can they? Even if one tries to conceal it, it comes out. There is something in genetics no doubt.

His weakness is made use of by certain pusillanimous dotards in power because these useless beings believe that the only way power can be exercised is through coercion. I happen to know one such sentient being. To him every one else is no good and he alone is worthy. Worthy of what you may ask. Worthy to lead probably. The coward has had some luck in his life. By a strange intervention of circumstance he has been elevated to a place somewhat accidentally at a comparatively younger age.

The only skill he seems to posses for the job is a long memory. He remembers all the wrongs he has been subjected to, mostly these wrongs are a creation of his imagination. Somebody has made him a chump once upon a time. He changes color whenever he sees that guy now. He would not look straight because he can’t face anything directly. I have often thought the guy has something very feminine in him. May be that illness is making him very bitchy and if it is so, he can’t be blamed for what he does. No wonder he has become a patsy.

May be it’s the weak who acts through agents. This guy is so paranoid that he has made every job an act of vendetta. May be there is a deep rooted sado-masochist tendency in him. Probably others know about it too and are making use of it for their benefit.

His present working style seems to be that of providing benefits for the goons that others are supplying to him. They are doing it out of a respect and an inborn evil leaning and a strange and mirthless conceit. Anyway, the cute ‘mother’ and her children are doing fine now; they have almost finished the institution of.

Stray Thoughts

2011-02-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

When the mind lies vacant ideas enter into it through doors unseen. These doors lie unheeded in the subconscious, and correspond to the survival or sex instincts in man. These are primal instincts and are the most powerful that a person has. When some incoming thought targets this part of the brain there is little resistance and the mind becomes susceptible to be influenced dangerously. May be with a little help from intoxicants such thoughts and feelings could place one in compromising situations.

There is something in the saying that an idle mind is the play ground of the devil. The devil being the sum total of the basic urges that one has. When it takes over only destruction could be generated and nothing else. These annihilations could take many forms. Some could be mental, some could be physical and some may even have social ramifications.

Thus idleness becomes a sin against us and the world. It is not safe to be idle in mind. Yet most of us are like that and get lured in by the trickster at all times.

It is curious that the devil is called trickster amongst other names in the Judeo-Christian tradition. May be there is some sense in it. He tricks people into his domain and makes uses of them to undo what the good sense has done to make our lives better.

It may be well to say things like this, that there is an unseen realm within the consciousness and it can be influenced by even stray thoughts relating to certain aspects of man and can become the undoing of us in the end. But what could be the reason for it, what causes this chink in us? Are we born weak or is it some burden that we have accumulated in the course of the long evolution that we had?

There are no answers. What is within? What are these animal urges and fears and passions that get to us when something cracks in us? There is any number of instances of irrational things that we do when in the throes of such emotions. Are they emotions even or are they something subterranean trying to get upper-hand and show us it’s superior.

At those times we are not much different from the madmen. Nothing we do then would make sense. But even otherwise we are not much better than animal or robots. We are either programmed by the society or are quite outside it and would have no conscience to speak of.

Sometimes, I don’t know what to make of man

Loving to hate

2011-02-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

Hate is a continent where sun never sets. The glare is so fierce that most of us would sneak out of the land the moment we get in. But some would remain there till they become prey to worms. They like it there, everything is so uncertain, there’s no shortage of events, there’s no shortage of friends. Birds of the same feather may or may not flock together, but birds of hate invariably do. Its hectic, it’s all very feverish and tense in that strange land.

Some like that type of existence. They can’t be blamed for their liking too. It sort of drives away the tedium of life from them. One would never get bored there. One might get defiled but never bored, that’s guaranteed.

Even the best of us have ventured into that sphere sometime or other, May be its something in us that made us do that, Most of the times that is the case with the normal kind of man. He stumbles against some unbelievable and dumb acts of insensitivity and gets incensed and takes off to this land he had been hearing all his life. The terrain is vile, the scenery is wicked, and so the decent scoots after a while.

All the wins fashioned out in that region would have an incredible odor of dirt. To some it’s suffocating, they can’t bear the stench, yet there are deadly pragmatists out there too. They get excited with the stink and revel in it.

It’s the most easy to find of all lands. Isn’t it strange how people become selfless in their selfishness? They may have a hundred reservations about the guys who are willing to help them to put their enemies down; they might quake within thinking of the kind of guys they are keeping company with. But all that would not prevent them from exerting themselves to the limit in protecting these same monsters if the occasion arises. By comparison the other party might prove to be the most harmless of beings.

Well that is how these things work out. Even harmlessness might generate hostility. The other guy has crossed them in some way, so the guy must have motives for everything that he does when they are around. It does not matter if the guy was right at that one time he came up against them. It’s not the right or wrong that hurts most, it’s the feeling of being done in in some way. Everyone knows how such feelings are, they would not let us sleep, they would not let us think straight. It’s like one has lost ones freedom to live.

That’s how some come in to the weird land of hate. But there are some purebred’s in there too, they doesn’t need any cause to take someone down. It’s a feeling in their blood, like Iago they are against all human virtues. To them such things are nonexistent. The hunter would never see the world through the eyes of its prey.

I wonder what made me think about all these, may be there’s reason or maybe there’s not.

Of a game one should hate

2011-02-23T11:31:00.000-08:00

I am sadly all agog now and it’s unbearable. The Cricket World cup is just around the corner and we are going to win it, or so our caps Dhoni say. No wonder I can’t stand the tension. We had nothing like the ‘Idiot box’ to break our hearts in that distant and romantic 1983 and that was the only time we won it. We still are mostly in the dark about what guys like Sreeskant and Patil and Sastri did out there. They were capable of doing the weirdest of things no doubt and probably did it to. But we were luckily spared the indignity of seeing all that.

Now the things have changed and everything including the silly dances of Sreesanth is all out there for everyone to see. The kid is not above crying too, if it came to that. Then there is that ‘immortal’ Baji around. Anything can happen with that one. Saheer is not much behind and there are guys like Uvraj ( he is very free with his words if not with his sixes) ,Raina ( This gentleman has got the greatest respect for the rising ball, he freezes whenever one such come along) and the flying guy like nehra ( his balls sadly doesn’t fly. But his mind does it seems.)

I am only glad that Uthappa and Sharma is not in the team, they were having a good time with each other the other day in Duleep Trophy. The Umpire had to break them off. There was great pointing of fingers and slamming of chests and glaring of eyes.

As you know excitement is the one thing one should not have. You can have money, muscle, and even a mackintosh; you can have Marcus Aurelius, Mysore Palace and if worse comes to worst a moustache even, but not excitement. Well no, no, not ever.

The reason? Excitement befuddles the brain and makes you susceptible to the attacks by everything on the earth- Man, beast, mumbo-jumbo and mimicry, you name it. It’s unbelievable; it’s the worst place on earth. You are all open like a football team on field without a goal keeper and if you are football fan that’s as worse as it gets.

Hope the guys won’t make us want to cry once again. Dhoni seems kind of cool. He might pull it off this time, unless the South African’s or the Aussies don’t upstage him.

Nice is in France

2011-02-22T10:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it’s so. One gets deluded into believing that there are nice people in the world or at least most of the people have their nice sides. Well you know what, you could not be dumber! There is none like that in the whole wide universe. Search and you will find out for yourself.

Search? Yeah search, can’t you put in a little bit of labor into what you want to learn. Aw, come on guys!

It is not the “seek and ye shall find” type of saying that I have in mind when saying this. The Christ may have meant only good things by it. The poor guy, other than being a little partial to the people he was born to; he had little bad qualities to speak of. But the saying is not anyway bad.

It is true about all other things too. If you seek enough, you would find the god or the devil or both at the same time. I must say that it is easier to find god than the devil in these times. Getting to god does not take all that long for we have been spoon fed how to do it from the childhood onward. Some say that this is done by the agents of the devil to create mischief and protect his subjects.

I would not go into that. Everybody has a right to believe in what they think fit and what they believe to be true. But fact remains, it is not easy to find the perennial trickster anywhere in the universe. You might believe that you are quite qualified to have a tête-à-tête with Lucifer, but it takes some real doing in our world. I believe it is not because any fault of the devil himself. He is probably frightened of the people that he has been given to seduce.

The honest fact is that some of my compatriots could easily seduce devil if they could once find him. That is the hardest part. He is not to be seen anywhere in person. May be he has been absorbed into those of his adherents by now. But I have my doubts on this. From what we learn about him, he is not such a bad sort. He is even constant to his companions and is said to be very protective of them. Otherwise the legions would not follow him from heaven to hell. There must have been something good in the guy after all.

Anyway he is not to be found anywhere now. My compatriots, they have not been slack in seeking the guy; in fact they are at it most of their time. May be that is why he is keeping away from the globe and is planning to send a request to god asking to be re assigned to some lesser worlds where people are yet to develop their ‘evil’ to this level. Even the devil can only take that much.

I say, god is easy, while the other guy is tough to locate. For one thing there are no methods or treatises on how to realize evil and the devil. Even satanic cultists envisage him as something benign. I must say that these guys are rather innocent and they would only have to check out the local celebrity to locate a better model in bad deeds if they really care about it. If the Satan, to them, is only a substitute for god it becomes only a fad and would do them little good other than having the satisfaction that they belong to some sort of an exotic church.
If you want I can suggest any number of guys who would shine better than the hoofed and horned entity of which they speak of in the Old Testament. I have been dealing with then in and out all my lives. There are some specimens nearby at this time too. You need only ask, I shall point them out to you one by one. Don’t be disappointed if they look like men, they are, they even speak like god, as I said that part comes very easy, we have been trained to do so all our lives, but make no mistake about it, they could drive the fear of god into any master devil that is out there.

I have been often taken in by their manners and smooth words and even tears. Not that it often clouds my judgment where my duty is concerned. I manage to hold on to my ideas even in the background of terrible pressures from the super devils. But on the levels of human emotions I may have some weakness. These congenital heirs to evil know how to make use of this chink in my armor. You would be led through the dumbest of paths and would only realize that you are done in for after you have had it good and proper.

Our this guy

2011-02-21T09:29:00.000-08:00

Know what Rules are for? Oh, I forget you are no clairvoyant; you can’t guess what’s in my mind. No problem friend, that’s how things are. Nobody is blaming you.

We are all in the same boat. We mostly stumble along, not knowing what’s happening around us. May be there are some among you who think otherwise, that they know everything that’s going around them. They are dreamers, they know dogs hit about what they are saying.

Still you find them adamant? Ask them this, how many times did they blink on a given day, okay forget it, ask them how many times they did that in the last minute. The moment you ask them that, they would start calling you names and would be trying to put you down in any way they can. For they don’t know! We wouldn’t know too.

The point is people know dog shit about themselves and others. If you can just imagine the kind of things that’s happening at this very moment in your own sweet little body unknown to you, you would start looking a bit disillusioned about your own grasp of things and your own importance in the world. Admitted, it’s very nice having grand ideas about yourself. In the hard world they don’t work most of the time sadly.

No one knows what is in others mind. (There is mostly nothing in it most of the time. And whenever there is something that’s all bad) There were a few exceptions, like Auguste Dupin and Sherlock Holms. Sadly both of them were fictitious.

We are a bit fictitious too. It’s no wonder we are like that, for if we take a good look at the contents of our mind at any given moment we would give everything up and would search for a way to end this misery that we call our lives. So we weave dreams about us, about our importance in the world and the sad fact that others are not as important as ourselves.

This was what our guy was doing too. He is not very intelligent (well who is). But that doesn’t stop one from learning rules by heart would it. No, it wouldn’t. He had created a world of Rules within which he was lord.

So what are Rules for?

Rules are for this our guy. They are made for no other purpose than this our guy would learn them and others would flock to him to have an insight to them. So you see, the rules have a purpose, it is there to boost the ego of this our guy.

And who is this guy? He is nothing; he is just a puny weenie individual in a sad and misshapen world who has found a use for himself. He learns every rule that has any importance in his line of work and is only happy to serve others with it. The guy yearn for recognition, he is crazy about it.

Because all others in the line are a bit lazy and have forgotten how to learn things by heart, they make use of this guy and sit passively around when our guy makes hay while the artificial lighting of rules shine.

There are some whispers too, that the guy has not turned in a daze real work till today. He is said to be in charge of some survey work for the last couple of decades and have never been in the field. What are you saying friend, would such talents be forced to survey anything other than the others ignorance of the mighty Rules.

I have been watching the strange airs that the guy gives himself for the last few days and could not get rid of the itch to say something about it. Well you know in an ancient treatise there is this dread pronouncement:

“Swadharman nidhanam sreya
Paradharman bhayavaha”
It only means this:

“The duty that falls to our lot, would always bring prosperity
While that of others (if we do them) is cause for fear”

Elaborated it means that, we are given certain responsibilities by the world after due consideration of our worth and doing that would only better us, but if we shirk those and tries to usurp to things that belongs to others we would soon end up in trouble.

Well our guy wouldn’t understand that would he? He has currently support from the right quarters, not because of any of his worth but because these guy are inept and lazy.

“You are so dead”

2011-02-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

“You are so dead”

The little voice tells us and it never ceases telling us sometimes, it is as if something invisible is up in arms against us. It’s childish, it’s foolish but all the same, it could be the most insistent thing that ever was. Okay, it could be wrong, but have you noticed it never lets up at these times. We feel very low when we are like that.

The curious thing is that, this voice sometimes tries to drive the chills into you whenever you try to do something nice by the world. No, it’s not merely paranoia, it’s the truth. Call it fear, call it pessimism, call it a negative approach to life, and call it anything you want. But it is mostly a reflection of the animosity towards you that is out there. There could be some persistent minds that are functioning to do you in or wish you dead.

But why, you might wonder, what is so dangerous about you to make the most spineless of all human specimens to want you dead? Well, the fact is, hate is a condition that doesn’t require any thing as its ammunition and anything as a starting point. It’s often a prime requirement to life even and I am not being funny here. There are people who were raised and felled by hate. Some can’t even suffer to think of existing without someone to hate and someone to run down. There are a million hidden causes for hating somebody. These need not be obvious too.

So I don’t wonder that I am hated. I do expect a liberal dosage of it in my life. It also motivates me to cling on to what I have and fight back. It’s all very exhilarating. Often I enjoy it too. One can also practice a little bit of the stuff on one’s own too, provided the causes are alright.

Yet there are times when you do something by the book and try to save something good from being destroyed and are still found fault with by the inept and are singled out for victimization. One’s imagination is that, by doing these little things towards making the world a better place to live in, you are working for the public in general and are doing the right thing. But man, if you want to know, that is where you err. You are not taken for what you are and everything that you do is twisted into something else and interpreted in the weirdest way to undo you.

At those times, if a person is human, he would lose patience with everything that’s around. One would rile and blaspheme and roar and would start butting the immovable and proverbial stone wall. It wouldn’t budge and your self confidence would receive a beautiful beating. It’s one such time in my life right now. Not that I did not have anything similar before. I had had enough of such incidents to warn me of it, but that would not lessen the heart burn the incidents occasions every time you are dealing with it.

Here I am now in the middle of a giant hating machine because of no reason. I wouldn’t call myself a grand individual; I would not tell people that I have the panacea for all the ills that abound in the world. But one has the desire to follow certain accepted norms of behavior in public life and though every idiot would laugh his heart out over those who try to adhere to them, he nevertheless would not try to deny the relevancy of these when called upon. These rules are what the human social structure is based upon. They are the bedrock of the civilization. The tricky had always found a way to circumvent every such rule and would even convince the tolerably straight guys that a bent approach is needed sometimes to overcome evil!

The poor morons so instructed would follow the advice too. I have seen too much of such things in my life to have any doubts about the veracity of the thing.

We won’t deny it, we are all fearful; one can’t console oneself with the thoughts of the heaven world when one is being threatened. No one is sure if such an idyllic state of existence is there or not. From what little we know about it, it would be much better if we stick to the kind of life we have here and that is the whole point in threatening. Everybody, even if the guy is seriously thinking about doing himself in wouldn’t like to be threatened.
So when others start whispering you dead it s not nice to be at the receiving end whoever you might be. It is easy to create mistrust and propagate misinformation in the world. The only thing you need to have is some kindred souls who are willing to lend you all assistance. These could be obtained by favors, friendships or coercion. Everybody likes to see someone denigrated because it acts as a tonic for them concealing their weaknesses and seeing the downfall of someone who they always thought well than themselves.

So beware of the little voice that threatens you. Even if these come in the form of desires alone and there is no overt move on the part of the modern witches to pursue it any further. There is a great danger in allowing these to flourish, it would dent your peace of mind and would interfere with your life.

Better have the redirected to its sources( I am joking, don’t wish any one die, but Collin Wilson has stated somewhere that it could also be effective in some cases), that is, counter them with sheer hypocrisy if you won’t, boast that you are the be all and end all of the world and you can’t be opposed. It would drive the rumor mill into silence and they would start bashing you about the hypocrisy that you are exhibiting. That is you have them where you want. It’s a good thing to make the others do as you desire while it is destructive to have it otherwise.

When the scales fall from our eyes

2011-02-11T09:09:00.000-08:00

There is something in adversity; it makes you see the world as it is, shorn of all its trappings. And what you see is nothing to rave about. But then, you have known it all along haven’t you? That the world is a sorry place, where little goes aright. In your stupidity you ignored it and tried to cook up something fantastic in its place. Some call it creating your own reality. May be there is nothing wrong with it. You have seen madmen live like that, they are comfortable with what they have brought forth from themselves and they are not bothered about what the rest of the world thinks.

It’s a good state to be in. Every single feeling is then self- made; every single action then is genuine. There is no burden of tradition or custom or social norms sitting inside and criticizing everything that you do. You are jolly and delighted at what you do. Even when you cry, you do it with sheer abandon; you don’t try to suppress it and act happy.

Take the case of the ‘normal’ people, they are always on tenterhooks. They can’t do a single thing without making themselves sick about the consequences of what they are doing. The thing may be as silly as driving a nail into a piece of wall. It’s easy, the world thinks, you have the needed strength, added determination, you have the hammer , of course the nail and you have got the piece of wall to do all the mischief. What could be easier that driving a nail into it? Nothing really, nothing!

But have you tried it yet? Well go on and try it, just once. The experience would teach you something, or else you would have to be a carpenter who has it as second nature by not thinking on it anymore. To him it has become a mechanical activity, requiring no reflection and very little involvement.

My point is, as long as we are rolling along without any tough obstacle to scale, we are comfortable with our fantastic concept of life and in this we are not very different from the madmen. They are fixated on some particular thing and we are on several. The sad thing is, both the groups are not really free, they become somehow conditioned from within or without and go on performing things that the really sane would rather not.

This is where the benefits of real adversity come to the fore. When one is jolted out of the strange dream that one is having then some filament falls from our sight and everything becomes clear. You realize that there is nothing in this world great as you have imagined and it is and has been drab and dull and painful all along. You lose faith in everything that’s around, you see that nothing is reliable and no one can be trusted.

That brings on some hard thinking. And thought in that form does not fail to bring you wisdom!

The 15th it is

2011-02-10T10:57:00.000-08:00

“Would it get done this time round?” The absolute master demanded imperiously (meaning ‘would they manage to finish ‘somebody’ off this time?’)

“It would” the second in command roared in reply. He is mighty confident that he would single handedly accomplish it by whatever means he could get hold of and currently the ‘somebody’ is tremulously waiting for the hoards to arrive to do the deed. Would they maim him or decimate him or harpoon him? Who knows!

The action is criminal no doubt. But when everybody around the place decides to play dumb about it, it has a chance of being viewed as an accident. And accidents do happen to people don’t they?

----------------------------------------------------------
The 15th it is

So it has come to this! They are having a bash right now after having put me in my place! You want to know what the place is. It’s known by the cute name of ‘restriction’ and it’s a mighty dangerous place too. It’s mostly invisible and is only known by the words and deeds of those who are its wardens.

The name of the place was kindly intimated to me by an ardent advocate of ‘technical’ excellence around here. Yeah the guy is a representative of the technocrats (though they seem definitely very ‘low tech’ as circumstances seems to prove). They currently rule the place by proxy. If you have any doubts on it ask this self same guy, he would enlighten you about what they are and what they are capable of.

This guy was called a ‘criminal’ by one of his long time colleague. Though this techie is small in person, he knows several ‘useful’ rules by heart and he is wont to use the most deadly methods to cut his opponents down, people claim. A guy, who was once victimized by this commendable technical maestro, had sobbed into my ears through phone about the kind of things the techie said and did to him. ‘Those things’ had questioned everything including the man’s parentage, and reportedly the deeds of the techie is said to have just fallen short of manslaughter.

The victimized guy had even told me:”you know, if I had your kind of physical strength I would have smashed his tiny vicious face into smithereens.” Well I thought he was being hysterical!

This poor man had also cautioned me when I was coming up here that this guy would stop at nothing to put me down and ‘control’ the environment. But I told him that I had little to gain by coming here and so felt sure that the guy would see the good intentions on my part and would be willing to second my effort to save the station as it was about to be closed down due to inefficiency.

Well, he was concerned about saving the station and was ready to come to the aid initially when the things were precarious. But then eventually the station was saved (I wouldn’t claim it to my own credit, as I was but an actor in the play) and new recruits on the technical side were appointed. A new master was also put in place as the place had regained trust from government.
The immediate effect was, all forgot those things they had said and done to get things to such a pass as to make the government close down the place, and started putting me down on a consistent basis. This was supported by the new entrants as well as the old hands as they soon realized I was a bit strict in my views about how to run things. I was sort of impartial and tried to stick the middle path and that is not generally liked by anyone.

They started by working on me through the mechanisms they knew well. Well one can only take so much of personal victimization, covert or overt. It doesn’t require a grand grasp of psychology to learn the best way to destroy a person. It may be by feeding lies into the rumor mill, and creating an atmosphere of hate against him. They have done it well and even the girls who had come crying to me saying that a certain guy and his cronies had verbally abused them are transformed into their supporters.

Well they say that they are my enemies and want to save the world from me, so the restriction. You know guys; the place called ‘restriction’ is a most inconvenient place I must say. It has no doors, no windows; it has little air and no light. It’s made so because the well-meaning is concerned about what the guys inside would do to them. In their terrible humanitarian kindness they have shut the place up well and good.

No one can ‘file’ their way in. They guy inside can’t ‘file’ his way out. And all the ‘file’s are safely kept out of reach, especially ‘file’s’ that cost a bit, that are bulky and secret. The knowledgeable say that they have ‘postponed’ filing by this timely action.

What wonder they are celebrating about this place that they have constructed out of their own ingenuity!

Millions- to gulp down

2011-01-19T10:22:00.000-08:00

It’s been sometime since I have been here, yet it was not because there’s nothing to tell, there is a lot, but I was not up to it. Sheer apathy had hit me, and hit me hard. What can one do, there are times when you feel the futility of it all, the utter uselessness of speaking out, because the muck never gets any thinner, the darkness never gets any lighter, the smell never disperses and the sticky horror never stops playing.

You know what hopelessness is? It is the feeling of utter disinterest in what happens around you due to the unbelievable predictability of it. I shudder when I think about it. But the ‘ingenious’ around me laps it up like nectar. May be they are programmed to do so. Or maybe they are born like that, with a propensity to revel in the cesspool and boast about it.

So why break the silence?

Well sometimes your patience starts to wear very thin and you start remembering the sort of horrors that you daily mingle with. The more you try to curb it the more violent the desire arises to trample them underfoot and kick them into to the deepest regions of outer space ( both at the same time), so that the world would be finally rid of the scum. I am no father Damien to go and live in a leper’s hell and think that the Lord would recompense me for it, by recording how the disease spreads and being compassionate about it.

I might believe that other than the great abhorrence that I feel for the insensitive idiots that calls themselves intelligent, I have no other traits that distinguishes me from other specimens of humanity that is out there. But sadly that is not the case although it’s enough trouble too. I hate the whole moral climate that’s created by the apathy people shows towards things in general. “The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference.”
(Bess Myerson)
Take for instance the way some ‘intelligent’ colleagues of mine tries to spend people’s money (it drives me mad), it’s beyond belief.

I told you about the grub-governance the other day. My telling did not make it stop. They are still actively at it and learning things that they never intend to use in their life time. How I abhor the whole idiotic set up! But what can one do about it. Nothing, nothing at all. When something good is turned into a terrible farce you are helpless and terrified. You begin to feel that all this is meant to be so.

At least it’s the governments training policy and the government can’t do anything about the congenital idiocy that its officials possess. But can it do something about the blatant misuse of public funds it puts in to the hands of its ‘efficient and ever obedient servants’? But is there any use in saying so?

“Well, if we can’t cheat people out of a cool million bucks per annum, what’s the use of calling ourselves officials? Did not Ashleigh Brilliant say “I want either less corruption or more chance to participate in it”. We do it whole heartedly, as corruption is the universal law. You see, there has not been a single institution that’s not corrupt in the entire history of humanity (In a particular land). If the general public is unaware of the fact, we should be sorry for them. But that shouldn’t influence us in our thinking.

Guys, we have our own lives to look after, we can’t come to the office and engage ourselves in activities that benefit the general public. We need to take our children to our schools, we need to build a home for ourselves, and we need to satisfy the needs of our families. We need to go to clubs and dance and party all day long. Tell us, where is the time to get to office and do anything to make the lives of the people better?

Charity begins at home! Let us first make ourselves rich and then think about the universe.”

Enna satham and me

2010-08-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Like the rest of the world I too am hopelessly romantic in my quite moments (now don’t laugh and don’t say it’s not true in your case, it is and I know it is, even the iron hearted have this one weakness and if they don’t, I don’t consider them human)! But out in the hard world I could be as practical as practical goes. It’s only when I accidentally hear songs that have gone and hid somewhere inside me that I recall those illusive and strange moments of romantic fancy that I may have indulged in my youth. It brings a kind of sublimation into my soul- I start to think, no I can’t be as bad as that, there is still something left inside me and all is not ruined-there is still hope. They sharpen my being and talk to me in tongues that I have kept unheard insides. It’s not merely the songs that do it, it’s something else, a deeper longing to be a part of something grand, something indefinable, something that’s out there, near, very near, yet inexplicably, irretrievably, removed from me.

It brings a kind of sweet ache into the heart, kindling remembrances of things lost, touching upon glimpses of grace committed into oblivion.

Well this song does all that to me. I don’t really know what attracts me to it. Is it the lyrics of Vairamuthu, I don’t know! He is somewhat controversial and I have also seen a comment saying that someone is sick of him. But I like the guy, may be in this song , other than in the first four lines, he hasn’t done anything spectacular, most of the observations are superficial than poetic. Like:

“koondhalil nuzhaindha kaigal oru koalam poadudhoa ”

“The hands entwined in her hair-
Are they describing some design?

(The translation is lame I know, I don’t know enough Tamil to do it that well. Yet this is how I understand it, my apologies to Tamil people if I am wrong! Let me have the correct translation please!)

Well anyway the point is, such lines are just descriptive and not very emotive. But the opening lines are wonderful.

“What’s that’s heard now?
Is it the note of being?

(What I am trying is to capture the sense of the word and not their exact meaning. Satham is nothing other than Sabdh(am) of Sanskrit. It means sound noise etc. But using those words would be inappropriate here I think)

These lines of Vairamuthu are great. It evokes myriad of aesthetic sensations within you, coupled with the evocative visualization of the song.

Anyway it could not be the lines alone that captivated me, or the music of Ilayaraja, which is always sublime. SPB has rendered it with all the evocative fervor he is capable of. It was a soft caressing voice in the back-ground that croons the haunting melody. Balachander had made it unbelievably good on celluloid.
I saw the movie while I was very young. The plight of the lovers bent on suicide in a location like that might have moved me to the core. The whole poignancy of the situation might have got into me. I think it was Balu Mahendra who did the camera work, which was excellent. To my mind it was one of the greatest opening sequences in an Indian movie. There are slightly jarring shots in it as well, like the shot in which Kamalhasan wolf’s the meal down in front of the thatched shed. It somehow strikes an off note to the general aesthetic environment of the visuals.

Okay I will let you see the song now. Here it is: Enjoy its enchanting visual beauty:

Comodo, Zone Alarm and Mr XP-KB943232-x86-ENU

2010-08-08T04:21:00.000-07:00

Guys as mischievous as yours truly would enter where the normal cyber angels fear to tread. That is, I would jump into a site that displays the digital Ouija Board or the Magic Ball for example and fool around with them as a diversion. Pretty dangerous thing to do since every one of them would immediately try to install all kinds of cookies and ‘global hook’s’ and whatnot’s besides into your system to check out who this guy is and what’s he is doing on the net. There are some pretty evil sites that could destroy your system as well.

The fall out is, the computer gets infected with all sorts of viruses, worms, trojans and the like. One likes the excitement alright, but not the fall out. Early in my cyber adventures and with the terrible Internet Explorer I used to have a nice time of closing down windows by the hundreds that would suddenly start popping up all over the place after a few such incursions. The system would finally stall or crash and I would have to clean the hard drive and re-install the OS from scratch.

The one good thing about the business was that I learned how to format the hard drive and do a few things besides on the hardware-side other than installing and uninstalling programs. I gained the experience through heart breaks and brain smoking hard work!

I still have the XP and haven’t upgraded to Vista or Seven. So programs like the windows defender is not integrated in it and its vulnerability is high. As for upgrading to Vista earlier, I hated the Vista somehow and thought it cumbersome and (at least to me) looked rather like a white elephant. So I had stuck with the XP though out the phase of Vista. The Seven seems better to me. But I haven’t still decided whether to go for it or not.

Sadly the window’s firewall was and is not something to rave about and then one has to ‘allow’ sites to access your system to download or even enter them because of the phishing filter and all sorts of security features in IE that do not really work unless you limit your activities to a very few sites.

What’s the use of security features unless you can fool around a bit. I mean, why start learning martial arts in the first place if you want to remain at home and daren’t venture out? Anyway that was my outlook as far as surfing is concerned and I had to seek free firewalls and antivirus software’s that would protect me even if I did some fooling around. Free because, the paid versions often stalls when updating and if you forget to buy a new copy the moment the old one has run out, you are in trouble.

So I got hold of a firewall that served my purpose then – none other than the erstwhile No 1 free firewall, the Zone Alarm. And I must say that initially it was comforting to have the thing in my computer and it was pretty good in screening threats and keeping the computer safe. I have written about it previously and that post had generated some interest back then and still seems to be the only post that is still visited by a few from all over the world. If had a genuine feeling for software related issues I would have taken to reviewing products, but my touch with the world of programming is rather non-existent. And I write on them only when I am totally pissed about something.

As I told you I had the Zone Alarm Firewall but it ran into certain problems when I wanted to reinstall it after a new XP installation. It started asking about a friend of it’s,named KB something and it had to be installed for the Firewall to function. I had the luck to find the invisible Mr. XP KB943232-x86-ENU and proceed with the installation of the Zone Alarm. But I don’t know why, things started to go wrong with the system sometime after wards and it began to show freak activity rather irrationally.

I am not saying that it’s entirely due to the interference of Zone Alarm. I used to tamper with the system on a regular basis and that could be a reason as well. Any way I tried everything to correct the erratic behavior of the system including uninstalling all the programs I earlier preferred. Instead of Zone Alarm I tried the new No. 1 and much sought after free Comodo internet security suit. Ever since I did that the system started behaving okay and is now comparatively dependable.

The Comodo has an antivirus feature integrated with it and that’s what gives me a few problems now. I can’t update it no how! I had wanted to try it on to check how it performs but, being stuck with a dial up connection I don’t have the speeds to download its mammoth data base and antivirus signatures. And I hear that it’s the case with those with broad-band connection too. Some are advising to try different servers to download the data base!

Well if anybody want to try Comodo as a firewall, I would not say no to it. If you can’t use the antivirus feature then you have other good free antivirus programs like, Avast and also Clamwin ( its open source and you might want to support it) if you want.

Web of Our Own Making

2010-08-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

Like spiders we ensnare

Ourself in a web of our

Own making

ANTI RELAXATION

2010-08-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

After moving away from the practice of putting thoughts down on paper (well, digital paper if you will) for a while, I find it not easy to resume it from where I left off! I still do have an occasional flurry of thoughts and ideas if you want to know (well then, if you don’t want to know, that is well as well!)! The problem is with translating them into meaningful words and sentences. My penmanship (or keying in-ship) has suffered due to the lay off, and it’s natural.

A strange question rises up in my mind now.

Do we have to be relaxed to think as well as write? I do not know. I can only say that I am not both at this point in time! I am pressed hard from all sides now and find it tough to steal enough time to do a bit of thought processing! Well I believe that being tense and being troubled is okay in life. If you have all the things your way all the time, you would soon tire of it and start seeking adventures elsewhere. Where this elsewhere could be? Hmm, it’s a thought.

This brings forth the question about relaxation. Just what do people mean by relaxation? To me relaxation comes via writing, it need not be about anything in particular, writing itself is enough for me to relax! But this could be a personal thing. We all have this desire to put things in order in our life, even those who are careless about everything in life is not careless about being careless! That is a method of achieving homeostatis as well!

Yet all is after relaxation now! They are all stressed out and tensed up and worried and troubled and frightened and everything else besides. Just key in the word relaxation on the internet- Google search alone gives you a mind boggling 33,200,000 results in 0.12 seconds! Type in the words “methods of relaxation“in and you get About 14,500,000 results (0.11 seconds).

So there is something the matter with the world that we live in now. Our world has a population of 6862438690 and rising at this very moment. Considering the number of entries on relaxation alone over the internet (which caters to perhaps 29 % of the above population and the results excludes sites in languages other than in English) there is a serious problem with our world.

If the statistics are anything to go by most of the literate population are out obtaining relaxation from whatever troubles they are having! This looks like the main occupation amongst them.

May be its time to think anti-relaxation now for if we can’t find any relaxation with this much help around, then there is no way to obtain it or there is no cause to search for it!

Why go after the unobtainable while we have all the tension to choose from! It’s much more interesting that way and let me tell you the world would not be there if everybody gets into the true state of relaxation. We worked hard to make the world as it is now. Let’s keep it that way and feel the tension of life coursing through us!

The Hype about E Governance in India

2010-08-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

A lot of hype is being generated about E Governance in India, and a lot of officers are being trained for it. Other than at the very top levels, the benefits of E Governance is not very evident lower down in the scheme of things. I feel we are going about it the wrong way. Let us just try to face a few facts first of all about it.

Firstly, what’s the use of talking about E Governance if there is no E government to talk of? In most offices this is the case. You know, first the machinery has to be in place and functioning to think about Governing with it, only then comes the training part. As it is, it’s going to be an uphill task training those in service now in E government even. There is lack of awareness and lack of interest in the subject.

This is not to be wondered at. They are the products of a foregone era. They might still like to punch a few keys; just to get a hang of the computers, but there ends their enthusiasm for it. And what is happening now with office automation is the replacement of files with more such files in computers. This is not the way to go at all. Why go to all this trouble of digitizing everything if it doesn’t bring in any changes in the style of processing data and does not serve speedy delivery of service?

You see, instead of paperless office (paperless only in the ideational sense of course, paper can’t be completely replaced like that, but its use can be drastically reduced by the digital revolution), the use of paper is steeply going up now. It is easier to print out documents and produce any number of them with the new machinery! This defeats the whole purpose of the revolution. What is required is a change in mind set.

But unfortunately there are no special switches in our brain to transform us into something we are not, in life. Here you are dealing with individuals with a formed outlook on life and those views are set very firm by repeated affirmation. Even the more progressive amongst them would find it hard to cope with the changing environment and this has little to do with their lack of desire to do it. It’s more primary than that.

This could be the reason why they show a strange desire to denigrate the changes and are mostly not worried by their lack of knowledge on the subject. To them, the new technology is just a marginally better way to produce paperwork. Instead of trying to learn what it actually is they often try to adapt it to their way of thinking, and this becomes possible only because of the fellow feeling shown by their superiors who are mostly in the same boat. Even the comparatively young who are selected to run the administration in India find themselves against a concerted opposition and mostly let it be for the sake of their peace of mind.

What all this amounts to is that nothing will ever move forward and we would be still conducting cattle races while the rest of the world is going elsewhere. In the case of the fouling up of the digital revolution in this land the fault entirely lays with the mentality and not with the availability of funds, or proper authentication or anything else.

As a back ground let us remember that the UN has been promoting all aspects of E Governance for some time now. They have even instituted a grading system to monitor the progress in the area. Sadly we haven’t even made it to the first 50 in it, that is, if we are anywhere in the list at all!

There is no lack of support from outside agencies as well. If we lack funds the World Bank is ready to supply it and the central government has been trying to seriously promote E Governance from 2003 onwards with their assistance. The states have also put aside funds for the purpose. So in fact, there is an abundance of funds and not the lack of it. Ever since the era of globalization, modernization and computerization is vigorously pursued by governments. Yet the case is that, other than perhaps Karnataka none of the other states have made much progress in the sector.

To my mind, if governments are really serious about it they need to re- think the strategy of implementation. It is useless to try to bring in changes in the attitudes of the well entrenched officials over-night. Resistance to change within the organization is an accepted fact among policy makers. This factor has brought down many well meaning reform movements in the past.

New technology brings with it a new world view. There would be fierce opposition to it from those who don’t share the view. All views are formed mostly early in life. That’s where the saying “catch them young” turns out to be true. We follow what we are taught when young all through our life. That’s why the younger generation is comfortable with the fast and feverish pace of change that’s happening all over the world, while we are not. They are brought up on it and unlike the older breed, take to it like a fish takes to water.

So bring such people in. Unlike the old and world-weary blokes these youngsters would be serious about it and would not look down upon it. It’s not of replacing the existing system with technocracy that is suggested, but a sensible introduction of such youngsters at different levels in government would go a long way in educating the rest on the benefits of the process and speeding up E Governance.

The capers they cut

2010-08-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Fall guy's come in many shapes, but when they come in the shape of your saviors, you remain aghast.

Probably you have guessed of whom I am talking of. It’s the narrow minded busy bodies called the government officials that I am raving about. Naturally there is a lot to rave about them too. They defeat our imagination with the tricks that they play!

I know one guy, he is the best in the business, he has little to go for him other than he is incompetent. But is he proud about it? Not he! You wouldn’t believe the things that he pulls sometimes.

His main act is the disappearing act, next comes the swooning act; the frightened act is the best exhibition of his histrionic ability and would come a distant third.

And never fear, he has all the backing he ever would get among his staff, not to say his superiors. He thrills everybody with the stunts that he pulls on and off.

You believe that there has to be a reason for such behavior? And there is! He does all these to get out of tricky circumstances. The guy was forced into submission by one of his subordinates to pass an order. The spirit of the order went against the guys he was trying to protect. (Unless you have learned it by now, the government machinery is a concern to safeguard the interests of the staff and not the people)

The guys, thwarted in their favorite pastimes of making themselves scarce and getting paid for the (absent) services rendered, got the wind up. They resorted to outside help to get things restored to the state that were before. But there was opposition from different quarters on the issue and the man had to back down.

There were visits and ‘comings’ from the opposing side to ‘see’ and ‘talk’ to him. The guy could not take it anymore and started playing the disappearing game. He just doesn’t like the seat any more. It has gotten too hot for his liking. What he does is to visit the office only rarely and even then wriggle out of it before those harassing him finds him there.

Then there are important meetings he has to attend. There could be all types of questions directed against him. Would he attend them? You can dream on. He sends everybody instead and they get mauled in his stead.

But he still likes his power and that is nothing short of a wonder. Yet he has to visit his superiors on certain occasions and is answerable on several things. That’s when he falls down in the railway station and has a real fit. Naturally others wire the superiors and they let the ‘poor’ man go.

I must say that it’s highly riveting to watch the antics of the guy and it’s been entertaining all over!
Well these are guys looking after the interests of the people!

Whats Ailing Indian Football?

2010-08-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

( Nothing much it seems, for there is no football in India!)

Forlan, the Uruguayan footballer is in India and our dailies are full of it. He is a good player and was a big star even before he struck those goals in the recent world cup and took his team to the semi finals. I don’t know what he is doing in our land. One thing is for sure; he is not going to talk football in India, or if he does he is not going to talk seriously about it, because there is no real football in this land.

I am not saying this out of spite because my favorite team has fared poorly in the national tourney, or as an effort to denigrate all those guys who play the game in India. We play our sort of football and some of us like to watch it in action, because we love the game and would like to see it flourish in the country.

And at present the scenario is not all that bad for the player too. They have started to earn well. This was not the case before. There are clubs all over the land, there is sponsorship and there is great hype about the game in the media. This is all very welcome and I am glad for the players, for football is a crippling game at any level and those playing it should be guaranteed some sort of security in their life.

But honestly, the kind of football we play wouldn’t bear scrutiny. It’s terrible. That’s why one of our greats in football, I.M Vijayan recently stated that we wouldn’t be in the world cup even in the times of his child Aromal (the boy is learning the art at the feet of his father.) He may not be the most analytical of guys, but what he says comes from within him and it is sensed by the talent in him. It has to be true. If he had the physical strength of a European or African or Latin American footballer, he would have been a great international player.

He had such talent and brains for the game.

You know once, a long time back and when he was only a player, the present coach of Brazil came to our land on a visit and our reporters were at him seeking advice for our football. Dunga fortunately was not totally dismissive of it; he was kind enough to admit that there is such a thing in the land. He visited a few coaching camps and the players immediately crowded around him asking for tips on the strategies to be employed on the field.

His kindness did not prevent him from being blunt in his reply. He said:

“First learn how to control the ball and learn the skills of the game, then learn what the game is all about before trying to take it further”.

He further elucidated the point he was making.

“You know, we all do it for years and years before we even start to think about things like strategies back at home”

The guys were abashed; they might have thought that they are in the same league as these greats of football. And there could be still guys out there who think so. For them I have something. It’s a totally crazy video about tiny tots playing football. These guys are caught early and trained meticulously. Look at the stupendous skills these kids have, do you think that any international in India could even repeat the feats?

This is only the start of their game and they all do it, do you think that they would stop there or would be allowed to stop there? Do you think that those free kicks struck by Forlan came merely out of day- dreaming? He did it repeatedly while others as good as him was finding trouble with the ball employed. You can only execute your dreams if you sweat blood and are fired up by desire to excel in the game. It takes the dedication of a lifetime.

Just watch the video

6 Year Old New Zidane in the Making Tracked by Europe's Elite. -

Hot Seats

2010-07-28T14:01:00.000-07:00

I am not any the less angry about the things at workplace. It’s like a mortuary out here. Seats and desks sit all alone and the visitors gape around in consternation. Fans revolve, lights are always on, but the bright and pussy footed stuff who are called government functionaries are always in discussion or is deemed to be in discussion, (you know, that’s what you hear when you ask the rare apparition of an officer in the vicinity). You would wonder just what this arcane discussion is about. If you want to know, it’s about their children’s education and spouses operation.

If you ask me what public interest is there in it, I am as at sea as you are about it. But there is one thing, all these stalwarts in service imagine that they are the sum and substance of the world and hence, naturally it has to be assumed that their affairs are real big affairs in public interest.
Strangely, there are many such birds around and they naturally have to flock together. I once over heard the conversation between these guys. Well it’s nothing short of wonderful. None of them are replying to what the others were holding forth on. They were all having a one way communication and were talking about their own individual affairs without heeding what the other person was saying.

It was extremely interesting. They just don’t mind the others prattling on. But the problem was, none of them has ever shown the same kind of enthusiasm to sit in their seats. But then there is no self interest in being at the seat is there? There is only public interest and as everybody knows the government servants would not come within the scope of public interest.

I am hoping that some light would enter into their sad pates

The Dolts lost it to Mizoram

2010-07-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

You know what angry is? If you don’t, then you don’t know the state I am in. This anger has to do with the horror of a state football team that we have in Kerala and the absolute incompetents running it. I wouldn’t deny it, I am a sports buff, and I am the kind of guy who goes for the sports page first thing in the morning. And I am not ashamed of it.

You see there are different types of people out there in the world. All tries to make sense out of this strange adventure that we call life. Some do it with brains, some with heart and some with their body. There are infinite gradations within these three streams of approaches. Those who aim to make something of the life on the level of the body would range from classical dancers to shovelers (don’t take it lightly, I mean it in all seriousness. I see no difference between the highest intellectual and the lowest menial in the scale of things in life. Both are in the same boat. It doesn’t mean because I wear a perfume and the other one smells of his sweat that one has discovered and would discover something grander in life that the lowly grave.).

So to me games are an expression of human spirit and I revere it like I revere the plays of Shakespeare. Any exhibition or real excellence and strength in any field capture my attention. Also I have been a bit of a sportsman a long time back, so it’s in my blood too. I have never played football seriously though. But I love the way they dance around in the field. May be it has originated from playing around with heads cut off from human figures. But that doesn’t matter; it’s a beautiful game now. Flowers bloom out of the filthiest stretches of land.

And the dumb sons of bitches of my land used to play this game well. Even those who were totally useless otherwise in our land turned out to be good footballers and did well in the international arena. And then there were the Sharaf Ali’s, Sathyans, and Vijayans occasionally. Even when these aces refused to play for the state the others did well every time. They did not require any coaching, they flowered all over the thin strip of a land we call our home state. They learned the game by the help of pure imagination.

They might stammer every time one asked them anything. But on the ground they played their stolid game (it was not the one-touch football of the greats, it was the old fashioned stop and pass game, but they were good at it and the game had stood the test of time) Never once had we to play the qualifiers to get into the final rounds of the Santhosh Trophy. Last year it happened.

We thought the stupes would have learned their lesson by now. But they did not. The team scraped through to the Quarterfinals and fell before Mizoram. I am livid, I can’t speak at all, I am angry to the core, not that the Mizoram wasn’t a better side this time; they were and is a good side. But our idiots could have done better. It’s no use blaming conditions and blaming poor form. They just were not interested enough. Instead of playing the bums under the threat of pay cuts from the clubs they have joined, the bunch of imbeciles called the selectors should have looked to the young who are around and playing. If they had failed it would not have been such a mishap as this one.

But the “know all’s opted for the ‘trusted’- the trusted and talented my foot. There are no more good players in the land. I am not merely bothered about the defeat; I see darkness in the horizon. None are interested in the game anymore. The game, once the life throb of the state, is dying. And no one is bothered about it. When a good thing is lost, other things too begins to wane. Where is the famous edge and fierce pride of the keralites? The duds used to play a highly vocal and confident game. It was the best in the land, where is the talent now? We have always been a good at all sports. Now every other state is gaining ground.

It’s not merely the failures; it’s the attitude that I fear most. I am not a narrow “sons of soil” type. But I like to see things kept at the level they are, when they start to recede it’s time to find the culprits and kick them out.

Do it immediately guys, this can’t go on.

Grub Governance

2010-07-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

Currently all the exemplary Officers in my establishment are off to learn E Governance en masse. Yes, you heard it right- to learn nothing but E Governance! Do they know what the E stands for? They invariably do, it stands for Eat! There is gourmet food available round the clock at the training centers. Would anyone want to miss it? You dream.

By now the certificates they have amassed (there is training every other week) would be numerous enough to roof a medium sized house. None of these certificates are attained by effort. They are given to these adventurers for free. The institute has to save its face doesn’t it? Those who instruct these are aware of their infinitesimal intellects and pays reverence to them by passing them in the Divine Grade ( D)

Like always, it was my good luck to nominate them for the useless exercise. They have been given all kinds of training in the past and to tell you the truth, none are any the less proud of their wonderful ignorance. It’s catching.

Anyway, the air is much less polluted now; one can breathe freely, thank God! And yes, they do try to foul things up from afar by calling others up by phone. But you know they can’t be otherwise, one has to show ones good breeding every now and then, don’t one?

And they are using ICT, by using their phone’s to boot, though they don’t know what it is!

ICT? What ICT? Is it ‘icy tea’ or cold coffee? Then we will have some. We all like cold coffee. No, it’s not that ? Then what could this damn ICT be?

After a laborious churning of brains they would burst out in enthusiasm “Oh, ICT, got it, I Come First” (and my fambli too)”, and they would be beaming.

Who bothers about improving the efficiency and effectiveness and service delivery of the government through the use of information technology! What you talking about man, we only know enough technology to switch on and switch off our cell phones. That’s enough for us and our friends. We have post paid connections.

What other information is needed? If people want information they can phone us and the information would be supplied promptly, provided that there is enough of you know what! Or they can phone our driver, he is the go between……whenever we are in trouble, we call the driver. He knows more ICT than any of us, and then there are true ICTS among our class four comrades.

As to training for food, that’s our birth right!

No doubt in these trainings there is “Wider participation” of officers to information about the food available and they are all “food intensive organizations”, you see “food is power and (that) power is political”.

Well of course they would learn some catch words likeG2C, G2B by hearsay and bandy it about. What I can’t simply suffer is the strange and thick skinned attitude of these immortal idiots and their self satisfied smiles when they talk of it. I am sure that it would drive me up walls.

But what to do, one has to live among all kinds of stuff.

Sadly the good intentions of the government are always put to waste by these no good, petty egotists…. Such is the sad fate of our polity.

It’s said that E Governance could enable

Good governance
Trust and Accountability
Citizen's awareness and empowerment
Citizen's welfare
Democracy
Nation's economic growth

Etc. And we are teaching it to guys who look at a computer keyboard in great enmity and fear. If you think upon it you would not be able to stop laughing as long as you live.

Trouble

2010-07-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

Well, my god! How I like it here now! Its cold, its hostile and I am in the midst of certain spineless specimens who like to play with women up front! They would remain in the back, safely shielded by their pet amazons. These girl wonders recite the script taught to them verbatim, by their “close’ friends. They are a little inexperienced now, but are being taught and trained by their masters into good performers.

Though this proves their total lack of guts on the part of the cowardly friends of the fiery dames, it has its disadvantages for me. One can’t fight against women, not because these are anything in the line of honorable ones, but one just can’t. It doesn’t seem worth the effort or interesting enough. When all is said and done, women would remain women, there is little to be gained by going against them.

I have been in many such official skirmishes, I have even faced dames spitting fire at me before, but such concerted efforts to attack me on the part of the women is a new occurrence. In previous such encounters, there may have been some fault on my part as well, being a bit strict and temperamental if something goes wrong with work or procedure, but on this occasion, I am innocent of any offense. I have tried my very best to be equanimous in all situations especially with the weaker sex ( I know there are feminists around in the world and they would rise hell hearing this. But in this case I am right in saying so. Their very line of attack is to exploit the ‘weaker sex’ angle and thus ward of any reactions from my side).

Just what exactly is wrong with these dames I can’t gather! I may not be the young and smart flatterer anymore, but I am still a decent human being, I don’t accidentally bump or brush (god forbid!) none of the young or old things who are around as some young lady killers do. I know this is a disadvantage, women like things a bit dirty, they like those hanging around them, and those saying silly but pleasing things to them, but unfortunately, I just can’t do that anymore.

It just don’t seem worth the effort, oh, I know in one way it is worth it, you would gain their favor and there are certain benefits with that in every field ( the weaker sex can’t be denied, you know, if they asks for a favor for someone else, that’s always granted by the “stronger sex”. They say many have advanced in life in that way. Unfortunately, I can’t be one of them). But to me such shortcuts are always abhorrent. I may be a little proud, but that came with the packing and I can’t do a thing about that.

So here I am enjoying the wrath of a number of amazons for some cause I know not. By the look of it they are going to suck me in through their noses. I just don’t know what to do. How do you manage a pretty antagonistic group of wenches assisted by the cowardly? If anybody has any views on the subject please let me know

The slaves and the masters

2010-07-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

The human emotional element is full of surprises. None can predict how it would react to situations. Perhaps this is the one thing that makes life worthwhile to live-the unpredictability of this subtle part of our nature.

But the shrewd have always managed to reduce it to certain forms that are either linked to our desire for survival or our need to love, both these primary desires encompass the whole spectrum of our actions, sometimes they intersperse and are quite indistinguishable from each other.

What we call feelings is the result of perceptions about our right to exist and to get-together. When these primary rights are denied or even subjected to pseudo denials we react. Honestly it is a sight to see. We often contrive to cut at the very root of what we are trying to protect in the effort. Strange is it not? But sadly this is the truth about the life.

It has always been my belief that most people lack real freedom to act and is controlled by a few. This is not a fantastical notion. Anyone who has studied the history of the evolution of the species would have to admit this more or less. Most of us have no real courage to think and act for ourselves; we would rather be led than venture to lead others. One needs to have some real iron in ones heart to take on that responsibility.

As I said earlier there are people who know this fact about the human-animal and makes use of it for their own benefit. They are strong where the others are weak; they are purposeful where the others are aimless. These people have been called the leaders. They invariable are the most terrible crooks in the world- every one of them- and I am not joking.

Once they rise to power either accidentally or otherwise they manipulate the rest towards those ends that they have unilaterally invented or discovered. These ends are just a cover to their real aim- that of enjoying the sadistic pleasure of humiliating the rest of the humanity and proving to them that they are superior. No real gains have resulted from their efforts. All that they build or supposedly cause to build are really an effort to gain more control and only caters to their own egos and nothing else.

These are the most selfish among the human race and unfortunately the strange flaw in our system makes us accept them as they are, even knowing their deficiencies. They, though, could be our lethal enemies, always manages to act or force us believe that they are our real saviors!

Yet they also know that one can’t control the slaves without fabricating a delusion of freedom in their hearts. This is done by a dose of permissivism; they are allowed to act-out their basic urges in respect of certain things once in a blue moon (one has to keep up the pretense that there is freedom in the world!)- Hence you are allowed to piss on the public roads in broad daylight and get away with it sometimes. You can also hurl stones or bottles against the law enforcers and put fire to everything in the vicinity on other rare occasions.
This is an effective method of control too. It directs the animal energy to harmless areas and saves the masters the trouble of pacifying their slaves with words or deeds.

We will talk more about this as we go along!

Who Knows

2010-06-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

Of late I have been thinking of the purpose of life- does it have a purpose? The more I think about it, the more I become dispirited. It seems meaningless, without any discernible purpose at all. The farce that people enact and call by the name of life is nothing of the sort-its really death in disguise. Our lives seem animated by a sort of blind will to survive, to hang on to whatever straws that we can find to continue this bizarre existence. It’s an animal urge, prompted by a strange force of nature and it has no connection with any purpose other than survival.

But any sensible being can’t be satisfied with this alone, even inanimate objects show a desire to survive or continue in the same state as long as they can. A crescograph would show you how things react when they come in contact with destructive elements. So survival is not the point of life, the dull survive as well as the active, sometimes the dull live long than it’s opposite.

So, there has to be some kind of life that’s worthy of being called life. Something that adds to our experiences, enriches our being, grants us light and frees us from our real or imaginary shackles. But though I have lived to be middle aged, I haven’t yet found any such qualitative change in my insides to say that living is a worthwhile activity.

Let me tell you, this is not born out of any recent calamity in my life (I take life as the biggest calamity). I live normally and have normal friends and foes- there are people who want me dead and there are people who love me. We all do that in our moments of intensity. So this is not about that at all. So then what is it about?

Look at my case; here I am in the midst of characters that have never made an effort to understand what life is. They live stupidly from day to day, thinking the same thoughts, going through the same motions, projecting the same hatreds and likings, immersing themselves in the same petty and useless pursuits!
Sadly they can’t enrich their lives the way they go on -let alone enrich that of others, even if there is such a possibility. In fact they are not any different from animals, the only plus being the ability to talk. But that rarely add anything in their lives.

So what am I doing here, what could I gain by mingling with such unthinking specimens of humanity? If I can vouch for anything it is this- none of these guys are ever going to even think that there is something higher in life than money and their immediate needs or pleasure, imagined or perhaps even experienced. The only thing is that they seem highly pleased with their lives. There would be a terribly self satisfied leer on their faces when they see some of the humanity that has less!

Why do I hate to see both, those who leer and those who suffer? I don’t know! Perhaps I hate the lack of finer sensitivity in them. May be I think that is what life is all about, sharpening your sensitivity, pointing yourself in some direction- but what direction? This is where it gets me. There seems to be no direction at all. There is only death at the end. It’s a blind alley. You can’t progress any further once you are in it. So what is this struggle that we are all going through to ward off death, why not accept it and be done with it?

No wonder some Japanese gentlemen end their lives just out of boredom. May be its much better that way! But is it? Is there an answer to the riddle of life; is there a way to weed out the petty and insignificant out of your lives? Or is it all significant in some way? Have I erred in terming certain things as of no importance?

Well who knows?

‘lofty’ regions

2010-06-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

Life often makes us good actors. In a way this is inevitable too, for none of us know what goes on inside our minds at anytime. Yes, we may think or claim we do, but on closer examination our every action or thought extend deep into the unremembered past and the causes that created the effects remains out of reach to us. This is not to say that we don’t have clear cut ideas of things and acts on them. We do. These ideas are often about power. We call them by the names of position, money, love or something that come into our minds-yet whatever we call them, it all amounts to one thing- the quest for power.

Beings are always in unenviable positions. They have to act, and act purposefully, and almost always they have to prove dominance in the environment they are in. If they fail to do so, there is tension and there is unrest.

Proving ourselves superior is so vital that we often commit blunders in its name.

All these came into my mind as I was trying to analyze the reasons behind a sort of lethal war going on against me that I can’t understand on the superficial level. I am not an especially difficult person to get along with provided I am left alone to do what I think right in any circumstances. But the hitch is, my ‘right’ needs not be the right of others, however “right” my right is! (There are no political connotations in that statement)

See, in a given situation, you have only one way to act- uphold the customs, law and regulations in force in the realm as they would not be in force unless they are time tested and proven beneficial. There could be any number of flaws in them, but unless you are powerful enough to change them, the better option would be to enforce them. This is especially true if the others in the environment are duty bound to follow them too.

But the cows on a page are yet to eat grass. So rules, regulations, codes etc will still be there till the human beings evolve into something better and finer but shall always be bent or neglected to suit the interests of those who are to use them. I am not a great stickler for rules as such. They are there to bring in order and prevent absolute chaos. A literal interpretation of rules would do more harm than good, for we are not robots and can’t at all times follow rules to their letters. I don’t see this as a failing; I see it as a healthy attitude to life and a welcome show of independence on the parts of the individuals who does it occasionally.

But such activities have to be shunned where there is real danger to the institution that you are working for. Failing to realize it and to go on acting as if it is divinely ordained to act for the downfall of the same organization that is keeping you alive is sheer imbecility. Only dotards would take such a course.

Well, if you want to know, I am living among such imbeciles and dotards at present. Some of them have openly stated that they don’t mind being transferred elsewhere if the organization is wound up here. That is, they still hold on to the stupid idea that nothing will happen to their institution and they still can act in the way they always have done, that is put their personal interests before work and getting paid for it all the same.

So they are enacting these little skits for my benefit. They pretend they are for or against anybody they decide upon beforehand and produce documents to prove their indiscretions and good deeds alternately. Unfortunately I am past that stage of being befuddled by their ancient tricks. I must say that they work very hard at it, and probably are being paid from some embezzled money for it. Such is their total devotion to the cause of discrediting the institution that they are working in. It would soon come to naught without the least doubt. The past two decades have left the institution completely unscathed. It has never done anything at all. Its staff is the most well fed and the most absent of the entire humanity. They absolutely hate to come to the office. It’s a religion and if they come to the office, are they fools to sit around somewhere and work? You dream!

From the chaprasi to sweeper every one holds equal powers with the head of office and give orders to their superiors without fail. Okay I am ready to admit that hillbillies would always be hillbillies, but such total disregard for what is to come! My mind boggles at the thought!
So I am acting my part in the deplorable little dramas that they are putting up every day. I am acting the part of a spectator and they seem satisfied with it.

I would not recommend any of these “maestro’s” in a children’s play even. They only have one skill- that of brazen self bias.
More from the ‘lofty’ regions soon!

Let's fumigate them

2010-06-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

What’s the greatest wonder in the universe?

The human ego, what doubt! There is nothing to replace it in heaven and earth. The way it reaches for the sky! It’s unbelievable!

There are these few guys I know of! They haven’t done a day’s good work in their lives and makes a living out of people’s money by posing themselves as their servants. Though they have the least idea about what they are doing, weigh them with a scale to measure ego, it would destroy that instrument.

Oh they do some work all right. That is if you are willing to pay for the services! Don’t ask why they are being paid for it from the government exchequer if you care for your lives! For you are sure to lose it if you do. You just don’t know the things frightened fools are capable of. They would kill and maim and commit arson to carry their day.

Imagine a scenario where a few individuals have done nothing but cash bills at the government treasury and bristle up when one asks them what they or their institution have done in the last twenty years. Well you get the idea. To waste all that money to pay for the up keep of a few families is tantamount to criminal embezzlement. But one loses prestige after sometime and behaves as if one is the best citizen in the world.
Well, the stories that are coming out from this hell hole is enough to make ones blood run cold. If you dare to utter one syllable against them, you are done in for. The only way to get rid of these guys and cleanse the world is to fumigate them good and proper. Well it has to be done with some strong chemical, because these individuals are tenacious and would survive even a nuclear explosion.

Don’t ever dare to tell them what to do! Oh they know what is best for the world and themselves, they have all the rules by heart. They would quote it by the boxfuls and you know, vice goes in holy company. They have protection right and left. The holy men pray for them day and night. Well one has to preserve evil in the world hasn’t one? It’s the bounden duty of all of us!

Let the seedy earn their living and the good of the people go to waste!

Let us establish the rule of the Devil in the world and pose as the saved!

Just WHAT is the matter with you guys?

2010-06-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

Lord, the way the threats come!

They come through looks, touches, smiles, head movements, poses, pauses, loud noises and what not.

They often now come in the guise of wireless communications. Yeah the threats have become sophisticated, but the mentality behind it remains the same. Ancient, callous, uncouth, Neanderthal…….

Yes, it’s a changing world but unchanging mores.

I think I have become immune to threats now, having received a quadrillion of them. Why are these guys so insecure? What’s pinging on their mind so that they can’t survive in a civilized environment without reverting to their animal past?

Hell, what the heck is the matter with you guys?

Do you still see forests around, do you still pee on all corners of your domain to mark it as your own, and do you still beat on your chests and cry out in anger when someone enters your territory?

Tell me; just WHAT is the matter with you guys?

No one has taken anything away from you. What the rest was doing was supplying you with prestige that you lacked otherwise. You were being derided at, you were being laughed at, and they were trying to save you from the terrible predicament by bolstering your pride in yourself. You were down and out. They tried to instill confidence in you to come out of it with self esteem.

And still you think you are being played!

You are wrong. They have no personal animosity towards you. They are on your side guys; they are the stuff the society is made from. No one can play the society down and play themselves up.

No one is gonna help you in such situations!

Modernization

2010-06-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

What would you say about a situation where hundred thousands of bucks are yearly spent for computerization and the equipment thus purchased with government money are tucked away in a cabin for safe keeping! The server is sitting idle and the hilarious efforts to LAN the computers within the small and cramped space of the cabin has produced unbelievable results. Though technically I am the overall supervisory entity in the establishment even my entry into it is arduously opposed by vested interests.

Only the “initiated” would ever dare to enter the sanctum sanctorum and operate on the ‘divine’ instruments. If a person like me enters the sacred space and tries to operate on one of the systems, several conscientious members of the establishment would overtly and covertly try to wean me away from the “holy” space!

I am trying to relocate the cabin itself as it seems to be a major hindrance in releasing dozens of imprisoned machines. Would you believe it, some of them are as old as ten years and have not been taken out of their packing yet! This is nothing short of criminal inactivity on the part of all concerned.

It is believably learned that the vested interests have approached black magicians to make me change my mind. I don’t know whether they are learned in their secret trade, but I am feeling rather dispirited about everything here.

This would only happen in this place I am in. It seems that whenever someone tries to bring these out and distribute them among the staff, someone kicks up a row and the threat to the damage to the machinery makes the persons in power hesitate about bringing them out.

No one can predict the way these strange and antediluvian specimens of humanity would act under any situations. There is a rule of terror in the whole area, the minute someone takes initiative to do something in the lines of common benefit the insecure lot would try to undermine it in any way they can. The common methods for it appear to be that of writing anonymous letters to all and sundry about the ‘activities’ of the all concerned. Failing that they would not hesitate to resort to violence to upstage anything they do not want.

Back to the middle ages

2010-06-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

I am in a strange place where the breath of change never dares to venture. Perhaps I am in a dreamland or someone is playing tricks on my mind. I don’t know, everything looks normal on the outside, but the moment one tries to penetrate within the shell one discovers a bizarre realm where only self interest rules supreme.

May be I am inside some science fiction story where the protagonist was put on a time machine back to where we all started, where we only bothered about our rights and never cared about our responsibilities. I thought that age was long past; I thought this was a new age where people cared about themselves only in relation to society. I thought the new trend was to consider every advance of the society an advance on personal level for everyone in it. Alas, there seem to be places where such knowledge is scant in this era of changes.

This one is definitely such a place. I have been trying my level best to make things happen in this new scene. The things I was pushing for is already in existence everywhere in the world and especially in the domain I work in. I am a bit slow to understand happenings of this nature. Being a person with a decided intent I am mostly surprised when my efforts to bring it into being fail deplorably. I have never yet tried to make anything happen that is not time tested and instituted already by society and is proven to be beneficial for the people in general.

That could be the reason for my surprise. But in a sense in this old world scenario nothing should come as a surprise to me. There seems to be no rule of law in this bit of land. There is only the presence of brute force. I have already stated the reason why my life and the lives of my family were under threat because of an incident at the office. This was only a precursor to other things.

The members of the lower level staff come and go as they please.This is a touchy subject, one can't do a single thing about them. Well, at least in this they are very modern; they seem to be operating on the basis of a flexible type of time. The only thing is, they do not carry their work load to any place else, that is, the little work load that they have. What they want is free time at the expense of the state. They of course ask my permission to go out. Whether I grant it or not they would necessarily go out. So my permission in such cases are only incidental. Larger forces are naturally at work on the outside to monitor these developments. They have huge reserves of crocodile tears in store for them and would become belligerent if we go against them.

They have been probably granted permission to leave like that by certain functionaries of the most prominent employee’s organization in the area! I am not guessing. And these guys run the world as you know(!), whether they belong to the class four or whatever classes. One has to obey them or else one would learn it the hard way. Organized terror is the bane of every public institution.

Yet there is this thing, that if I give any one permission to go like that, the other group would immediately complain to all and sundry that such a thing was done and there would be questions about it. All in all its a nice situation to have. It might even go up to the highest level of the government. Both the groups in essence are working close together to undermine the effective functioning of the office. This affects every level of the office. What personal gain these fools have in acting against public interest is something I can’t understand.

You all thought that such things do not happen anymore in the world and they are the things of the past. Well how wrong you were. There are still unlighted pockets like this in the universe. It’s my luck to be ‘deported’ here. I feel like having materialized in the middle of heathens. I do not understand the language they speak; I do not know the activities they revel in. This is a deplorably outlandish world. Here people quote rules in English by the volumes to impress others but do not know how to do a thing for the welfare of their own state, district, village or whatever.

I have always believed that those who learn rules by heart are the most ruthless of criminals. They foresee a situation where it would come useful to them. Normal people do not need to do that, they do not need to break laws and most laws are self evident in the working of the society.

Some of the staff had proudly presented the old case files containing everything including assault of higher officials of this organization to me They are chilling. It shows the entire retrograde history of the institution. Those who showed it to me seems to be immeasurably proud of the ‘great deeds’ that has happened in this office.

I have recently begun to wonder what purpose this organization serves at all. A careful examination of the workings and history of the organization leaves a complete blank to look at. No useful work has been done by it for a long long time. None of the functions entrusted to it has been carried out. No one at the helm has been able to run it any manner in the last two decades. And I am honest to the core when I say that none would be able to run it in any way in the future too.

It’s simply the case of the fence eating the crop up. If it was not a government institution it would have been wounded up years ago. One should not say such things about the place one works in, but let me tell you these are barest skeletons of what happens inside the environment.

Shifting approaches

2010-05-27T13:35:00.001-07:00

Times have changed.

This is the case the world over. People have become more enlightened and they are no more interested in mere words. They want results.

This is more so with regard to the services rendered by the public offices. They are being closely monitored by the general public and the public has become proactive rather than reactive to the workings of the government. There is more awareness about its various arms. The public seems to have developed the habit of questioning corrupt practices and bringing them to light.

This is a good thing and a very welcome thing too!

People are no more befuddled about the mysterious government it seems! The fear has gone out of their system. This has had a healthy reaction among certain functionaries of the government. It is more evident among the service organizations than anywhere else. They have discarded the old world notions about their “rights” and have become oriented on doing the right thing.

They have changed with times. There is little brute force involved in dealing with tricky situations in most cases. There could be isolated incidents that are otherwise. But these are comparatively rare and insignificant.

It heartening to know that things are changing in them and reason prevails rather than blind commitment to their ranks and the individual demands that they make. All have realized that we can stand together or we can fall together.

My recent interaction with them on an official level has brought this subtle change to my notice. There seems to be sensible people in the helm who are willing to listen to the problems that officers are facing and even consider working together for the betterment of the set up.
Let us hope that this trend would continue!

Let them dig thier own graves

2010-05-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

There could be any number of ways in which you can deal with a problem. But this only if there is enough reason around to go by!

If you come across irrational behavior the best course is to allow it to run its course and let those with such an attitude reap the dividends of their actions!

I can only laugh at the state of mind of some of the poor guys I have to deal with. They have landed themselves in big trouble by certain of their actions. I tried to make them come out of their shells and help them see the light of day. But they would have none of that! They are like children and unfortunately they are being controlled by some vested interests that have their own axes to grind.

It is not to be wondered at. When emotions rule, you just can’t get your mind in order. The controller of these guys had his share of troubles in the past.

The recent events after the threat have made me see their minds at work. The poor mechanisms have a lot to improve.

Can you reason with an unthinking robot programmed to do certain things? Well if you can, let me be your student for I can’t do that.

Once people fall into a certain type of frame of mind they won’t be able to reverse them and function normally. I am saying this fully knowing that those who have threatened me have a very poor grasp of things that they are dealing with. They might still become directed against me even if they were left alone by me. They might still try to harm my family.

It seems they are totally powerless and are wholly controlled by their passion and their submissiveness by others.

But I have things to run and duties to perform. So I have decided to hand the troubles over to those invisible powers over head who are normally more in a position to think clearly than those like me who is in the middle of the war field! So fully knowing that the imbeciles might turn against me at some future time, I am going to suggest a solution for their problems.

I am going to let them go. Yes I have been advised by others that if I do so, the idiots wouldn’t realize the good intentions on my part and would still go against me. I think I do have just enough sense to handle such things.

It may be true that those who control them might have some brains, but they still hast to work with these imperfect instruments. Other than the fear that these unthinking fools might take it into their head to attack me and my family (there is no use arguing with mules). The fact is that they are digging their own graves by their actions.

They would go under sooner or later! It’s certain to my mind. So if the guys don’t turn to murder and mayhem well I might just survive!

I shall be providing you with updates!

Who discovered doors for offices?

2010-05-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Phew, I am trembling, I am shaking to the innermost core, and I can’t stop shaking too- the matter is of no importance, I have been threatened- that too mortally.

Well if it was confined to me alone it would have been okay- not that I am the most courageous of guys, I am not, but at least it would have involved me alone. But this threat involves my poor family who had nothing to do with any of it. Now, no one can deny being affectionate towards ones family, okay we can act as if we don’t bother about them, but when it comes to brass- tacks, one’s own is one’s own, no amount of arguing would get us out of that one.

So here I am, unable to stop shaking, with no escape route in sight. The place I am in has a strange history too. People in my position have been attacked here previously……..

Is there such a place in the world in these times? Well there seems to be one at least….!

Oh I know, no one would be threatened by even the most callous of people without any cause. And viola! There is a cause. I called a guy back to duty because there was no one else to replace him. He was deputed for ‘other duty’ by me to make matters worse. My mistake in the first place, I should not have done such a thing at all!

He was angry of course (who can blame the poor fellow), he was building a new house of his own too and was probably wanted there. No, that was not the ‘other duty’ he was assigned, he was to assist in a survey. Well you know, sometimes we all do that too, we are human aren’t we? ‘No own house and all public office’ makes a guy dull. So all the guys in the world have to build their own houses in the course of their official duties!

Anyway in the course of the bustle of house building activity he seems to have forgotten to report back in the evening. Well that’s of little consequence too, who does such things these days, even the best of us does otherwise sometimes. It’s done mostly bona-fide, no harm intended. He would have reported to duty on the next day (probably). And I did not mind that.

Yet sadly I had the occasion to call the poor guy back for closing the office for the day. There was no one else to do that. He complained (he has every right to do that hasn’t he, who can deny that?). But I was without option, so I requested the guy to help me and I had worded it in the most polite of terms. He came and did what I asked.

Two days of preparatory time passed.

Then the union guys come.

And threatens me and the family, and they are dead serious about that. They name a place and ask me whether my family is staying there and they casually mention that there have been certain incidents in the office before.

I am frightened. You see, closing an office in time might even lead to ones and family’s detriment.

Shouldn’t I be shaking?

Back To Old Haunts

2010-05-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, pictures are out, I have a dial up connection now. Even my browser barely loads. So what do I blog about from now on? I need to do it mostly in text. Subjects of course are galore. And I do have some hidden readers when I go totally on the attack on some of these. They like it I think, and no wonder, their sado-masochist tendencies are only too obvious.

So Should I revert back to my former subjects? Our poor perpetrators also seem to need something to do. They have been enjoying too much of a respite for some time. It would not do to keep them idle all the time. It seems an interesting idea.

My poor friend who is under severe electronic assault has been requesting me to let his plight known to the world for some considerable time now. But I was hoping that my inactivity would egg him on to write about them him. Well it’s a no go in his case anyway. He considers himself too ineffective as a word warrior. Which possibly mean that I am somewhat better equipped for it. The implied compliment is all right and I enjoy such things every now and then. But all the same its hard work reading up on the stuff and putting his jumbled words into some legible format.

Well, I can’t really complain as I want to help him and also bring the rising or prevalent evil of the silent influence into the open. This of course is a fact of life now. None seem to notice it and we are getting used to the slavery by and by. People are so submissive that they would take anything if it comes supported by the sanction of authority.

This has always made me wonder. An establishment that was put in place to serve the people has subtly somersaulted into repressive machinery.
But let us leave that alone and talk about the travails and tribulations of my poor friend. He has been working in an office were ineptness rules supreme. The ineptitude has become so gross that they were regularly making funds intended for the development projects lapse. Strangely this has gone un-noticed and now all efforts are concentrated upon teaching my poor friend a lesson because he sort of made it public.

More about it later…………………..

Harder

2010-04-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

Its hard being alone
But its harder being
some one else

All else

2010-04-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

Once fear is born
All else dies

What?

2010-04-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

What makes us tick?

The extend

2010-04-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

How ludicrous can
We become?

Permission

2010-04-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

Need you seek permission
Before cutting down anything?

Whats the point

2010-04-22T14:16:00.001-07:00

Is there a point in
Tiring now?

Darkness

2010-04-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

When did the lamp
get switched off?

Replacement

2010-04-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

Slave drivers has recently been
replaced by "hard drive"ers!

Who?

2010-04-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

Who left these scars
on my poor face?

offline

2010-04-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

We both are a bit offline
Aren't we?

The heart of the matter

2010-04-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

Would you like to see
A blood red rose?

Just you know....

2010-04-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

Meaning is what we can't find in words now!

Testing Grounds

2010-04-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

Storms are what strengthens
Our relationships

The web within

2010-04-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

The web is often within that
Entangles us on the outside

The point

2010-03-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

The point is to create
Even if it gets washed
Away eventually

Strange fancy

2010-03-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

In some, we observe a strange
Fancy towards things destructive
Can you tell me why?

Uses

2010-03-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

lets not weigh down
on our hands, they may
have other uses

Flavors

2010-03-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

Cool, hot or old
Flame has flavors!

Desire to Desire

2010-03-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Memory is a sweetner
We mostly
Desire to desire.

Muzzy

2010-03-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

We do get wooly
sometimes don't we!

Sculpting

2010-03-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

Thoughts can't be sculpted
Into the medium, it seems
beauty can be

Transition

2010-03-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

Power could turn feral
During times of repose

The Other

2010-03-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

Love masquerades as the
The other sometimes....

Re arrangement

2010-03-10T09:57:00.000-08:00

Can the real be approached
by a re- arranging of objects

Courage

2010-03-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

It takes some courage to
stare reality in its face

Transformation

2010-03-07T11:07:00.000-08:00

Age need not divest us
Of our beauty, it has
To station it within

Visions

2010-03-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

May be we can only reinterpret!

Open the eyes

2010-02-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

Lets open our eyes
To our dreams

Comes back

2010-02-23T06:01:00.000-08:00

Nature would return to us
every vibe we send on

Smile at life

2010-02-22T10:42:00.000-08:00

What for trees flower
Other than to smile at life?

one and the same thing

2010-02-21T13:22:00.000-08:00

Things that protect us
Could hamper us too

Dimensions

2010-02-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

Two into three,
Three into four
Dimensions keep
On changing

Combination

2010-02-19T05:17:00.000-08:00

Happiness is a combination
Of circumstances

What need

2010-02-18T10:02:00.000-08:00

When you are in the right
What need is there for fright?

What changed?

2010-02-17T04:17:00.000-08:00

Here in Picasso its the aural into the specular,
But now in the world its the otherway round
What did change? Reality?

Phases

2010-02-16T11:24:00.000-08:00

Love is a strange mixture
of something ferocious and
Something dove like- both
swelling and fading like tides

Point of view

2010-02-15T06:55:00.000-08:00

Its not the objects that
Alters, its our point of view

Navigation

2010-02-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

Navigation is an art
That comes only
With experience

Never backwards

2010-02-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

Its an upward graph
Never a downward one